Entertainment For Lively Minds
Worst Band Names?
Posted by Charlie Mingles on 12 January 2012 - 1:01pm.
Ideally otherwise good bands but just with terrible names. Apologies if this has already been done.
My favourite, from an old Radcliffe & Maconie show was Vaginal Jesus.
I wonder what happpened to them and why they never hit the maistream.
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Daisy Chainsaw
Ugh
It's got to be
"Does It Offend You, Yeah?"
(shudder)
Still going, apparently.
Pretty much anything with punctaution
Listen to the last podcast for more details; special mention to Panic! At the Disco. And didn't there used to be a band called !!!
!!!
Still going I believe.
Cripes
It's just been pointed out on a post below that it's meant to be GOOD bands with bad names.
For the record: I am not a fan of (shudder) 'Does It Offend You, Yeah?' and I have no idea what they sound like (the name put me off).
Do they
offend you, yeah?
You mean
Do does it offend you, yeah? offend you, yeah?
Not sure there's a correct way to punctuate that statement.
Do
I mean do does it offend you, yeah, offend you, yeah? Yeah, I do mean do does it offend you, yeah, offend you, yeah.
Yeah?
I think
that it's a great name just because it is so bad.
Ben's Brother
So unimaginative it beggars belief. Not a good band, either.
Also:
And You Will Know Us By Our Trail Of Dead
Paris Angels
Coldplay
Anal Cunt
Fuck Buttons
On a similar "Radio 2 favourite" token as Ben's Brother
"The Yeah-You's"
*brrrr*
Air Supply
Gasp
[edit]
Sorry, just seen you want GOOD bands with bad names, so I sit suitably embarrassed.
Oops
I just realised that as well.
Possibly my favourite contemporary band
But I cringe when I have to tell people that they're called Super Furry Animals. Too twee by half.
See also: Arctic Monkeys
I'm with you there
.. and Gorky's Zycotic Mynky or whatever.
I'm told, and I believe, that they're both pretty good. But I won't find out because I won't listen to them.
OK maybe one day when I mellow out a bit.
I'm also not too keen on the one word, one syllable - Blur, Pulp, Suede. Rush are OK though.
Super Furry Animals
One of the best bands to come out of Creation, if not THE best, and a fantastic fantastic catalogue of music. I love the name btw, and if you find it funny just call them SFA.
Beady Eye
Surprisingly awful choice coming from such an apparantly well-educated and culturally refined young man.
when I was 13 I had an imaginary band consisting of just me
When I was about 13 I had an imaginary band consisting of just me and we only ever played inside my head. I cant be the only, I have a feeling it was quite common amongst teenage aspiring musicians.
Mine was called the Funeral Photographers (like Wedding Photographers yeah, but, like, heavier) we( I say we) wore my dads silver tie round our head and white talcum powder on our faces.
I welcome the opportunity to know I wasnt the only one ...
I misread that as The Funeral Pornographers
Which is somehow entirely believable as a band name.
Still together
My best mate and I formed 'Melba' when we were at university. We have never formally split up but the era defining debut imaginary album 'Occasional Hatstand' remains our sole statement and defining sound some 14 years on. When we do split we have decided that we will reform after 15 years with an expanded lineup and be known as 'The Old Beans'.
Despite all this we both have full and active social lives, I maintain a thriving relationship and his career is going swimmingly. Probably why we never released so much as an imaginary EP as a follow up.
The world still waits...
Hobby bands
My brother was in a band at the turn of the 90s called appallingly Raising Cain, who then changed their name even more appallingly to Orchid Lounge.
Then they split up.
It did spawn poor man's Badly Drawn Boy Tom McRae, known as Jeremy Blackall in those days, however.
Mine was
erm...'The Truth Basket' a portentous phrase, the portent of which escapes me for the moment. TTB consisted of someone who had no idea how to play the bass guitar taping random plonkings until they got bored (me) rewinding the tape, then fiddlng about with static on a radio over it while recording it all onto another cassette. (also me), then sending it to John Peel. I was 27 at the time.
Seas of the Moon - inc. Mere Tranquilius
Yes, when I was about 15 I did eventually record an album (I say, album - does recording it on a cassette count?) with my best pal.
