Entertainment For Lively Minds
You could not make this up
Posted by Beany on 18 October 2008 - 10:35pm.
Lloyd Webber pens Eurovision song
Andrew Lloyd Webber is to help pick the UK's next Eurovision entry, in a overhaul of the BBC's selection show.
Lord Lloyd Webber will compose the UK's entry and embark on a search for the singer or group to perform the song.
Graham Norton will host BBC TV show Your Country Needs You to find new talent for the 2009 contest, after a string of poor results for the UK.
Lord Lloyd Webber said: "Win, lose or draw, I am looking forward to every minute of it."
The BBC show will follow a similar format to the successful How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? and I'd Do Anything, with Norton and Lord Lloyd-Webber at the helm.
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Cannon Fodder
This just in:
"Andy McKnob, ex-SAS purveyor of combat hardened prose, is to host a new show on ITV1; over 12 weeks, "Cannon Fodder" will subject a group of eager recruits to real military training exercises, including Commando-style assault course, live-firing exercises, and intense interrogation techniques to ultimately select The Warrior. Each week the judges, rumoured to include experts like Arnie and Jean-Claude VanDamme, will decide who gets slotted, until there is but one survivor. The winner will be dispatched to Iraq to sort out the whole bloody mess for us. Before Christmas."
I'll bet ALW's
'song' sounds like bits of old songs bolted together.
Why not just
cut out the middle man and get Norton to sing it?
The economy's buggered, everyone's miserable, we could do with a laugh.
No wonder ALW
is "looking forward to every bit of it." He'll be trousering another large number of wheelbarrows full of cash, I shouldn't wonder. If that's not mixing my metaphors.
He shouldn't be allowed on telly..
..he looks like the love child of Chris De Burgh and Jabba The Hut.
And the final 6 contestants performing tonight are...
Sinitta
Phil Collins
Peter Andre
Paul Potts
Mel B
Connie Fisher...but the winner is...
Sarah Brightman!
Some predictions
The BBC will achieve record Saturday night ratings for the selection process.
We won't win again, despite the changed voting system, because the singer won't be known in Eastern Europe and because nobody likes us.
Wogan will get in very high dudgeon accordingly.
The BBC will give Eurovision up as the bad job it knows it is & drop out, thereby saving the millions it ploughs into the contest.
Cynical, moi?
I'll be honest, I think it sounds like a brilliant idea
and I may even watch it if it's not too painful.
Eurovision is bad music anyway so why not do a talent show in the Pop Idol style. Although when I think about the terrible pacing, the fake emotions and the cheesiness of it, I get the impression I'll have to skip it. Still a brilliant idea though. And why not, as Barry Norman never said.
Brilliant marketing plan
Would be to get Tim Rice to write the lyrics and Elton to perform the song.
Graham Norton is definitely being lined up to replace Wogan on the big Eurovision night. As much as I like the old blarney stone it is way past his bedtime.
SO will each show
Have six people each singing the new song? Or will they have to prove themsleves on the usual karaoke-type stuff before being let loose on Lord Lloyd Webber's opus?
Funding the beast.
I don't want to bring up the old licence payer rant again but is Webber really that hard up that... oh god, I give up.