Schindlers List ? The Musical!
Surely its not been thought about, but if it has, it's got to be the worst idea in music ever i think.. either that or David Bowies Glass Spider Tour - so bad its good its bad is the saying ringing round my head!

No, most definitely is not the worst idea ever. In fact, I would go as far to say that Zeitkrazter's re-interpretation of Reed's 1975 classic is both stunning and signficant. The live version of Metal Machine Music is superior to Lou's original offering. Just goes to show how wrong you can be, Mr. Ellen.

This is a great idea. Metal Machine Music is a msterpiece from 1975. Zeitkratzer is the premiere chamber music orchestra from Berlin. Put them together with Lou Reed and see the sparks fly. Can't wait to hear this live album in September.

Metal Machine Music Live is an amazing album. I suggest you listen to it before you start dissing it. This is avant-garde music at it's most adventurous.

I had the misfortune to witness one of Lou Reed's worst ideas ever. At a concert in the mid-70s in Germany Mr. Reed stopped in the middle of the first song to hassle a guy in the front row who "wasn't appreciating my music." Between the next few numbers he repeatedly asked security to throw the poor guy out because "he isn't applauding". When the audience began to boo and whistle, Lou Reed stopped the band and announced, "OK, what do you want: This guy leaves, and we continue with our music..." (silence from the audience) "...or this concert ends right now!?" (enormous cheer and applause from audience) Lou storms off, rest of band looks at each other in confusion. End of concert.

Here's a mind-boggler for you - 'Achy Breaky Heart' legend Billy Ray Cyrus performing the Tango on the US version of Strictly Come Dancing to "Rock The Casbah". Await turning-in-grave comments...

Giving Robbie Williams a record contract worth £80,000,000 seems to be a pretty dumb idea.
Has anyone got a figure for the amount of records he has sold in America?
Let's have a guess?
I'd go for 34.
In other words, about half the amount that Oasis managed and 0.00000000000000000000000001% of the Beatles' total!

Actually, given the crassness and vulgarity of the record industry of the last 35 years, I think that it's much harder to think of a 'good' idea.

Somewhere in the dark, forgotten corners of my record collection lies "Boulez Plays Zappa", purchased a couple of decades ago after a not-very-careful reading of the title. Unfortunately, it does exactly what it says on the tin and was dreadful beyond belief; I seem to recall the arm being lifted from the vinyl after approximately five minutes, never to return. Whichever of the Boulez/Zappa duo was to blame for this nonsense, I know not. However, my purchases of both artists since this incident total bugger all.

Apologies for again adding to the glut of Stephens on this thread (or should "Feast" be the collective noun?) but is there absoulutely no one else whos quite likes the idea of Wooden Machine Music (thanks Carl)? And only a couple of months after the issue celebrating the Maverick Spirit too! The case for the defence: Firstly, intrigued to see how they will score for Chamber Orchestra what is essentially a collection of metalllic shrieks and tape hiss (plus if Lou is directly involved you can be sure he will insist on exact replication of the original). Secondly, such a wonderfully bonkers concept should be cause for celebration. Finally, the sheer disergard for the commercial viability of the project should also be applauded in these times. Having said all this, not sure if it will actually sound any good though...

I might be in minority of one by the sounds of things but I thought Prince's latest cd is actually quite good.Ignore the fact that it is free and I grant you I almost certainly wouldn't have gone and bought it which lends succour to the argument that it is getting his music toi a wider audience.
Regarding the ill founded ideas thread I went to see the stage production of Movin Out last year.It was truly dreadful but hasnt stopped other producers looking at this format. Spice Girls the comeback is a bloody dreadful idea BUT will make some serious dosh for ther talentless bunch of muppets in that 'group' not that they need the money - maybe they should pay our speeding tickets?????

In passing I see Mojo - can I say Mojo? - gave the new MMM a 3 star review.

