Where do they go when their 15 minutes are up?
Posted by Vulpes Vulpes on 14 April 2008 - 11:04am.
The singles chart is depressing. It seems packed with tunes bashed out by a committee, and these days it must be a de rigeur risk aversion strategy to engage a collaborator for a "Featuring" blame-share arrangement.
The "artists" seem to have names generated by a warehouse full of monkeys bashing away on mobile phones with prdctve txt and ran.dom punctu.a.tion.
So who ARE all these poor hopefuls, doomed to abrupt abandonment by their record companies in a week or two?
Where are last month's orphans and what are they doing these days?
Was my weekend shopping in Sainsbury's packed by a former chart topper?
Have any 16th minute unfortunates been sighted recently, carrying out menial tasks and rueing the loss of the stretch limo?
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Hearsay...Hear'say??
Whatever they're called, one of HearSay is now in Corrie!
Pop conveyor belters
If they have any musical talent then they go into writing and production like Debbie Gibson, Betty Boo, etc. If they have a personality then they go a reality TV show like Suzanne Shaw and Alesha Dixon, if they have any singing talent then they join a West End musical and if they have any acting talent they join a soap. For everyone else there's plenty of touring shows tramping around Corn Exchanges, town halls and assembly rooms up and down the land with names like the Solid Hits Tour and What a Feeling and then for the dregs there's commercial radio station roadshows, holiday camps and cruise ships. I wouldn't worry about them, there's plenty of work out if they're preapred to stoop low enough.
Not strictly relevant but...
I thought I'd point out that Alesha's debut solo single 'Knock Down' is a fantastic pop record. It's got more hooks than a Spanish fishing vessel, much like Biology by Girls Aloud.
Check it out.
An unusual example of European cooperation:
What do the French and Spanish call an undersized, illegal-to-land Bass?
Answer: Lunch.
I think the length of 15 minutes has been underestimated here...
15 minutes of fame is probably sufficient to set up a lot of directions. Even 15 minutes away from Wordblog these days seems to produce tons and tons of new strands. How can a mere mortal keep up?
I don't think I could name more than about 5 No.1 records...
from the last 10 years. The singles chart is a total irrelevance.
Fifteen minutes of fame these days
gets you a Brit Lifetime Achievement Award.
Blazin' Squad
A 'hip hop' 'crew' featuring a load of chavs. One of them, 'Kenzie', who 'likes to look afta hiz boyz', was on Celebrity Big Brother. Germaine Greer called him a 'genius'. What happened to them? Did anyone ever really care about them other than the marketing department?
That's easy
What happened was that Germaine Greer called him a genius.
almost heartbreaking...
Here is the full extent of his washed-upness:
http://www.kenzie.co.uk/index.html
It amazes me
how these has-beens can go on making such a good living. Andy Scott Lee, who was Hear'Say reject, seems to be doing nicely for himself on OK magazine and ITV2 'documentaries' together with his other half her that used to be in Liberty X. He's never had any kind of hit record that I know of. Do these people still get money from record companies as if they somehow continue to be considered 'popstars'? And if so, why?
Ex So Solid Crew members crop up on all sorts of reality TV trash shows - The Games, Come Dine With Me (Harvey 'cooking' a sweet of shop bought flan and tinned peaches for Lyndsey De Paul)? It's like this endless build up of human 'celebrity' litter/landfill clogging up TV more and more.
That's because there are only 157 people
in the UK who AREN'T ex So Solid Crew members. Or in jail.