Entertainment For Lively Minds
"Win Britney Spears' lifestyle"
Posted by BigJimBob on 11 December 2011 - 10:26pm.
This was the grand prize offered on the phone-in quiz at the start of the present X-factor series. Surely they couldn't be serious. Have the X-Factor been following Ms Spears' life in the last few years? Sounds like a poison chalice to me. Can anyone think of a worse prize to win? I thought perhaps a trip to Mark E Smith's dentist....
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Earlier in the series
the competition prize was to go on holiday with Olly Murs. I'm sure he's a perfectly decent sort, but I wouldn't want to feel under obligation to chat to him over breakfast every day.
Win Ian Brown's vocal coach...
.
Win a dinner date with Lou Reed...
.
and yet again
Mr Crowther finds a winner just as the competition starts
Well...
it was obvious really, wasn't it.
WIN!!!
Van Morrison's Harmonica!!!!!!!
Win a copy of 'Play in a Day with Sid Vicious'
.
Win two dinner dates with Lou Reed...
.
Win two dinner dates with Lou Reed...
and a copy of 'Lulu' by Lou Reed and Metallica.
Win a day 's hunting
with Dick Cheney
Win an all expenses paid
bar crawl in Soho with Shane Macgowan
If I were still a drinking man...
I'd be up for that, I think.
In 1997 I saw Mr MacGowan staggering down Stroud Green Road in London at around 9.30am dressed only in a bin liner and holding a bottle of scotch. In its own way it was a good look.
Win Simon Cowell's
Music collection!
The difference between Simon Cowell's music collection
and most of ours is, of course, he actually owns the music... and the label... and the artists.
Win a flight with Bill Berry
Win a steak dinner
with Morrissey and Chrissie Hynde
Radiohead
Win a week in the studio with Radiohead. Hear all the wailing and guitar noodling that was even worse than the stuff that actually got on the record.
Win
A Fred West patio.
Win a free cut and blowdry
...from Salon Phil Spector.
Win
all of the songs from the X Factor ever.
Sheryl Crow
Win a whole year's supply of Sheryl Crow-branded toilet paper.
(Prize contains four rolls of two-ply. Only suitable for people whose diet contains nothing but raw vegetables.)
Win a fully featured bathroom suite
Designed by Chuck Berry.
Win a lifetime's tenure...
of Spinal Tap's drum stool.
...or the Grateful Dead's keyboard chair.
Five dead keyboard players so far...