The Berlin show was superb. I didn't know what to expect from it, but it turned out to be one of the best gigs I've seen in a long time. And we got Sweet Jane, Satelite of Love and Walk on the Wild Side as encores. As for Metal Machine Music, haven't heard it, don't want to hear it (in classical or original form)

What's the betting that the reward for sitting through MMM will be an encore of Walk On the Wild Side...

After all he did throw in Sweet Jane as s little titbit for going to see Berlin (which was pretty good show by all accounts).

Fair enough. I retreat from the field and lay down my arms. And Steve (there are a lot of us around aren't there?), I'm even prepared to accept that those first two postings were jokes.....not very funny though were they? Oh hell, there I go again....To drag this back to Lou Reed, I'm sure he would enjoy a bit of an online dust-up. And to give you all a chance to shoot me down in flames - if Rick Wakeman does go back on to the ice, I'm first in the queue. Especially if he plays Catherine Parr...

The never ending rumours of a Led Zepplin reunion, has to be one of the most ridiculous stories I read last weekend in the Sunday Express, alongside comments from Dave Gilmour that he would consider reforming Pink Floyd once more, if they could do a webcast from the Moon. Although I grant, both would sound a hell of lot better than Lou Reed's latest nonsense. Prince's latest album and The Sunday Mail also springs to mind. How the mighty have fallen. Dark times indeed.

In a similar vein, some years ago Bang On A Can recorded an 'orchestral' version of Eno's 'Music For Airports' that actually holds up pretty well. Didn't old Lou's own take on MMM change with the seasons, being first a contractual filler to piss off the record company before gradually mutating into his much misunderstood masterpiece? Again I would like to emphasise that I've never heard it. I thought I might wait for the re-re-mastered SACD version with bonus tracks. And in a further name check for Roger Wates I suggest searching out his version of 'Across The Universe' as another spectacular misjudgment.

I think I started all this comment storm I was just alluding to the fact that the thought of all the time effort going into something that was doubtful in the first place makes me tired (how many times has anyone ever listened to metal machine music?)Didn't Richard Williams review the blank side of the review copy and gave it fulsome praise? Also old Lou was in the Times talking about his T'chai etc I find the "reformed Rake" a very amusing character, we had a music journo in Guardian telling us all not to drink the other day! I have got a copy of a Joy division classical "make over" and it's tedious dross .Our home as children was serenaded by the first "Classic Rock" lp, life on mars as done by the LSO anyone anyone.

Sorry David sir, I now consider myself well and truly gagged. Bit like the latest dissenter in the Tory party - I was just getting interested in the debate which was far more exciting than the original thread of Metal Machine Music. How many people bought that album first time round and how many listened to it more than once? I am sure there are loads of examples of ill thought out ventures that made little sense to the intended target audience.I once saw Hatfield and the North play at Birmingham Town Hall to an audience that started at about 150 and dwindled to about half that after the first couple of numbers.I see now that in some circles they are revered as being an inspiring band of that era. Thats bullshit to me but am sure it resonates with someone somewhere. One would have thought that Lou Reed has an inkling that this venture may have an audience out there or is he just resigned to releasing any old crap come hell or high water? Okay dont answer that last question.

How about if Rick Wakeman wanted to re-stage his prog rock epic, "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and The Knights of The Round Table" on ice? And with a greatest hits medley to round the evening off? Just to make it more exciting, the build up to this special night could include a prime-time TV competition to choose the lead dancer and the main keyboard player. Wow!

In the military there used to be a rule that you didn't talk about religion or politics in the mess. I feel like that about speed cameras. It's not Five Live, you know. Now, about Metal Machine Music...

I think a sense of humour has gone missing here somewhere. My post was a gag. A jape, a lark. Heck, possibly even a joke. A Roll over Clarkson and tell the Hamster the news.
Yawns
ps I was done for doing 48mph in a 40mph dual-carriageway at 3am. No kids involved.