A concept album called 'Seas of the Moon' recorded on two small cassette decks (depress play and record type) using two acoustic guitars. other than that our box of sound effects consisted of a funny noise the tape heads made when you held two buttons down together and the funny 'electronic' noise the portable tv made when you first turned it on.
its straying into four yorkshiremen territory now though, so I'd better stop. or continue. either works ...
Oh yes, me too
My band was called The Avenging Army Of Tomorrow. It was me and my neighbour Trev. I was about 14 and he was about 18 but was a bit, how we used to say, "slow". My name in the band was Zak and his was...Trev. We wrote a whole pre-Apocalypse rock opera. Unfortunately we just had lyrics and no actual tunes, or maybe just one that sounded suspiciously like something by the Moody Blues. Then Trev got a job on the bin lorries and the band split, man.
Indie and 'challenging' bands
This is a problem particularly for indie bands ("Crispy Ambulance", anyone?) and those bands that like to make a lost of horrible noise in the sub Sonic-Youth style (e.g., grindcore and the charmingly titled "anal Cunt").
Imagine if you will, a house in a slightly shabby suburb:
[Gran (G): How's Jeremy's pop group coming along? He used to be very good on his guitar. A probler little Elton Jack he was.
Embarassed mum (EM) avoiding the question: Oh, Jeremy's at University now, doing a sociology and media degree.
G: Do tell me the name of his group, dear. I'll ask Terry Wogan to play a song for me, and maybe even a few of the girls can buy his CD.
EM: Umm, they call themselves "edible dingleberry", mum...
Not a band but a solo, ahem, artist
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Mr Ken Liversausage playing his charming ditty, Gooseberry Puss.
I saw this reviewed in Sounds, probably in the late 70s or early 80s and had to Google it just now to make sure I hadn't imagined it.
Other poor names, and I speak as a fan of both, The Men They Couldn't Hang and 10000 Maniacs
'If it doesn't look good
Carefully etched in Biro on a school pencil case, it's not a good name'. That rule was all well and good in the 70s and 80s, when there were only about 20 pop groups, but there's 2 million now. William Gibson claims that if you google almost any word or short phrase, one of the first dozen results will be some bands website.
For myself, I'm quite fond of Georgian (As in the USSR) Techno act Cock & Ball Torture.
Your post makes me wonder
What a Georgian (as in 18th century) techno act would be like? :)
The Foetus incarnations
Loved old Jim Thirlwell but struggled to pop into selectadisc in Nottingham and ask for any of their lp's. Was at least smart enough not to try W H Smiths!
Scraping Foetus off the wheel
Foetus
etc.
Having read my subject line I can't recall if he ever used "Foetus in carnations" but he probably used it for some b side compliation or other.
I asked my Grandma
for 'Journey Through A Body' by Throbbing Gristle for Xmas in 1982. She came through like a boss.
Do you remember 'Freur' ?
Old rockers who jumped on the New Romantic bandwagon, their gimmick was that their name was an abstract squiggle, wich was in fact, pronounced'Freur' That worked.
See also early 90s grunge act Live, who Madonna signed to her Maverick label. Their entire 6 week professional career was spent getting angry at interviewers asking if the name was pronounced 'Live' or 'Live' before they disbanded out of sheer embarassment. apparently the issue had never before occured to them.
Freur
Before they called themselves Freur and were just a squiggle, Sounds called them "Elephant With A Stick Of Rhubarb" as that's what they reckoned the squiggle looked like.
Was it them who became
Underworld?
think so Nick
Two words
Doot-Doot.
Not quite Live
Unless there were two Lives, the early 90s version were pretty successful. Their second album "Throwing Copper" sold 8 million copies and is worth digging out if you like that angry over-caffeinated kind of thing (which I do now and again). They never signed to Maverick and - minus their original singer - are still around.
They did spend quite a lot of time explaining that it was pronounced "live" rather than, err "live"
Oh well, live and let live, eh?
I know the answer to this, it's "Cerebral Ballzy".
