Entertainment For Lively Minds
Your least favourite Festive foodstuff?
Posted by Ricardo on 28 December 2011 - 3:39am.
As the Festive season draws to an end, I'm intrigued to find what the fine folk here think the least tasty seasonal comestible is during a week where any amount of questionable vittles only ever scoffed during Crimbo time might be
My vote is for the honey roasted cashew - a horrible recent intrusion in the Xmas nut bowl amongst the brazils and the walnuts.
So what's your least favourite festive foodie offender?
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Anything involving marzipan
The devils spunk.
Marzipan, oh god...
If it's made from almonds, then why does it taste so damn foul?
What's the secret ingredient which gives it it's particular after-taste I wonder?
The Spoiler Of Cakes.
Least fave for me: mince pies. Oh, & christmas cake.
Marzipan
I use Temazepam rather than Marzipan when decorating the cake. It guarantees a very peaceful Christmas.
Hee hee
All I can think of now is Jellies and ice cream...
No no no no no no no
Marzipan is the key ingredient for the evil Battenburg cake. I say evil because every Battenburg cake I have ever seen squats on the plate, casting its baleful evil gaze at me, whispering on the edge of hearing, "Eat me. Eat me. You know you want to."
Unfortunately, it is always right. And there I am, a weak and powerless salve, unable to resist. Damn you, Battenburg. Damn you to hell.
Another defence of Battenburg cake
Cut the cake into sixteen slices, join together to form a square, it makes a cheap and edible chessboard, use leftover Christmas cake decorations for pieces.
A word in defence of marzipan
The stuff you find on cakes is absolutely foul.
However, properly freshly made marzipan is yum. Moist and properly almondy. A competely different beast. Utterly scrum. And I speak as a life-long hater of marzipan.
Totally agree
I always hated marzipan, until I tried some home-made stuff that was more than 50% almonds. And, surprise surprise, it tasted of almonds! And very delicious.
The bog-standard marzipan is often no more than 15-20% almonds and padded out, or "cut" if we're making a cocaine analogy, with soy paste or sugar syrup or rose water (of sweet lassi fame). This is not much more than glorified plasticene with added sugar and should be avoided.
Christmas cake in general.
BLERGH. Don't like fruit cake. HATE all white icings. Christmas cake can naff orf and the matter of whether or not the door hits it on the arse on the way out is of no interest to me.
The marzipan is the only edible bit, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm not wild about that either.
Sprouts, though, are a funny one.
I don't really like them, and normally wouldn't give them houseroom. But Christmas lunch isn't Christmas lunch without a compulsory sprout or two.
I've always hated sprouts
but cooked them this year as my brother in law loves them. So, I tossed them in olive oil, sprinkled with sea salt and pepper, and roasted them til nutty. Genuinely yummy.
Love Sprouts
Especially the next day in the bubble and squeak.
Bah
They're the devil's testicles, I tell you.
Sprouts
I used to tell my kids they were eating boiled budgies' heads.
Oh, how we laughed.
Their mother remained curiously unamused, however.
Sprouts, sprouts...
LEAVE THEM ALL OUT! THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT!
http://www.eyegas.com/attackofthesprouts/
Brilliant!
I'm hooked (and I love sprouts).
"roasted them till nutty..."
...but they still taste of sprouts, no?
The Sprouts of Wrath (copyright Robert Rankin)
It's a whole new world.
I think of the usual boiled sprouts as mouthfuls of soggy sulphur. Like eating a teeny fart explosion. So, I've always hated them. Overcooked cabbage - actually any sort of overcooked brassica - is horrid. I think that's always been my problem with sprouts.
Raw cabbage is excellent though (think the crisp bite of a good coleslaw).
And these sprouts captured that crunch; they had a toasted yumminess about them. I genuinely loved them. Me, loving sprouts. Unheard of.
Sprouts in olive oil...
Your method sounds delish hannah, but I am the son of a yorkshire miner & can only eat them the way my Dad cooked them.
Basically, if you wanted sprouts for christmas dinner, you put them on the boil on bonfire night...
Sage and onion stuffing
Not confined to Christmas I'll grant you but guarantees the rest of the day spent with indigestion.
Sprouts are a given on this list too.
Turkey
Hate the stuff.
Meanwhile I love marzipan, especially in christmas cake context and sage&onionstuffing. I could eat a roast dinner with no meat, just the stuffing.
Somewhere a very loud innuendo klaxon is sounding.
What's the problem?
That's what I did. A plate of veggies for me (didn't bother with the stuffing though) which was really mainly a big pile of sprouts (I love 'em) with a jacket potato to fill me up while everyone around me gorged themsleves on a variety of dead animals and birds.
I was
Gonna type something really disgusting. But Christmas is barely over. And not everyone had an uncle like mine.
cranberry
revolting stuff. I'm a lover of all berry related drinks, foodstuffs, condiments, pies, chutneys, puddings etc but for some reason cranberries just don't it for me.
