Entertainment For Lively Minds
When the going gets tough, the tough play Messy Desk!
- Nothing that might reasonably be expected to be there (speakers, printer, cables, etc.).
- What's of most interest is the totally indefensible, embarrassing or puzzling. Extra points for all three.
- If your desk is really messy, like mine, report only the first ten extraneous items you find.
OK, here we go:
1. 2 x white-chocolate Oreo wrappers
2. Two-inch-diameter circular piece of glass (huh?)
3. Glasses case (not mine, but it'll do nicely; mine's gone missing)
4. Glossary of Nautical Terms, vol. 2
5. DVD case of Zhang Yimou's Hero, empty
6. Plastic tube containing reproduction Ottoman calligraphy scroll
7. Magnifying glass, lensless (that's No. 2 solved then)
8. 4 x dessicated bougainvillea petals, formerly pink
9. Battery-powered jumper-fluff razor, made in China
10. UK passport, expired 13 October 1998
- More from Archie Valparaiso.
- Login or register to post comments











It's the new, exciting game that's sweeping the nation
1) Nearly empty box of Oatibix Bites (other breakfast cereals are available)
2) Nearly empty bottle of Ribena light (other blackcurrant drinks etc...)
3) An empty tupperware container that previously contained fresh strawberries
4) A miniature Thomas the Tank Engine
5) iPhone and charger
6) A Procrastinator's Calendar (today's dilemma - Which colour would you remove from the rainbow: green or indigo?)
7) Pile of new compensation forms to reclaim for late train journeys
8) A book of railway diagrams for the East of England (no judging please, it's purely work-related)
9) Another desk calendar
10) Some bundled-up headphones
I keep a clean desk
1) A Buddha Machine
That's it. Everything else is work-related. And no clutter.
If you're interested
One large fan
A pile of back issues of the magazines I work on
A copy of this month's Mojo (the Pete Townsend one)
An Emmerdale beermat
An X Factor mug
A bottle of cava
A Grosvenor House coaster
A Harry Hill snowglobe
An ipod
An apple
Ready, Steady, Go by Sean Levy
A yet to posted Mother's Day card
An invite to Sky One's Skellig
A bottle of Covonia chesty cough mixture
A Heartbeat mug full of pens
A Sky Sports stressbuster rugby ball
A John Wayne knife (limited edition)
Cava + Covonia
Hell's cocktail just waiting to happen.
A set of steak knives
14 bottles of Jack Daniels, Manual for Bobst 142CER, A Golliwog, A mug with 'Worlds Biggest Cunt' printed on it, approx 3,000 raffle tickets, a copy of Underground Manchester: Secrets of the City Revealed by Keith Warrender, a copy of Leeds United - The Glory Years 1965-1975 on VHS, 1 large safety pin for a childs nappy.
All work and no play
David
You need to get your Cover Art sorted.
That's all.
My other half's desk
Glancing over at my other half's desk I can see.............
Empty wine bag
GMB Fusion magazine (unopened)
Button
Pedometer
Umbrella
Empty perfume box
Next Directory Card - I have never seen a Next Directory in the house
Well, it's a mess...
... but pretty much all work stuff (suppose it should be as I'm at the office now).
Of the detritus that shouldn't really be there...
Pack of 3 golf balls
Recipe for Basil Gnocchi with Tomato & Wild Rocket Sauce
Two sachets of sugar taken from a KFC about a month ago
Little tub of iron tablets
Photo of my friends and I at our Graduation Ball
At work
so other than various documents spread out on my desk
satsuma
clanger that makes a clanger noise if you squeeze him
pot of paracetamol
2 plastic knives
neutragena hand cream
photo of eldest son and 2 photos of twins at about 3 months
thats about it (but don't make the brevity of the list suggest a tidy desk)
It's whats under the surface that you should worry about
I'm at work and I reckon that just about everything on my very messy desk will get used some time today. Don't ask me for a guided tour of my desk drawers though!!
Excluding work related items ....
An apple.
I tidied up yesterday.
Although on the floor in the corner is a large portrait of Phil Lynott signed by his mother. Does that help?
Right now, my desk at work consists mostly of...
1)4 neatly folded QPR club shop bags and 1 unfolded one.
2)A QPR ticket stub (v Carlise, League Cup 2008, won 4-0)
3)A tour date list for a CSNY/Byrds tribut band, 2008.
4)Kick up the R's (QPR fanzine, from last night)
5)Mauritius guide book from libaray (getting married next week)
6)A rail ticket stub from olympis to Watford junction from November (lost 3-0)
7)A ball of foil made up of lots different balls of foil from the sandwhiches my wife to soon be makes. Since October.
8)A Beatles stamp.
Great game
although, dammit, I've just had a clear up so it's not too bad
1) blue cup from my daughter's tea set
2) photo of my dad's ashes exploding beautifully (his last request was his ashes be made into a firework)
3) too many CDs waiting patiently to be burnt
4) sentimental yellow screwdriver
5) picture of my lovely husband
Sorry Hannah - but can I be nosey?