Oh dear, I really didn't want to go down this path (I normally save it for Andrew Collins's blog) but there's only so much nonsense you can put up with. If a motorist hits a child at 50mph they have a far higher chance of killing them than if they hit them at 30mph. I think we can probably agree on that. Now that in itself isn't proof that speed cameras save lives. But on the assumption that at least some drivers now slow down to avoid paying speeding fines I'm not sure it's too much of a leap of faith to suggest that some lives may be saved. Of course for those muppets (pace Mr Hepworth) who continue to speed you're absolutely right - cameras won't save any lives at all. Which is just wonderful. Well done. You must be very proud. Perhaps you could run through some of the other pesky driving laws you'd like to abolish in this spirit of 'no one tells me what to do' - turning your lights on at night; making sure brakes and tyres are in working order; giving way at roundabouts; making sure children are strapped into car seats; not driving while pissed out of your brain? And I notice you don't bring the same burden of proof to your comment about unprotected sex - can it be that you think 'being told what to do' in this instance may actually have saved some lives? And I still think Roger Waters' French Revolution opera sounds like a very very bad idea...

Hey, I was born in the mid-60s, I'll have yer know, Quent, old fruit.
PS I am now eagerly awaiting Gatso Aid where superannuated rockers come together to help pay the fines perfidiously inflicted on the likes of David and myself. Speed the World (Let us them blow their fixed-penalty fines) awaits

I am listening to this very record at the moment. It sounds rather like I imagine an abbatoir for wasps might sound like if you turned everything up to 111 and added extra teeth-scraping-down-kerbstones noises...

And guess who got caught by a speed camera on the way back from Cornbury? Me! Let me tell you, the full majesty of the law bearing down on me is as naught compared to the amount of high ground I have had to concede to the good lady wife.

Seems like I ruffled a few feathers eh? Steve L - can you produce the evidence that the 5 million speed cameras in this beautiful country of ours have actually saved any lives?No nor me. Boosted someones coffers without doubt. But hey I dont care - lets just let the greedy bastards take every penny we earn and tell us what to do as well. I thought that the end of the cold war got rid of this crap but what do i know?
Steve C - you're absolutely right the significant birthday was last November, how astute are you? Actually Bachman Turner Overdrive doing Metal Machine Music could be a good proposition. Call up their agent!!!

Blimey what a lot of Stephens on this thread! I bet that the most popular names on the Word subscribers list are Steve, Mark, Paul, David, John, Mike, Tom - good English names popular in the late 50s, early 60s. Lou Reed gets away with murder doesn't he?

I heard mention on the BBC news site recently of a musical based on the Nativity, performed in a disco style, entitled "Discotivity" and staring Pop Idol Michelle McManus as the Virgin Mary.

Actually I think it sounds pretty interesting. At least no one could accuse Lou of playing it safe.

Yes, Steve Turner, those pesky old nanny-state governments trying to protect their citizens' lives by advising them against unprotected sex and speeding in residential areas are a real nuisance aren't they? Next thing you know they'll be setting up a national health service and paying unemployment benefit. Bloody lefties. Let's get back to the days of survival of the fittest - things were so much better then. On a lighter note....I have to confess to neither having seen, heard nor read any reviews of Roger Waters' 'operatic history of the French Revolution', Ca Ira, but I'm prepared to stick my neck out and suggest it might not have been great. Poor Roger's not coming out of this too well is he?

Since I'm feeling positive today, rather than slagging the MMM reenactment, I'll just point out that a far more worthwhile, indeed gorgeous, acoustic cover of unlikely material, is "Acoustica" by Alarm Will Sound, a 22-piece chamber orchestra. This consists entirely of transcriptions of Aphex Twin choons, played on orchestral instruments, and is wonderful.

Hmmm ... perhaps you've had a significant birthday recently Steve? Just a theory. Nevermind, you just keep on driving too fast, clogging up your arteries, having unprotected sex, throwing your plastic fast food wrappers in the layby, and gettin' down to Bachman Turner Overdrive on the eight-track. To get back on point, Carl's right when he queries how anyone sells these ideas to their record label, who presumably - regardless of the artistic purity of the endeavour - will expect to turn at least a small profit. Perhaps in this case it's a tax loss gambit? Nice idea for a follow up too Carl. Could I suggest 'Two Virgins' as the third installment?