Fruit-based comestibles with meat
Disgusting. See also apple sauce with Pork.
Fruit-based comestibles with cheese, however - a completely different story.
Yum yum.
(NB: Best use of cranberries is juiced and mixed with vodka. Obviously.)
regarding alcohol plus cranberry
I related my anti-cranberry prejudices to some friends at a party last week and was forced to drink Cava with cranberry on the grounds. Waste of Cava to be frank. Nice with pomegranate juice though.
Can't abide
mince pies or Christmas pud, not even panettone. Give me a nice Yule Log though any time and I'm happy.
gravy.
Cannot abide the stuff. To me it makes everything taste the same and adds a sloppy, slimy texture to all that it permeates. The other thing I can't eat is chicken (or Turkey) skin. Just typing it makes me feel a bit queasy.
Mind you I have had Quality Street for breakfast.
I was about to type...
..."You've never tasted MY gravy". Then I thought better of it.
Cookery fanatic addendum follows.
(But seriously, if gravy is slimy, someone's doing it wrong. Similarly, if chicken skin is anything other than a crispy, salty, deeply savoury pleasure, someone's doing it wrong. OM NOM.
I'm not doing any better on the innuendo front, am I?)
You'll be telling us next
about the pleasure you get from stirring your pudding....
Seconded for gravy
Although, curiously enough, I like it in pies (even Fray Bentos ones).
As for chicken skin, it's the best bit of a KFC bargain bucket. On the rare occasions we treat ourselves to one I tell myself that this will be the time I don't slide all the crispy, slimy skin off the meat and eat it all before starting on the chicken itself.
Eggnog
It even sounds disgusting
Been offered it twice this year
Gipped twice.
Bought some Advocaat this year
...as an 'ironic' present for Mrs W.
Made some Snowballs for us on Christmas Eve.
My God, the Proustian rush. It was like being twelve all over again and getting a sip of my Mum's.
Mrs W, however, prefers it neat. Now that is disgusting.
I remember a student party
We'd inherited a bottle of Warninks (the previous tenant had left it in the fridge). Even us saddoes wouldn't drink it, but we left it out in a prominent position, convinced that some desperate person would neck it.
By next morning, there was no alcohol to be found in the house, except the bottle of advocaat, which sat there untouched.
Sillsallad
Vile Swedish tradition.
A salad made with salted herring, pickled beetroot, potatoes, pickled gherkins, apple and whipped cream or sour cream.
Disgusting.
Yep
That really does sound disgusting.
Ugh
However, leave the cream off and I'd go for it.
Sounds delicious to me
Genuinely. Though I'd probably go easy on the beetroot.
Sour cream just rules. The thinking man's mayonnaise.
The problem is our stupid English language's word for it. Who on earth would want to touch anything called "sour" something?
But they don't go easy on the beetroot
That is the main ingredient!
I love a homemade beetrootsalad (pickled beetroot, apple, sour cream and a little horseradish, yum) and I used to think that the problem was that I had only tasted the kind of sillsallad that you buy ready-made at the supermarket, but then I tasted my sister-in-law's version, from a tried and tested family recipe, and that was just as vile!
I've found that sillsallad is one of those dishes that people insist should be on the "julbord" (Christmas smörgåsbord)but nobody will eat more than a tablespoon of it and most of it ends up in the trash three days later.
(But I guess someone somewhere must enjoy it, and why couldn't that be you ?)
Your mention of beetroot reminded me
The GLW made beetroot in raspberry jelly recently. Wait, come back! It tasted exactly like, er, beetroot in raspberry jelly. She liked it, me and the children thought this might be a sign of mental instability. I think she said her mother used to make it donkeys years ago, probably something to do with rationing , I expect.
What would you eat with it ?
If it's to go with meat I suspect that red currant would go better with the beetroot (though not much better perhaps...)
I certainly hope she's not planning to eat it with her scones!
she ate it with cold meat, like a chutney
For clarification, this wasn't a jam but jelly, what Americans call Jello, a fruit flavoured dessert beloved of small children at birthday parties.
are you sure
she's not, er, on the nest?
The lutfisk
Well, the sillsallad certainly is rather nasty, but for me the vilest item on the Swedish julbord must be the incomparably foul lutfisk.
It's well worth avoiding.
Ummm... How can I say this politely...
but it looks like the chef got a little too over-excited when preparing it.
Lutefisk? Ha. Try surströmming.
Fermented, manky fish. Generally accepted as the foulest thing in th World, it is eaten by mad Scandanavian males who do it just to prove how hard they are. It smells so bad, apparently, that you are advised to open the (blown) cans outside.
Fraser has tried it, I believe.
Amazing.
Just looked the stuff up on Wikipedia too. It does sound genuinely vile, but I'm a little curious to try it. Same with lutfisk - you've got to admire a foodstuff that must not be brought into contact with silver and demands you wash up immediately after preparation for fear of it permanently wrecking your pans. Made me think of scumble.
During my 23 years living in Sweden
I have never eaten surströmming. And that's how it's going to stay.