What is it that is sentimental about a screwdriver - yellow or otherwise?
No worries if you don't want to tell.
PS: Lovely thing you did for your dad. I could happily shuffle off in the same way.
Actually that's not the whole story
He wanted half his ashes made in fireworks and launched to the Captain Pugwash theme tune - done. (And highly recommended! Very splendid send-off!)
He wanted the other half of his ashes sprinkled into an air-conditioning intake duct at a tax office. I have no idea how to achieve this (or even if I want to).
The sentimental screwdriver is also Dad related... he used to work with wood, and generally had it to hand. Makes me think of him and smile whenever I see it. (Plus it's always useful to have a screwdriver to hand)
Hannah that's lovely - thanks.
I'm not even going to ask about Captain Pugwash!
Marvellous.
Take care
Paul
Pretty tidy for a change....
Evo Stick wood adhesive.
Screwdriver.
Long nosed pliers x 2. (I'm supposed to be fixing a loo seat and a couple of kitchen chairs but it's going to have to wait till tomorrow).
Half a dozen cd-r's with "Lost" on them (my wife's request).
The Essential Jimi Hendrix Vol 2 on pre-recorded cassette.
Lyle Lovett tickets for tonights show!!!
Magnifying glass.
Road Tax reminder.
Council Tax reminder.
Golf Club membership sticker.
Tidier than usual but still...
1 - pocket diary 2005
2 - Smiths bootleg CD "Thank Your Lucky Stars" (LA, 26-08-86)
3 - half a Star Bar (in wrapper)
4 - bottle of blowing bubbles
5 - Drum kit floor tom leg attachment (broken)
6 - Electronic sudoku game (broken)
7 - Tesco receipt (dated 24/12/08)
8 - tea spoon
9 - small spring (possibly from inside a pen)
10 - Controller for the Christmas lights (still on the wall)
This is great....
1. 4 Tottenham Hotspur home programmes
2. Inflatable chair (in packaging)
3. Mr Teeny (Krusty's Chimp from the Simpsons)
4. 3 Thank you cards
5. Couple of charitable requests
6. QPR Season ticket renewal forms
7. Classic House Mastercuts CD box and packaging (whereabouts of actual CD unknown)
8. Car keys
9. Signed photo of Roman Pavlyuchenko
10. Autoglass replacement windscreen receipt
At work so it's dullsville
A fruit flapjack
A bottle of Evian (filled from tap)
A coffee mug with our logo on it
A pad of post-its
A copy of our 'Digest' handout
A photo of my daughter looking very cheeky
A box of bulldog clips
A Helix Shatterproof ruler
2 Parker 45 fountain pens (one with blue ink, the other with red. I hate biros)
A stapler
A large hardback A4 pad
A diary
A desk calculator ('How many desks Barrons? One, sir!)
A personal development plan
A copy of 'The Elements of Style' by Strunk and White.
A telephone
Some service trend analysis graphs. (I wish I knew what I was meant to do with them)
there's nothing dull about fruit flapjacks
and dove farm make a particularly fine apple and sultana variety. that is all.
I've eaten it.
And very nice it was too.
Mind it needed to be - I got it from Costa Coffee and was therefore the same price of a gold ingot the same size.
it's really messy at the moment
I'm at work, in room L5
1. A book about Jazz
2. A pot of coffee
3. A Bob Dylan mug from which to drink aforesaid coffee
3. "Into the West" DVD box set
4. Darth Tater
5. A plastic Viking Helmet
6. A pile of books about the peasant's revolt
7. Loads of misc. papers
And now to tidy it
Ooh, Let's Have A Look...
Diana Jones cd, newly arrived, not yet played
Empty Extramints tin
Clothes brush
Travel size Plax
European 2-pin phone charger
Eye mask
Notebook listing all my 45's (see thread on 1st 45 bought)
Second reminder to renew my Word subscription
Books on Costa Rica & Panama
American Horticultural Society Paperweight, used to stop the speaker cable falling down the back of the desk when I unplug it from my laptop.
Usual - tin full of pens that don't write, empty coffee mug, paperclips, thin layer of dust on everything.
Well...
A replica Civil War cannon (approximately two inches long)
A Danny and the Champions of the World badge
A souvenir/thank you Labour Party paperweight (unused)
Two coasters, one red and tellow stripey glass, one made from an old circuit board (also unused, as evidenced by the rings on the desk)
More CDs and PR sheets than is reasonable, even by my flexible standards
Two penguin bookends, being used as CDends
A planting plan for my vegetable patch
Lots of dust
Quite neat here
As its 11pm at night here, it'll be my home office desk......
Just got a brand spanking new iMac 24" at home so its al nice and tidy....
