"I'd rather let the music speak for itself"

• "It means whatever you want it to mean"
• "It was misinterpreted"

we just make music to please ourselves and if anyone else likes it that's a bonus...

anything said by Bobby Gillespie..
most sentences of his will include the following Mc 5, Iggy pop, punk and of course himself

"xxxx left due to musical differences"

"we're still in contact but I can't see us working together again"

"we've had offers of $squillion to reform but it's not about the money"

"We'll get together, see how it goes, and take it from there. But it's not about the money"

"[the reunion tour] was good fun while it lasted but artistically I think we've drifted too far apart. I can't see us working together again. But it was never about the money"

"We lived in a filthy squat and lived on bread and chips" etc etc. You wait with bated breath for them to mention the paper bag in a septic tank.

The talk of needing to get away from 'the band', find my own space etc - and ending up with an album that sounds almost entirely like the abandoned band

"I use to listen to my older brother/sister records Led zep, the beatles..."
They never mention of the king and I soundtrack, the best of the wombles or those top of pops lp with the dolly bird on the front.

There's also the mention of the impossbly cool gig they went to (seemingly) at the age of nine it's never Dollar or showwaddy waddy

Yes, of course my first gig was The Stones at Hyde Park. My mum took me, man, she was such a hippy. Then we went on holiday to the Isle of WIght and Jimi Hendrix was staying at the same B&B as us and he showed me my first chords on an old beaten up '59 Les Paul that he later gave me... etc. etc.

Get it regularly at www.theaxevictim.blogspot.com

"I don't write the songs..they're in the air and I just recieve them, like..."

"We'll quit when it stops being fun"

Anyone who quotes or claims to have read Rimbaud - Yes! I do mean you Patti Smith .

'We thought it would be great to work together again' - put that through babelfish and it comes up as 'well the PRS was on the slide, the audience were giving us a swerve and we needed a few bob in the back pocket'

Whenever a bubbegum pop singer or group reappears (after several years hiatus) on some hardcore music show like "This Morning", they always describe their new album as "...a bit rockier, a bit edgier, a bit more soulful..."
And the title of the new single or album is usually "Stronger", "Older" or "More Deluded Than Ever".
And you never see 'em again.

"Dark"
"Edgy"
"Challenging"

"If the band hadn't worked out I'd probably be in jail by now"

"I can't stand the travelling round the world, the five star hotels and all that. Touring's such a drag except for that hour on stage." (Neil Tennant once said something along the lines of "I love the travelling and the fancy hotels and restaurants and all that. It's the hour on stage I hate." Not sure if he was joking.)

"There's no such thing as grunge/speed garage/trip hop/Britpop, it's all a media invention." "We don't like to analyse what we do." Trans: what we do does not stand up to a second's examination.And the best of the lot...."I'm not answering that, it's personal" - this usually in reply to searching questions like "Are your parents still alive?" "Where did you grow up?" and "How old are you?" 

...having the freedom of being my own label. SONY/EMI/BMG/WEA/Virgin never really understood what I was trying to do...." trans "I was dropped"

"We're going back to our roots on this album"

"We like playing the smeller venues. You can see the whites of the audience's eyes"

Smeller venues? Smaller, of course

"As soon as we were back in the room together it was as if no time had passed since 1965/1977/1982."

Except, that is, for your hair going down the plughole and your gentleman's belly heading in the same direction.

"(S)he is a really talented artist and working with her/him has been an ambition of mine for a few years now."

Crib to reel thorts: "The bloody record company have told me that if I don't do an effin' duet with this pasty-faced no-hoper they won't promote my album. Chiz, moan droan."

"only 50 people were at the gig, but they all went on to form a band"

And I always ask myself, why did they bother?

"Y'know, that record had a couple of good tracks on it" - in defense of a universally slated bargain bin-clogger of an album

"...even though we have no original members in the band..." - when one is at the holiday camp 70s-spectacular tail-end of one's career

"We're putting out a special version for the fans" - when the record company needs yet another remix to hype up the charts

"The new album will be available to download only from the band's website" - when one is, er, between contracts

"I truly believe it's the best album we've ever done"

"...I've alway's wanted to record a whole album of cover versions..."

...the equivalent of Joni Mitchell's 'Blue' would be Miles Davis's 'Kind Of Blue'. Mind you, I've always been jealous of those who said they heard in it their parents' record collection. My parents' record collection consisted of worthy classical music, Peter, Paul And Mary, and Popmobility albums. Although the latter should at least be credited with introducing me to 'I'm Stone In Love With You' and 'Albatross'...

The last word on NME / Indie interviews is in the wonderful Half Man Half Biscuit song "Used to be in Evil Gazebo"..nothing more needs to be added!