Case closed!
that certainly sounds like a
that certainly sounds like a contender to me. that magical combiination of apppallingly bad taste subject matter with appallingly bad pun certainly has the whiff of naive/smart-arse teenage boy about it -- surely a winning combo if ever there was one.
how come we never get taken seriously man?
At the time
of the much-hyped Woodstock anniversary in 1994, several bands at my college attempted to put on a free music "festival" (translated: three-hour-long concert) in the hall. They called it Trinistock (the college being based in Trinity Buildings.)
Posters were printed to advertise the event. The two headlining acts were The Spastics, and Child Fucker.
The publicity from the local press could possibly have been turned to the "festival"'s advantage had the college not banned the event following a visit to the head of faculty by the local police. Charges, which I believe were eventually dropped, included illegal bill posting, and obscenity. The organising committee attempted to portray themselves as martyrs to censorship, as if they hadn't guessed what would have happened. The fact that they had included a photograph of the recently-murdered James Bulger on the poster didn't exactly help their cause.
We're soooo wacky
Sultans Of Ping FC has to be the worst band name ever. Run a close second by Does It Offend You, Yeah? as mentioned above.
Long names can be brilliant, of course: I still think My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult is a fantastic name for a band. Anyone know if they're any good?
My Life With The TKK
Chase down "Confessions Of A Knife" and "Sexplosion". Trashy WaxTrax Euro-Sleaze at its best. Brilliant stuff.
A Flock of Seagulls
It's too easily forgotten just how woeful a name that really is. Drink it in.... Awful.
Similarly, Puddle of Mudd. The addition of a superfluous 'D' merely serving to draw attention to the rubbishness of the name.
It's been said before...
...but I'll say it again.
The Beatles.
Agreed
Though the familiarity of it means you really have to think about it to realise what a bloody awful name it is.
Like The Clash in reverse.
I imagine its been said
I imagine its been said before many times also but -
The Police, Queen. Led Zeppelin's pretty rubbish too, just a crap expression for something going down badly.
cream - also a shite name.
Led zeppelin
Is a good name for an overrated band! Oops sorry wrong thread
Meal Ticket
Around 1977 I saw a band called Meal Ticket supporting Ry Cooder at the Hammersmith Odeon.
They released at least three LPs of generic country/pub rock and received quite a big push from United Artists, I recall.
I remember thinking it was possibly the most passive band name I'd ever heard.
Well, they did have Yoffy from Fingerbobs in the line up
AKA: the wonderful Rick Jones.
That's right
I'd forgotten there was a kid's TV connection. How strange.
That's the kind of
amazing fact I come here for!
(No subject)
!!!
Lazy, oh so lazy.
Chk Chk Chk
I believe it's pronounced.
That doesn't make it any better, mind.
banner advert
Reading this thread how could we all of missed the hugely unimpressive Little Willies banner ad that sits atop it like the opposite of a colossus.?
In fact banner advert is a better name for a band than Little Willies.
Wasn't he Gaye Advert's brother?
I must admit
I quite enjoyed their first, eponymous album, the second, an album of country covers, looks like it's a return to form for what's really just Norah Jones and her band after her experimental solo album, The Fall had a mixed reception on its release in late 2009.
Warm Room
A friend's brother's band (changed since).
What did they change it to?
'Tepid'?
I used to be in a band called "Prevention"
(The Massive) - Were they any good?
STD - Well they were better than The Cure.
(You many have this one, McIntyre)
Bat for Lashes
stupid name, wonderful music.
My little brother
A musician of considerable technical ability but zero creative ability, spent the entire 80s and 90s in forlorn attempts to break into the music industry, successively beginning Heavy Metal, New Wave, classic rock and at the end dance-rock acts. His New Wave/Skinny tie/The Knack era band was called Casual But Cool.
My son's mate...
...was in a thrash/scream outfit called, incongruously, Portrait.
Prefab Sprout
...the quintessential good band / rotten name combo
Of the myriad examples of crap band /crap name, at the bottom of the pile one still finds Wet Wet Wet.
I don't think either answer...
...can be surpassed. Probably.
Ladies and Gentlemen
I present Coum Transmissions, Genesis P-Orridge, and Cosey Fanni Tutti's pre Throbbing Gristle performance group. I never heard them so I don't know if they were any good. But that logo has haunted me for years.
