Any meeting when someone says "where do we go from here ?", I always want to chip in with "is it down to the lake I fear ?"

...I'm too embarrassed to ask for help.
(Sorry, having an overly quiet morning, everyone must be on holiday)

I managed to slip "I told him several times that I didn't like his kind cause he's a bit too leisurely" into a conversation the other day in reference to someone who required a few ass kickings to make him run right, to paraphrase Mo Green.

called Joe. I have to make a conscious effort to greet him with "Hello", "Good morning", "Alright" etc; because to say "Hey Joe" would put the Hendrix song on my internal jukebox all morning. Which isn't neccesarily a bad thing but could be seen as a pavlovian response which I cannot control.

I find myself fighting the urge (and often failing) to follwo up anyone who say's something is "quite unique" with "one cannot have gradations of uniqueness. One is either unique or not unique" courtesy of Alan Partridge. And it's amazing how many times people say "quite unique".

Whenever I hear someone say “we’re on our way” (and it’s a phrase that crops up a fair bit) my warped brain automatically throws up “we are Ron’s 22”. It’s from the England 1982 World Cup song “This Time (We’ll Get It Right)”, one of the worst football songs ever, but nevertheless permanently lodged in my consciousness. I hate Duran Duran but I always say “I’m like the wolf” when I’m hungry. Most shouting-at-the-telly sessions involve use of the phrase “television man is crazy” from All The Young Dudes, directed at whoever is talking guff. It’s all a bit pathetic really.

Since the summer of '82, if anyone ever says the words "We're on our way" I have been compelled by some natural force to say aloud in response, "We are Ron's twenty-two".
Blank faces often ensue.

GOOD GRIEF, RICHARD!! That is the most bizarre bit of synchronicity I've ever experienced! Posted at exactly the same time (I spent some time getting the Youtube clip). Yikes!

create a Pavlovian reaction when BBC Breakfast have a piece from their US correspondent.
She signs off: 'Jane Hughes, BBC News'
and I feel compelled to respond: 'Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb'.

...and I never fail to be amused by their casual indifference upon our meeting to "Hey, hey - it's The Mentees!". Bloody three year-olds, no sense of occasion.

My chum Kilbey still rues the day he was at work and a girl screamed "There's ants in the carpet!", to which he replied, not unreasonably, "Dirty little monsters!".

And if anyone can advise me how I can hotwire my PC to play the line "Inside, I'm shutting down" from The Bible's 'Graceland' when it gets turned off, that would certainly clear space in my head for a different earworm.

That's what it was like.

She was showing herself around her new domain.

I was with three or four people around a cubicle, we were wondering who she was. She walked up to us and said "I'll be filling in for Geoff, I'm Mary-Lou"

Of course I blurted out, "Well hello Mary-Lou......goodbye heart."

She was not impressed. I can't imagine how many times she would have heard that.

She hated me, I don't know why, all I did was instantly destroy her authority with one thoughtless comment.

My defence now would be "I'm an entertainer" but back then all I said was "They should have warned us, how often do you meet someone called "Mary-Lou"?"

I know I'd gone 30 odd years without doing so. It was my only chance and I took it.

That's what I hear when I see any chap that's turned himself the colour of a Caribbean sunset.

"Is she really going out with him?" crops up in my life with depressing frequency these days.