- aforementioned iMac
- MacBook Pro doing some work related stuff whilst (doing budgets whilst installing a new toy is not recommended !).
- Wireless Mouse
- Scanner, stuffed full on bills/statements / documents waiting to be scanned
- Time Capsule
- iPhone
- bunch of keys containing the RSA security tag for work VPN
- empty mug (previously containing Starbucks Guatemala coffee)
- Phone (just finished conference call)
Hey! Teacher! Leave that desk alone.
I'm sitting by the side of my desk in my classroom. I can't sit at it, because it's disgracefully messy, as my pupils keep reminding me.
Here is a selection of the top layer of clutter:
* A life size paper cut-out of Robert Wadlow, the tallest person who ever lived. His head's come off, so he's a little shorter now.
* A life size paper cut-out of the longest snake ever recorded.
* A life-size paper cut-out of the bird with the largest wingspan (albatross).
* A life-size paper cut-out of the world's largest cucumber.
* A plastic bag containing lots of Irish music CD's - obvious stuff - Pogues, Dubliners etc.
* A shoulder pad for a violin.
* A VHS video entitled "Jesus".
* Two DVD's - "Jason and the Argonauts" and "Clash of the Titans".
* A dead cactus.
* An unidentifiable plastic thing that I confiscated.
all work stuff except a Cornish flag stuck to computer
can i ask are oreo's good ?
On leave at the moment
so I'm sitting in the hallway of Mrs Phil's Mum's gaff in front of a rather nice iMac (I'm slowly getting converted). Not messy at all.
1. iMac
2. Keyboard
3. Mouse
4. 1 envelope
5. Half empty wine glass (mine)
How I long for chaos.
Taken earlier
Now contains empty mug & second Grumpy mug on the right (out of view). Oh and Mr Maconie's High Teas book. Kaiser Chiefs CD still unplayed. Bomus points for naming the 2 characters on the shelf to the right of monitor.
Beany - just a suggestion...
Keep it unplayed mate.
Yours are all more interesting than mine.
Packet of ipod screen protectors.
Unplayed Melody Gardot album (I'll get round to it).
A Clothes Peg??????????
Down And Dirty - A Rugby League Blogging Year.
The case to the front bit of a car stereo and the car got written off 18 months ago.
4gb usb.
Nasonex Nose Spray
A Screw
Half A Lynx Dry Gift Set (more detail? - the shower gel)from Christmas.
Hope And Glory DVD Box Set?????
I'll give $1000.00 to anyone who can prove they have the same
stuff as me.
1/ Menu for Newport Pizza
2/ Book - Learn Russian Script by Daphne West
3/ cds, many many cds, all out of their covers
4/ Monopoly Game Card from the Melbourne Herald Sun. It's rigged!
5/ Sunscreen bottle
6/ Book - Rough Guide to Cult Movies. Cover ripped off
7/ Near empty box of 200 blank TDK cds
8/ Mastercard Statement. I can't possibly owe that much!
9/ Hand Towel
10/ Pens, many pens
Pens, many pens
That'll be $100.00.
Eyethangeuw
Oh Bugger!
Actually if I had read the original post more closely I would have remembered that Archie specifically said "Nothing that might reasonably be expected" should be counted.
That means I should not have included
3/ Cds
7/ Blank cds
10/ Pens
That alone counterfeits your claim. Sorry they're the rules.
Instead I should have mentioned
Broken dog leash
Lightbulb
Insert from double LP "Hard to Beat"
Plain white face mask
parcel tape
staple gun
thing (from fantastic four) head shaped plastic mug
doll's head
drawing of a sausage (with legs)
4 knives with retractable blades
plastic dinosaur
banana
5 pairs of plastic legs
about 20 plastic spiders
2 Jon Burgerman figures
1 indigestion tablet
sachet of Thai curry soup powder
some wire
Are you by any chance
a cannibalistic serial killer? (The indigestion tablet gave it away!)
Indigestion tablets also, and
A pear with an amusingly buttocks-shaped aspect
A shell from a beach in Cork
A 500g scales weight with a little woolly hat on it
A blown pigeon's egg
A toothpick
A 16mm diameter threaded bolt & nut, also wearing a woolly hat
A copy of Tristram Shandy (1903 edition)
hmm
A few empty iced tea bottles
USB controlled missile launcher
Samsung P2 MP3 player
A fairly large collection of Microstars footballers (about 20 I think, but only players I don't really care about. The good ones are at home, and the bad ones are tortured to death in various ways)
My jacket
It's mostly CDs
Plus
Disney rubber coasters
2 Beechams All In One measuring cups
A green plastic wind-up aeroplane
A well-thumbed copy of Troublesome Words by Bill Bryson
A dictionary/thesaurus set
Tampa Bay Buccaneers plastic cup, containing petrol receipts
A golf ball
A wooden grey collapsable elephant
A jar of Tesco Value Marmalade
Magnetic sticker for Nando's in Sydney