lots of wee folk in garish outfits on nags? No thanks.

I do like this, however...

My money would have been on Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon.

Does Speedway still exist?
It used to be a regular feature on Sportsnight with Coleman in the early 70's. It was popular enough to make Ivan Mauger either winner or runner up in BBC Sports Personality of the Year around then. I haven't seen it for decades.
I always found a strange fascination in watching motorbikes going sideways, for the most part, round a cinder track. I don't miss it though.
The worst sports event ever to be televised (I know it's not quite what you're asking for) has to be Dressage where horses are manouevered very slowly back and forth, while dressed with ribbons in their mane and tail. It makes synchronised swimming look riveting.

...and motor ( ahem ) *sport* of any kind.

a complete and utter waste of time.

Agreed. Whichever bike gets to the first rin the lead wins. It's as boring as that.

Rugby League - poor relation to Union.

But the winner by miles (although it's more of an event than a sport) is the Boat Race. No-one I know (with the exception of a couple of ex-public school boys at work, which says it all really) could care less about it, and yet TV companies actually pay good money to televise it.

I'll watch football match after football match. I like watching and playing golf. I like playing tennis but watching it bores me rigid. I quite like watching the occasional baseball game (not quite as much as is on in our house though - my wife watches it). Just about everything else I could happily never see again. Top of my "why do people want to watch this?" list are cricket, athletics, swimming and anything that involves a boat... did I forget to mention snooker?

I'll watch Rugby (Union of course) but that's about all. I used to be fairly heavily involved in rallying back in the 80s but have no interest in watching it these days.

(Not too sure I approve of this new 'Collective' thing - all sounds worryingly socialist/anarchist to me. I'll stick with the 'Massive' thanks.)

I'd choose Tony Benn over Tim Westwood every time!

Football - good to play and watch but can't abide the hype. Have just got bored watching Italy Vs Egypt.

Cricket - Good excuse for a beer. Opportunities to listen to old boys decrying the flash antics of the on-field wannabes have provided many hours of amusement.

Rugby - Both codes have their merits. Love the 6 Nations whoever is playing and will get to Wembley sometime for the Challenge Cup Final.

Badminton - One of the most underrated sports of all time. Trouble is it's rubbish to watch. Playing ... now that's another matter.

But sodding F1 - believe me I've tried. Friends, relatives, colleagues have all extolled its virtues. For the last Grand Prix I pinned my shorts to the sofa with me in them and watched 53 laps of ... nothing. Nothing happened! But surely the sound, the noise, the technology. If I hear a vintage turboprop or fast jet fly over the house I'm outside in a flash and having witnessed seven Harrier's performing a sychronised bow where the ground is vibrating with the intensity of sound, frankly a bunch of pithy engined asthmatic mosquitoes processing around some tarmac sort of pales into insignificance.

By comparison the coverage I saw of the Moto GP last week had more happen in 5 minutes than the whole 4 wheeled version.

Now for real excitement try live Ice Hockey. Infinitely better than anything the TV can rustle up. For a start you can see the puck which is always an advantage.

If it involves chasing a ball about I'm in - if it involves skates or horses, I'm off.

Hang on a minute - monkey tennis flash.

Celebrity Horse Racing on Ice fronted by Vernon Kay.

You'd watch that wouldn't you?

Thought so

...that unless you are born within the sound of a pitch (is that even the right word? or is it a green?) you will never begin to understand, much less enjoy, cricket.

Not true. We grew up in a republican area of Northern Ireland and we played cricket every summer. The chucks didnt like it but we loved it. Saying that i dont understand the nauances of the game but as a child it was a game we played everyday from June till the footie started in September. Great game.
Rubbish sport has to be tennis,closely followed by F1

For feck's sake lads (probably no lasses - although happy to be wrong): golf. Utterly pointless.
I agree with Paintyface, I share his shared background in Nationalist NI and we loved the slap of degenerating tennis ball on inexpensive Lifestyle Sports (or occasionally homemade) willow from June-September.
Along with glorious summers of gaelic football, the greatest sport on God's GE. The perfect mix of subtle ball play, shrewd tactical acumen and unadulterated violence in back of beyond town lands.

..sport..and the people who play it can go and get fucked.

The athleticism of Jordan must make him one of the (apologies list-aphobics) top handful of sports people of all time. It does cross all boundaries.

It's called Slamball.
I just keep expecting to see Ben Stiller.

has become a bit of a sport...

I don't like any sport where, if you get tackled, you get to keep the ball. That rules out Rugby League and American football.

The other daft rule is the second serve in tennis. It's reasonable, when playing with very small children, to allow them a second go if they made a mistake. The idea that some six-foot-six musclebound multimillionaire with a racket made of Semtex who can hit the ball at 150 mph can make a complete mess of his serve and then be allowed another chance is preposterous.

And don't get me started on leg byes...

Why anyone would want to watch or play "proper" golf when crazy golf is infinitely more fun is beyond me.

Until recently, I assumed this was a Monkey Tennis but no, it exists, people have been playing it competitively since 2003.

11 alternating three minute rounds of chess and boxing - competitors may win by knockout, checkmate, referees decision or elapsed time.

(shakes head in amazement)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing

Any sport with cheerleaders is rubbish including 20/20. Prime offenders are American football and basketball. It's like they are saying, "We know it's dull so when you get bored you can watch these girls."

That said I'd rather watch an hour of any of those sports than five minutes of Formula 1 it's a mass celebration of death.

Union really is the absolute arse-end of dull: 15 fat, thuggish bastards sweating their way round a pitch. There's no grace, balance or anything resembling true rugby skills. "We've got the ball! Kick it! They've got the ball! They've kicked it!" What annoys me is when there's a decent overlap, and they still bloody well boot it into the stands.

The only decent - genuinely skilled - rugby players who grace Union are the ex-League players, e.g. Jason Robinson. Union only stepped up a notch when ex-League coaches, e.g. Shaun Edwards, came in.

I'm actually not that crazy about Rugby League either, but I know which code I'd rather watch. At least in League there are tries and exciting attacking moves.

Also, Darts seems to be getting disturbingly popular, which is actually a good thing, simply because I can now claim that Pork Scratchings are training food for a honed athlete.

No-one has been killed in a Formula 1 race since 1984 - I suspect more people have died playing (say) squash or golf in that 25 year span.

In the 55 years that Formula 1 has existed, 24 drivers have been killed in competition. Compared to (say) many other sports this isn't a large number although, of course, F1 has many fewer participants than other forms of sport.

Curling..?? ..Explain , please
Rythmic Gymnastics..pile of nonsense, balletic yes, sport no
Synchronised Swimming..it´s lovely an all , but it´s not a sport.

and I've been a big fan of Beach Volleyball - and Women's
Pole-Vaulting since.

It was the sheer athelicism and tactical subtlety I admired.

and I can watch a game of footy if one side is caning another but my interest in sport twitches about in the doldrums mainly.

I tend to agree with Dylan Moran on sports fans who once said something like, 'There you are in the stands, with your double-chin, your belly bursting through your £75 replica top, holding a pie - shouting advice to some of the highest paid and talented athletes on the planet. What the f*ck do you think you look like?'

I'll get my coat.

I seriously do not trust anyone who says they don't like sport.

It's like saying oxygen smells funny.

I love most sports and can see the attraction in a few others that don't particularly interest me but American Football? I've tried to get it but it seems to be built around advertising. There's no rhythm to it. I doubt even RP McMurphy could inspire me.

however i am actually grateful for their existence, they are very good for poking fun at.

Its wrong just plain wrong

especially cricket

golf, rugby UNION, basketball, athletics