It's not that bad...
...once you get over the foul odour.
Unfortunately you can't get over the foul odour...
Lutfisk, on the other hand, is delicious, when prepared right and served with a good sauce (and lots of allspice).
To me it looks delicious
But I am a bit strange. I do love almost anything that once lived in the sea - the slimier and rubberier the better.
To me it looks delicious
But I am a bit strange. I do love almost anything that once lived in the sea - the slimier and rubberier the better.
Ooh gosh..
Christmas cakes and puds. Like Bob, I'm not a fan of fruit cakes. Icing is too sweet for me. I like marzipan, though. Stollen is a fine thing.
Parsnips. I hate the bloody things. Bleuggh.
Sprouts, however, are great. Especially with chestnuts and bacon. They do give me the wicked windy-pops, though.
I've never really seen the point of turkey. Bit bland. Give me a lump of good beef roasted fast and hot and rested well. With lots of horseradish of the type that makes you feel that someone's been at your sinuses with a wad of wire-wool.
Ooooooh. Stollen.
Didn't make any this year, and now I can't think why.
As much as I agree that a 3-stone chunk of pink rib beef on the bone is about the finest plate of food ever conceived, turkey - for all its shortcomings - just is Christmas for me. Accept no substitutes.
Ooh.. 'Scuse me.. "on the bone" .. As you were, everyone..
Turkish Delight
When I was a kid we always had a box of this in the house. Hideous,pink and white lumps of perfumed congealed camel snot covered in a ridiculous mountain of icing sugar. Always left until last and eventually consigned to the bin in mid-January.
I remember a friend
Had some of the 'real'stuff and the consensus was that it was very nice, not all that sweet and with the Med in front of us and strong coffee rather than our student flat and lager it would have been fine.
Nuts
Other than the previously mentioned Three Evils of Christmas (Parsnips,
Sprouts and Marsipan)' the least desirable foodstuffs at this time of year (which appear in my house without fail every December) are:
Roasted Chestnuts
and
the bowl of mixed nuts.
The nuts are in a fairly expensive looking cut glass fruit bowl (wedding present (I think?)) on the sideboard with the nutcrackers resting neatly on top. There they will remain until mid-January because no sod ever eats them.
Nuts in general.
Always a pleasure.
(I'm trying to see how I can stop this from sounding smutty)
I like all nuts. They're very good for you as well. They can make a bit of a mess, though.
One man's ceiling is another man's floor
This whole thread is pretty much a list of my favourite Christmas foods. Sprouts? Love them, whether steamed, roast, shredded in salads, it's all good for me. Parsnips? Delicious roast and then glazed with a dribble of honey. Stollen? Fantastic! Rich fruit cake? Brilliant! Turkey? Yes please! Gravy? Bring it on! etc.
I even just looked up a recipe for sillsallad and have clipped it to my recipes file.
Noooooo!
Don't do it, yorkio, you have so much to live for!
Put! Down! That! Sillsallad!
Please - I will never forgive myself...
Meltis Newbury Fruits
Really nasty sugared fruit jelly things only eaten by ageing folk who have lost most of their tastebuds
Ha!
My mother liked those. Different times.......
Lost their taste buds...
..and, crucially, their teeth (probably through excessive consumption of said confections).
I blame sugar rationing during WW2
Anyone growing up during those tough times in Post-war Britain probably thought teeth-rotting confectionery like Newbury Fruits and sugared almonds the height of decadence
I cannot believe that we have had 47 posts on nasty
Christmas foodstuffs, and no none has yet mentioned ...
Eat Me Dates.
Urgh. Revolting. I feel nauseous just posting this picture.
Oh yes
usually left in the same cupboard as the Turkish Delight.
Ew
Dates and figs are the only foods that make me feel nauseous just THINKING about them. With other stuff I at least have to see it before retching. I think the shape of that box is unique to dates too. Yuk.
I have an intolerance to dried fruit
So Christmas is a real cover-face-in-handkerchief-and-run-out-of-the-kitchen time for me. Christmas pudding, Christmas cake, the revolting mince pies, they all make me gag - especially when they're warm and their scent pervades the whole house. Christmas pudding even contains suet, for goodness sake. Suet!
I have to just take my Arctic Log and retire to the living room.
Not just for Christmas
I thought my GLW was the only one who felt like that about dried fruit. I love the stuff and go through a kilo of raisins every couple of weeks all year round. It's a bit of a weakness, it's hard to walk past the cupboard with the pot of raisins in without grabbing a handful.. has to be Sunmaid though.
Christmas pud doesn't need to contain suet, most of the ones in supermarkets these days are suitable for vegetarians.. mind you, I have a feeling that you're not about to go and check!
Suet?
Wonderful stuff. Ditto beef dripping.
I'm not actually a massive fan of dried fruit, but there's something lovely about good mincemeat and Christmas pud. In fact, tomorrow the Boblets and I will be making next year's.
Nice
Have you eaten it all up yet?