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When Less is More

Ahh_Bisto's picture

Spare a thought for Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be €1 please, Mr. O’Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman, "and we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6pm until 8pm. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland. "

"That is remarkable value" Michael comments.

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be €3 please."

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra €2. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you €1. I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please?"

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "nobody would fit in that little frame."

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame, you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4 for your seat sir."

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up.

"I see that you have brought your laptop with you," added the barman, "and since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another €3."

O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager."

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be €2 please."

O'Leary's face was red with rage!

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary."

"I've had enough, What sort of hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 and 9.10 every Monday or Tuesday morning at this phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cents per second."

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for €1".

21

Nicely done, Bisto.

I once shared my own theories here on the blog about the genesis of Mr O'Leary: http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/pound

0
drakeygirl | 23 January 2012 - 8:20pm

Arrrrgh

I should have used the

.

Nowt to do with me, an email from my Catholic priest cousin in Ireland.
I just thought it was so beautifully put together, with the comedic beat of the last line rather wonderful.

0
Ahh_Bisto | 23 January 2012 - 10:51pm

I agree ryanair can

be unpleasant to deal with and the penny grabbing is wearying but them and easyjet have completely transformed air travel for the better.

I can leave.my house in prestwick, walk to the airport and have my lunch in Lucca. Usually for around fifty quid. I can forgive a lot for that.

1
goatboyuk69 | 23 January 2012 - 9:04pm

Chatting up an air hostess

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides, because she's got the uniform on, she must be an off- duty air hostess.

So he decides to have a go at chatting her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto:- 'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:- 'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:- 'Going beyond expectations'.
The woman looks at him sternly and says:- 'What the f**k do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. - "Ryanair".

2
AlinCumbria | 23 January 2012 - 11:21pm

Tried

to recently book flights with Ryanair ex Manchester to Mallorca. The timings were good and comparing like for like (with bags etc) were cheaper than the likes of monarch and Jet2. Although we ended not booking with Ryanair as it kept crashing when we didn't select their own travel insurance! I rang them and they said it was a problem with my browser. ie. their site apparently didn't work with Chrome? what's Internet Explorer anyone?

I fondly remember the days when air travel was something to look forward to. Excited to see what new technology was going to be bestowed upon us each year. Multi channel music radios, then films! With free nuts and all the coke an 8 year old can drink in 2 hours!

I still like flying, but rather sail on a ferry reading a paper, having a pint. (in my dreams or when kids are older)

0
Malbec | 24 January 2012 - 3:24pm
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