"the local police hate us"
...and our mums won't let us stay out after our bedtime.
In 1971 in Hull
the local *everyone* hated young Master Orridge.
But anyone who has the slogan
"We Guarantee Disappointment" can't be all bad.
BTW,Coum were pretty radical if Simon Ford's Book is anything to go by>
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is a rubbish name,
but their first album was tip top.
I'm having a week in France.
In a place called Les Gets. The other year, whilst here, a popular French group played an outdoor gig. They were called Aston Villa.
If it's good enough for Kaiser Chiefs, I suppose..
Their revenge for Saint Etienne perhaps?
Wang Chung - a terrible, terrible name
Yes, I do think Dance Hall Days is a good song.
The other one - Everybody Have Fun Tonight - is filed under "False Jollity" along with Right By Your Side, A Sight for Sore Eyes and Dance Into the Night.
Now wash your hands
Always hated those unflattering female band names that perhaps started out with the best of intentions, but went just a little too far in trying to compete with the boys in the sexual braggadocio stakes.
So, we ended up with Fanny (that one didn’t translate too well outside America), The Slits and Hole.
Four Non-Blondes
for it's sheer pomposity - bordering on misogyny.
"Because, like, blondes are dumb, yeah?"
Fuck off and take your one annoying hit with you.
Oh yes.
Dreadful song, name and early 90's hat.
The Alarm were originally called
The Toilets.
I'm not convinced Supertramp is a great name.
Tin Machine - no thanks.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - not sure if the name's good or bad as I'm too biased in my hatred of them now.
Hot Chocolate - bit embarrassing really.
Kasabian's a naff name too - why glory in the Manson murders? I mean, ok if you're some kind of gothic metal comedy act like Venom or something but when you're a pop/indie/rock thing?
Razorlight - again I'm a bit conflicted about my bias against them.
Hue & Cry - awful group, awful name.
Dire Straits - kind of arrows in on their dull side when they actually were often a great band.
Chumbawumba - always puts me off them
Great names? The Byrds, T Rex, The Supremes.
Röyksopp
Bloody foreigners. Nice records, but I don't do umlauts. Why couldn't you be called something easier to say that somehow acknowledged your Norwegianness.
Like, I dunno, Slartibartfast.
There's always Douglas Adams'
original name for Slartibartfast in early h2g2 drafts, which he had to work backwards from to get something fit for transmission:
Phartifukballz
True.
I never knew that, though I
I never knew that, though I love all of his stuff.
He once said the difficulty of getting a screenplay developed in Hollywood was like trying to cook a steak by having a string of people coming into the room and breathing on it.
If it's still in print
The h2g2 Original radio scripts are full of great stuff like the above, contributed by Adams, John Lloyd, Geoffrey Perkins and a couple of others. And all the grams used for transmission in the show. Really great book.
Absolutely seconded.
A wonderful read, even though I'd already done the books and radio shows numerous times. And not just for a tragic (which I suppose I am/was), genuinely interesting and funny background material.
Pains me to write this...
...because I really love him - but I think Will Oldham deserves mention here.
After coming up with the 'Palace' moniker in his early career, which in itself is so simple and elegant, he kept mucking about with it. So you have two Palace Brothers albums (one of which didn't have any other brothers on it, if I remember rightly)...then Palace Songs, then Palace, then a record with no official band name at all, then Palace Music.
AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, he then ditches the theme completely and calls himself - of all things - Bonnie Prince Billy.
I think being so - ahem - cavalier about the name under which you send your work out to the world qualifies him for this thread.
And while I'm here - not quite in line with the OP since I have no idea what this band sound like - but I think the worst band name I've ever happened upon is Shitdisco. I mean. Shitdisco.
Bonnie Prince
I've genuinely never bothered with him due to his annoying name!
Not a band
but Joan As Police Woman has been singled out before around these parts as a pretty rubbish name
Now..
I kind of like that, though I guess liking her helps a lot with that.
Never saw the logic behind Gay Dad either
but Machine Gun Felatio had their moments of brilliance.
At least Gay Dad was funny
It got a lot of mileage in our house when the kids were growing up!