How about Westlife (or maybe Boyzone, not sure and not about to look it up, and their swinging album of Sinatra covers. Called, Perfectly Frank, I think. No, I didn't look that up either.

Hello Steve Turner - it's nice to know that we agree now again.

I don't think anyone is denying Zeitkratzer their artistic freedom, it's just mocking the stupidity of the idea.
What I wonder is how 1) someone came up with the idea and then decided it was one worth pursuing and 2) then managed to sell it to the rest of ensemble? It's going to be hard to know if anyone ever hits a bum note. As a chamber orchestra shouldn't the piece be renamed Wooden Machine Music? Finally as a follow up, they could always do a version of Neil Young's Arc/Weld.

Um, Steve Turner... is that a pseudonym for Peter Hitchens? anyway, I'm sure Chris is just using exaggeration to make a humorous point.

I am going to be totally un PC here but please do not use global warming or climate change as an opportunity to rid us of these crackpot ideas.Global warming is yet another chance for the bloody do-gooders to inflict their totalitarian ideals on the unsuspecting public. We had floods this year following one of the wettest July's on record - but the wettest? Apparently we had a wetter one in the 1800's - was climate change an issue then? Following on from telling us we cant eat unhealthy food, smoke, have unprotected sex,drive our cars too fast and myriad other examples we apparently shouldnt fly, should recycle everything that doesn't move,should use energy saving light bulbs if we can ever find a shop that sells the bloody things etc ad infinitum. I for one am sick of being told what to do and in this respect Lou Reed and his unknown German collaborators can do whatever they like. If people dont like it so what?
Is this a bit Victor Meldrew like - sorry but you should really allow artists the freedom of expression otherwise you turn into the fashion police.If its crap which I am sure it will be then fine - there will be an audience for it somewhere.

At least the orchestral version of ?Metal Machine Music? ? the original of which I confess to never having heard ? has the advantage of being less public than the fiasco that was the Roger Waters orchestrated live performance of ?The Wall? in Berlin. A technical disaster and surely an artistic nadir for virtually all concerned.

The jury I suspect is still out as to whether Roger?s proposed flyover by RAF Spitfires would have increased to the excitement or added to the egotistical mess.

I'd include anything Rick 'F***ing' Wakeman does ever. I once even had the misfortune to witness his teeth-itchingly awful attempts to compere a comedy night. *Cue shivers down spine at the terrifying flashbacks

Very tempted to suggest the announcement that Kelly Osborne is to play Mama Morton in Chicago - shan't be rushing to that one !

Maybe we can use global warming to curtail musical nonsense such as this. As in terms of the energy, aluminium and cardboard , transport involved in it's making weighed against the benefit to mankind i think this gets a 1 star rating ( = to one flooded (small) English county). Also do we really need the concert film, loads of wacky germans wearing black with complicated glasses scratching away for 60 minutes. No one will watch it .
Ps are we including anything Rick Wakemen does on ice?

Is this even worse?

"VISIONS OF DYLAN
A unique collection of photographs inspired by Bob Dylan

To celebrate the worldwide release of the DYLAN? retrospective album on 1st October 2007, an exhibition of photographs has been commissioned by a very select group of fans from the worlds of music, film, fashion and art
including Ronnie Wood, Patti Smith, Bryan Adams, Tracey Emin, Sam Taylor-Wood, Kate Nash and Lily Cole."

a] What is the point of a photo "inspired" by Dylan? Perhaps readers can submit their own.
b] Good to know that major Dylan fans Kate Nash and Lily Cole are onboard!

Hmm sounds interesting, maybe they could follow it up with a rendition of Pete Shelley's Sky Yen?

Maybe not.

Lou reed I remember had a sweet bass anchor that he used in his songs. Don't know if he does anymore, could be outdated.