Worst ever gigs.
Most of the readership of The Word are probably gig goers. We may not go to as many as Mark Ellen but we all rack up a fair few each year.
I've seen some truely memorable gigs over the 26 years I've been watching live music but in there amongst it all were some shockers. And I'm not talking support bands here either.
For instance I once, very misguidedly, saw Toyah. It was only my second ever gig and it was an early baptism into the world of rubbish gigs. It was 1982 and I should have cottoned on that it might not be all that I was expecting (just what I was expecting is lost in the mist of time) when I heard a tout trying to sell tickest outside for 50 pence. Whoever bought them were ripped off.
Oasis at Glastonbury in 1994 were dreadful too. I had actually liked their first single but after this swaggering, gobshite, boring crud I was finished with them and I haven't been swayed back into the fold by anything they have done since.
Nirvana headling Reading was a catasrophy. My mates and I joined the throngs of people who left early because they were so dreadful. I know they were meant to be one of THE great live bands (and I was a fan) but that night they were out of time and tune.
The very worse gig I ever saw was so bad that people who were there still talk about it today. Not that Angie Bowie in a nightclub in darkest Essex was going to be any good you understand so we weren't actually that disappointed by it. However I don't think anyong was ready for just how bad it was. She had decent musicians with her, her name probably saw to that. I have never seen anyone so devoid of talent on a stage however. When two of my cats have a slanging match it sounded better than her vocals and she writhed around like a...well words can't really describe it and the memory is still too painful to recall without the aide of strong drink. Suffice it to say that I never have and never will see such a shambolic and dreadful performance as I did on that night in 1985.
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Tangled Up In 'Flu
Bob Dylan, Hammersmith, February 1991. My first Dylan gig - can't believe I actually went back, based on this - and shockingly awful from start to finish. I give you:
1. Not once raising his chin so that anyone but the first five rows could see his face under his hat.
2. Attempting Lay Lady Lay, the second song, without melody or scansion, as if mumbling it to himself in his sleep.
3. Rendering several of his best songs unrecognisable - yeah, I know; but even more so - and padding out the rest of the set with bits of Under The Red Sky.
I've since read in various places that he was (a) possibly drunk and (b) suffering from a terrible bout of 'flu.
This was him about a week later, effortlessly balancing spiritual discovery and self loathing:
However, I have to say that I've seen him five times since, and he gets better each time. They say the darkest hour is right before the dawn.
Toyah Toyah Toyah
Yes, I too made that mistake, or rather, the first Mrs Path made me accompany her to the B'ham Odeon for the most hideous screeched cacophony ever, with the emphasis on cack. I fact, I also recall M People at the NEC, as a special Xmas "treat": that was not good. Amazingly, on another such occasion, for the children this time, East 17 were OK. No, really!
By and large, tho', I have been lucky, with very rarely ever concerts been more of a chore than a pleasure. Occasional sound balance problems are a greater problem, witness Mark Knopfler on his recent tour. Ruined what was possibly quite a good show.
Where did you see him, Retro?
Knopfler that is. I caught him at the Albert Hall in May on his current tour.
I've seen him play there at least twice before and each time the sound was below par. However, this time, after the first 2 numbers, the sound became crystal.
I think it's that venue. I've said similar things on other threads but the RAH can be a dog of a place for the rock and the roll.
NEC, B'ham
Bad on a good night, but Springsteen was perfect, Neil Young and Yes, separately, not bad. This was just the worst and muddiest sound ever. All the way thru'. First night of same tour as you.
Hmmmm
Yes.
I was disappointed but resigned to it when I heard the sound at the RAH. But, obviously, the sound desk pressed the right set of buttons to sort it for that night so I enjoyed the show immensley as a result. I'd waited years to actually hear him play, rather than just be in the same building as him listening to a dull roar.
Never done the NEC. Wembley Arena blows hot and cold. Newcastle City Hall always sounds marvellous.
Sleeper
Brixton Academy 1996 at the "height" of Ms Wener's musical fame.
Truly, truly bad sound (never previously heard a bad sound system at Brixton - sack the engineer please) - Louise sounded like a cat coming into season.
70 minutes of my life wasted and I want them back!
Sly and the Family Stone
Bournemouth. July. 2007. So beyond shite that I was traumatised.
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Glasgow Barrowland, 1994 (I think). Embarrassing. Interminable "jams" punctuated by complaints about the weather. It was in Glasgow, what were they expecting?
Lone Pigeon, Edinburgh 2005, although to be fair, he was probably unwell.
They weren't bad gigs at the time but for about five consecutive years I used to go and see Glary Glitter every Christmas Eve. I feel rather odd about that now...
Leader
That's a gig I'd forgotten about but you have now reminded me of an awful Gary Glitter moment in the mid nineties at Wembley. I was possibly the only person who stayed sitting down during this amazingly bad gig, head in hands at the embarrassment of the crowd all standing shouting 'Leader' at an old man dressed in leather wearing an unconvincing syrup.
Of course every one else was having a ball but I just didn't get it and I feel quite smug about it now.
Rickie Lee Jones
Last year at The Stables, Milton Keynes. Thirty six years of going to gigs under my belt and she was well and truly the worst. I was thinking of sneaking off to do some late night shopping at Tesco - and I hate shopping at Tesco.
Sonic Youth
All Tomorrows Parties. Camber Sands. 2000
Bloody awful
Britney
SECC in Glasgow about four years ago on the hilariously misconceived `Onyx Hotel' tour. In my past life as a journalist I covered gigs etc in Scotland for about 15 years and this was on a different scale of awfulness to anything else, to the point where it was hysterically bad. I fear this might have been the start of the prolonged Britney breakdown...
foo fighters acoustic set
was incredibly hard to enjoy
A few years back I had to review Westlife at Wembley
And then had to run home feeling soiled, ill and despairing of society
David Bowie
Glass Spider Tour. Cardiff Arms Park 1987. Shit Sandwich. I actually booed. Something I had never done before, or since.
Elton John - how could I forget
Already posted about this:
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/gigs-you-really-shouldn-039-t-have...
utterly without merit