Sorry unless I missed them
Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly - oh, do fuck off, dear
The Curious Death Of Liberal England = these students will never bother the Top 40
just seen on DIME
Killed By 9v Batteries
Regurgitator
The Central Scrutinizer Band (Zappa tribute - they play 'Whipping Post')
and from the "it must be name that is funny when you first hear it but progressively less funny every time after that" school
Dandy Warhols
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Wizards of Twiddly
were a pretty good mid 90s prog act in the mould of Cardiacs but the name just summoned up the memory of D&D player's favourite, Ozric Tentacles, another prog band I could not abide at the time but quite liked their name. Their techno spin off act, Eat Static also had a commendable name but it was ghastly music.
William Shatner's Pants
I really can't decide
He's been having trouble with Klingons for years
...
Fatboy Slim
Oh my acheing sides.
Neutral Milk Hotel
Sod off, will you?
Tee Hee
once bought an album of theirs. Not much cop.
I loathe band names that sound like other better previous bands
I don't know if this bunch of boy band bozos are too young or stupid to have heard of a certain seminal Northern Irish 70's punk band, but their name really grates me for it's dumb unoriginality
.
Similarly..
Dirty Pretty Things is quite appalling, isn't it?
Are they shite? Never heard them.
Nirvana
are probably the most famous example of this.
Not that I'm saying the original 60s Island/Vertigo duo were much to write home about either, before anyone gets upset.
My Chemical Romance also irks me...
...just for it's resemblance to My Bloody Valentine. If you're a guitar band playing under the alt-rock umbrella , maybe it's best not to give yourselves a similar sounding name to a very influential indie band that came 15 years before you
My son
sent me a text, as he had been listening to the radio and someone with my name had sent in an email to say that he always called this band 'My Chemical Toilet'. Alas it wasn't me. But they'll always be My Chemical Toilet from now on.
In the same area...
It's diffucult to beat Bullet For My Valentine.
I dont know...the young people of today...rhubarb etc.
Dogs Die in Hot Cars
*case rests*
(apologies if already cited)
Ungoogleable
There were a bunch of bands last year who I struggled to find much about as their names were too nondescript to make it possible to find them in Google, which surely must be a consideration these days.
So, think on Braids, Mirrors, Belong, Friends and the like.
Top. The Band.
Great bands. Irritating bleeders.
I had that problem
last year after seeing a festival gig by new Swedish prog band Samling.
When I tried to search their name to buy the album from my regular online store the list that came up was endless, due to the fact that "samling" in Swedish means both "gathering" and "compilation"...
And after going through the list, it turned out that they had only released a single at the time, so the work was all in vain.
the like
would be the most wonderfully annoying name for a band, wouldn't it?
They Exist...
...and have a few decent songs too, such as "What I Say And What I Mean":
I realised what I'd done there about ten seconds after posting and wondering if anyone would pick up on it.
The Xx
I mean clearly they don't want people who are at work googling their name. Especially on a video search.
{Penny drops} Perhaps they don't know anyone who has a job!
What about the daddy of all
definite article absurdity?
The The.
Matt Johnson: fabulous artist, not so hot on choosing band names. For shame.
Splodgenessabounds
Possibly one of the worst gigs I ever went to. Sheffield City Poly - November 1980. They were supported by a band called Anti-Pus. After a member of the band got his cock out on stage and berated the 'dykes at the student's union', for preventing them having strippers on stage, someone let off some tear gas and the whole crowd had to evacuate the hall just to be able to breathe.
EDIT: I want to make it clear that Splodgenessabounds were grade A shite - there's no way on Earth that they could be regarded as good.
Possibly, punk band, Anti-Pasti?
I worked in a banana packing factory with the bass player, Will from Anti-Pasti in 1986. Top bloke.
I never saw Splodgenessabounds live, but their brand of 'Pathetique' Oi/punk was top notch for me as kid in 1980. And that gig sounded brilliant.
So, 'Hold your cherries', Mr Sparks!
My morning jacket
Avoided their music successfully because of the name until I heard "holding on to black metal" on the radio and could resist no longer. They're rather good.
