You know you're middle-aged when...
The other week, I had to visit the Royal Highland Show at Ingliston, on the edge of Edinburgh, for job-related reasons. This is the massive, annual hoolie for the agricultural industry north of the border with royal patronage, prize-winning animals, rare breeds, food hall, horses, ill-tempered Shetland ponies and unlimited opportunities to buy a quilted gilet or green wellies.
I think I may have been at the RHS once before, years ago, but my peer group shows no interest - so it was always one of those aspects of Edinburgh life that passed me by.
And on this year's visit? I had a ball. After I did my work bit, I wandered round and got up close and personal with Aberdeen Angus the size of a Chelsea Tractor, breeds of sheep that looked like they just walked off the set of Doctor Who, ate some great food and inadvertently bumped into Princess Anne (well, okay, walked past quite closely). An altogether diverting afternoon - avoided the pissed young farmers in the beer tent though.
Told my mates over the next couple of days and they said, "Highland Show? Animals. Just a bunch of animals. What you want to go there for? It's just animals..." They almost seemed appalled.
The unremittingly 'landed' aspect of the participants at the RHS might indeed turn off some people who are leftie minded but what generally struck me was the notion that staying in and watching re-runs of comedy shows from the 1990s (my 40something friends) was supposed to be preferable to real life. It also made me think that next year I should borrow some friends' kids because at least they'd love it.
As for my mates, how fekkin middle-aged can you get? Mortgage, bickering with your partner and wage slavery aside, when was the last time you thought, "Oh shit, we're so middle-aged"?
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I knew I was getting on a bit
when I saw a attractive young woman walking down the street with her mum and realised that it was her mum I fancied
Kids
Trust me, having kids makes you feel YEARS older. Anyone who says they keep you young is (a) mad (b) lying (c) has no kids themselves.
The total truth
I was a young slip of a thing until I became the father of twins, nearly four years ago. Now I've got sciatica, ear hair and incipient man breasts. (Steady on, girls, there's no rush; you'll all get your chance.)
Twins!!
You deserve all our support! One is enough! I cannot imagine having 2!
Ain't that twin thing the truth
Had twins in January. I swear I have never had a longer spell with less reading and listening to music. Mind you the ear hair was there already...
As a result of
one of the marriage all-changes that we seem to indulge in these days, my second wife came with a boy of exactly the same age as my daughter (give or take a month). It certainly taught all four of us the art of compromise....
A middle-aged moment
Had a middle-aged moment last night as it happens. I went to a classical music concert at our local church (which is a whole other story) and during the half-time booze interval nipped out for a fag. Some of the young musicians involved in the concert - and we’re talking quite accomplished Royal School of Music types here - were skulking outside too, sharing a joint. My arrival at the scene had the same impact as the deputy head doing a tour of duty round the bike sheds during the dinner hour. I suppose there was a time when they’d have offered me a “hit”.
yes, you know you're getting older
when police superintendents are getting younger, don't you...
I've turned into my Dad!
With comments like..."she needs to put more clothes on" and "that's just a load of noise".
Can't wait for beige to become the new black.
Your eyes may water
Small talk during a prostate test " I went to school with your son " says the medical owner of the intruding digit ! .
The bloom has gone off Carol Vorderman ( same age )
You remember when drivers stopped at red lights .
You hung out with Noel Redding in the 70's but have to explain to a bass player who he was ! .
You WALKED to school past Factory's full of British world leading technology , in my case Plessey in Ilford .
No such thing as too old......
...everyone else is just too young.
There is, however, still a dim glow of satisfaction about having seen so many still going acts when they were barely starting, even the odd legend before they died. My main such was Sandy Denny, back in Fairport for the Rising like the Sun tour, 1975. Very much like the Fairport Live set that came out around that time. It was marvellous. Really.
wrong end of the stick
Forgive me but what I got from your post is that it always pays to be open minded and that being inquistive can lead you unexpected fruit. I think you cna be closed minded (like you firends) at any age. Also as often is the case round here one good aspect of "getting on abit" is thinking for yourself and liking what you like!
Moo
The sound of young Ingliston.
Fancying
the mums (and grandmums) on Hollyoaks, and buying garden ornaments - even if it is a Buddha
Unexpected fruit Chris G?
Well, unexpected goats perhaps...
For the *a bit older than middle aged*