You should catch them live
So good I bought a T-Shirt with the bands name on it
I avoided them for ages maybe on account of the name
.. but I read enough positive reviews of them to yield. I now count myseld amongst their biggest fans. Absolutely love them.
Crap name though, yes.
The Style Council
Who elected them, then?
You're kidding...
I think that's a great name, although I did vote for them.
From the wonderful world of hip hop
Some decent acts with crap names:
Definition of Sound
Young MC (now he was asking for a limited shelf-life)
Ruthless Rap Assassins
Stereo MC's (only one MC in the group... superfluous apostrophe... and it's 1988, so no-one has been impressed by stereo for 20 years)
Lord Alibaski
Grand Wizard Theodore
MC Buzz B (ouch!)
Mc Mell O (oucher!)
*EDIT* This is actually a pretty rich seam. Streetsounds Hip hop 18 has acts called Frick'n'Frack and (deep breath) Renard With No Regard Featuring Ced What? (their misspelling, not mine)
Whither Gary Clail's On U Sound System?
Always thought it sounded like something written down the side of an odd job man's van.
Two words on this subject...
Crispy Ambulance
Nuff said
Two words on this subject...
Crispy Ambulance
Nuff said
Er...
That's at least 4 words.
How about...
...Dread Flimstone and the Modern Tone Age Family?
Great tune, though.
There used to be
A crusty / punk band in Belfast who used to play a lot at the local art college. They were called Pink Turds in Space. I can't help but think it's a great name - sorry!
Worst name to my my way of thinking . . .
. . . was "Get cape wear cape fly"
I think Jools Holland opened up an interview with him with the immortal lines "Now Get Cape . . ."
Bands I've been in
Mr. Hopper and the Mexican herb doctors
The Funky Cheesy Wah Wahs
110%
All terrible names, all terrible bands
Any US band that deliberately mis-spells their name
in order to be able to trade mark/copyright the name:
Limp Bizkit
Puddle Of Mudd
Black Crowes
etc etc
That covers
just about every hip hop/rap outfit and solo artist. Ever.
Or are they excused from criticism?
somebody and the somebodies
I don't know why but I have always disliked band names that name the frontperson and then a band:
Echo and The Bunnymen
Katrina and the Waves
Florence and the Machine
I might like the band though. Just hate that way of naming themselves.
But ironically...
...Somebody & the Somebodies would be quite a cool name.
i always thought The Pop
i always thought The Pop Group was one of the best names. cant remember whether they were any good or not though
Not impressed
Here are a couple from the 70s...
One hundred ton and a feather
A Raincoat
TRUE!
Johnny Hates Jazz...
Not the best.
Guns 'N' Oatcakes
Now disbanded. Its a shame as their website contained a page of items stolen whilst gigging in Guernsey. Not a nice thing to happen but it gave their old school rock profile an added touch of Spinal Tap like missfortune.
Chodburger
Not a bonafide band as I cannot believe they ever got past the mates with guitars phase but Chodburger use to play around Watford in the early 90s.
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Here's paragraph one of their Wikipedia entry.
After the disbanding of Idiot Flesh, Dan Rathbun and Nils Frykdahl joined with Charming Hostess member Carla Kihlstedt (of which Rathbun and Frykdahl were also members) to form Sleepytime Gorilla Museum with Moe! Staiano and David Shamrock. Their first performance, on June 22, 1999, was to a single banana slug (Ariolimax dolichophallus).[2] The following night's performance was their first to a human audience.
Best Tribute Band Name?
This has probably been done here before. But for what it's worth my favourite is Atomic Mutton - probably not a real one, but it should be.
Also possibly apocryphal ...
South American rock/soul duo tribute - Argentina Turner.
No one mentioned
Funeral For A Friend.
Both shit and cheerful.
pre 10cc groups e.g. 'The Yellow Bellow Room Boom'
Not being a fan of 10cc in the first place does tend to give the wikipedia entry on them some ironic distance for me as it reads like a brilliant Spinal Tap like parody of such a group.
'Plans for an album by Frabjoy and Runcible Spoon faltered, however, when Marmalade ran out of funds.'
'In June 1967, Godley and Creme reunited and recorded a solitary single("Seeing Things Green"' b/w "Easy Life" on UK CBS) under the name "The Yellow Bellow Room Boom".'
Most convoluted name of all?
Remember All Cried Out, a soapy, rather nondescript ballad from the mid 80s? You might remember it was by Lisa Lisa - however, the full billing for the single is the frankly unbelievable (takes deep breath) Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam with Full Force featuring Paul Anthony & Bow Legged Lou.
Surely it's I WIsh It Could Be Christmas Everdy day by
Wizzard with backing vocals by The Suedettes and the choir of The Stockland Green Bilateral School First Year with additional noises by Miss Snob and Class 3C - or something like that
Even if I'm told by someone whose taste I usually share, that
they're wonderful. (I don't expect this to happen.) I swear I will NEVER listen to
The La's
due to their lamentably bad name complete with equally bad punctuation.
Wayward apostrophe notwithstanding
I'm reliably informed they have the one good (if somewhat derivative) song in the shape of There She Goes
Well, the punctuation is fine...
...because it's a contraction of "Lads", as per Liverpool slang, as far as I know. But it's still a rotten name.
One of them said
that the apostrophe was there to make sure that people said it right - ie as the plural of "la" rather than "las" as in Las Vegas.
So they knew that the 'strophe was wrong. It's still crap though.
Your Loss
...and how do you feel about mis-spelled pub menu boards, or fruit & veg shops where the staff didn't attend grammar school? I'd be really interested to know.
Ladies and Gentlemen
I give you...The Smashing Pumpkins.
What little I've heard I don't much care fore their music either. Plenty of people do though.
This is why it's crap:
it doesn't have a definite article.
But if you're British, it practically invites you to put it there, making you think they're some jaunty jangly indie band (like The Brilliant Corners, for example) and not a bunch of whiny tossrags led by the slap-headed miserabilist fuck-knuckle Billy Corgan.
Some friends of my teenage daughter...
....started an emo band several years ago with one of the most brilliant/appalling names I've ever heard: Werewolves of Hysteria. They never played a gig, but they had a MySpace page up before their first practice....
Chairlift
Pathetic.
The Differentials
Surely thread over?
Metallica
I've always thought it naff.
You imagine them all as 14 year olds in James Hetfield's bedroom trying to think up the heaviest band name possible. If I was 14 I'd have come up with something very similar I'm sure.
Metallica. Christ. 'Hey, we play metal! Our music is like, you know, metallic! Let's call ourselves Metallica?!' (voices break at this point... involuntary erections occur unbidden...Mom calls them down for dinner...)
Having said that I do like them. And thrash metal is not the subtlest of genres. A name that says it like it is is probably the best option.
I always thought it was a comparative adjective
"We're not just metal... We're not just metallic... we're even metallicer than metallic!"
"Hmmm. There must be a better way of spelling that"
"It's a made-up word anyway, knock yerself out, pal"
Maroon 5
Maroon is such a shit colour, isn't it?
I always had a soft spot for Eyeless in Gaza and Crispy Ambulance as shit band names, but now I think they're quite good.
Ooh look...
there go And the Native Hipsters again.
There was a band down my neck of the woods that called themselves "4 Abreast" (note the sophisticated alphanumeric combo) but were immediately named "The Tits" for ever after.
Burnt Out Vaginas
played in that London last Thursday.
Burnt Out Vaginas - oh, I'm so shocked. Oh, the earth is quaking with their daring vulgarity. They must be really bad. In the bad way, not the good meaning of bad.
The Hives
Not a particularly pleasant name, coupled with some lame band member monikers - Chris Dangerous, Nicholaus Arson, for example. However, there is compensation in their finely titled guitarist Vigilante Carlstroem. His original stage name was Barely Legal; were they fans of the Royston Vasey boys (1:16)?
More to despair of
Whither:
Gay For Johnny Depp
Meanwhile Back In Communist Russia...
? & The Mysterians
Yes
Wagon Christ
Thebandwithnoname
Hammock
A
Man Man
Girls
18 Wheeler
YACHT
RPA & The United Nations Of Sound
Rinôçérôse
I mean, really? That was the best they could come up with.
A? Is that it?
Yeah man, deep...