Wrote a Memo, by hand on a special pad. Put memo in a special folder and send it up to 'The Typing Pool'. Sometime in the next couple of working days, providing there were no errors (which would either be tippexed out or would have to go back to the typists for re-typing) I would get 10 copies of said memo back from the typing pool with circulation list, put in envelopes and send to people on the list by putting in a postbag. Person with trolley collects the post bag delivers post to recipients in different part of the building the next morning. We were a bit slow to adopt e-mail so it's only in the last 12-13 years I would have done this.

Firstly, I'll never hitchhike again, which saddens me because I met some fantastic people and had some great adventures. Secondly I'll never go to a record shop on the release date of a single I've been waiting for and then hurry home and dance to it in my bedroom. That saddens me even more.

But overall, the smoking bans are a good thing. Fair enough.

Yet occasionally a disapproving pedestrian from the other side of the road will treat me to some theatrical wafting and coughing. Oh stop it, you uptight fool.

I kid myself that I'll immerse myself in the dark waters of Ogof Ffynnon Ddu, or have a splendid time doing the Swildons round trip in reverse, but part of me knows that the faithful old led acid lamp will remain uncharged, the knee-holed wetsuit, now more glue than neoprene will remain on its hanger, the trusty helmet, faintly visible name painted in poor gothic script by the sixteen year old me, un-donned.

Depressed now.

Find out the time of a favourite programme & set the VHS to record it.

I don't miss that, though.

The other one is - record music in a studio - GarageBand has put paid to that. That, I do miss. With the right peole it is a great communal experience.

I bought my last pair of 30" waist drainpipe jeans 20 years ago. Probably just as well. I've eaten a lot of biscuits since then.

I doubt I'll ever go to Glastonbury again,too corporate and camping is a bugger on my arthritic hip nowadays.Never again will the mosh pit witness me slamdancing through a set.I still wear 32 inch kecks though. Oh,and running a comb through my hair is a very distant memory indeed.

Unfortunately pubs and the odd gig with the old man are never to be. Very fond memories though.

Because the GLW has taken against all new technology the only downstairs phone we have is an ancient rotary dial instrument (with accompanying crackle). This now takes so long to dial that I forget the number while I'm dialling it. I therefore now insist that the wife places calls for me. If she wants the bloody thing, she can use it. I'm working on getting her to say "I've got Mr Hepworth for you." Will keep you posted on that.

Hearing the sound of a modem, connecting to the internet. I last heard this on 14th May 2004, but didn't realize it at the time.

... Masterchef.

...as my new (second hand) car has a cassette deck.
I haven't faxed anything since 2006 I reckon.

into Lillie's Bordello, a well known night club in Dublin, last Saturday night. I won't be doing that again.

"Here is your seat. For the next 10 hours." No thanks. Fear of flying? Fear of excruciating boredom more like. At least now instead of going anywhere I can just look it up on't Net.

and then be disappointed at blurred / overexposed / crap photos that I had been excited to see......

Since having a son, my wife and I have decided diving with Oceanic White Tips (certainly together) may not be the thing for responsible parents to do.

Hell, possibly even "play a gig". The thing about being in bands is that a lot, a LOT of people who play in bands are wankers. There's a high concentration of egomania, pathological unreliability and bad musicianship out there, and I'm not saying I'm immune. Either way, being in a band is more of a pain in the arse than a pleasure now. Sigh.

winked back at a girl who fancied me... its been a while

I will make my last use of the weekly bus ticket I buy for my work commute each weekday between Whitby and Scarborough. On Saturday I will finally collect my first car after passing my driving test a mere 19 days ago. I was 40 yesterday.

I used to love it as a child. So much nicer than Lemonade, I thought.

Bought a bottle from Sainsbury's a short while ago out of nostalgic curiousity. Great Googly-Moogly! It's liquid sweetness. It feels like a ball of soggy sugar swilling round your mouth.

I shall refrain from sampling Tizer or Dandelion and Burdock for the same reasons lest my world crumbles beneath me.

I have joined loads of gyms. They don't work, I am still vast. They are also expensive, smelly, crowded, embarrassing and boring.

However, I am now becoming slightly less humungous by walking a lot and listening to Word podcasts on the ipod.

it dawned on me that I'm unlikely to ever play in a football match again - as in 11 v 11 with a proper ref, or, at the very least, a PE teacher with a policeman's whistle.

And the way my love-life's going, I'm tempted to add 'make love to a woman' to the list.

I'll turn out for the occasional Sunday 3rd's cricket match or get back between the sticks for a veterans football match but I will never again feel that adrenaline rush as you prepare for a match where the result matters. What's worse is I gave up too soon thinking "I'll get around to that again", bugger!

All the landmark moments with your kids, first word, first step etc..

Music will never matter as much again The Jam "Going Underground" was the zenith. I will never want a song to make number 1 so much again.

In case the wife reads this, I will never again have that feeling in the pit of my stomach about a girl that you like and you know likes you.

I could go on but I need to save something for my therapist.

These guilty feet have got no rhythm.

Boom boom!

...I was feeling pretty good today, then I started reading this thread.

Come on chaps, there's still time.

No ney never again

It's not as nice as it looks.

If I am lucky.

Lighten up, gang. :-)
I might be mid-40s but I still do quite a few of these things e'en now!

Rotary telephone - Check (coz I like it)
VHS Video Recorder - check (used it last nite)
Check TV Schedules to find interesting program & set video - Check (I'm out a lot)
Still have size 32 waist - Check (thanks to regular exercise and sensible diet, not thanks to liking decent beer)
Still buy vinyl records - Yep

However...

Followed the Top 40 Pop Parade with any interest - ugh, no, not since 1980
Danced/stayed awake all night in nightclubs, possibly with the aid of certain "exhilarants" - Unlikely to do this again
Glastonbury - Once, in 1990, won't be going again
Floppy disks - Dont miss those
Cassette tapes - Dont miss those either (altho still have machine)
Smoking cigs, either tobacco or jazz - Gave both up some yrs back

etcc....

...that I will ever have cause to buy a postal order. Even if there were something I needed to clip a coupon out of the back of a music magazine in order to purchase, having remembered to include a self-addressed envelope.

..and woken up in hospital or a police cell (I hope).

It seems incredibly unlikely.

The days of grubby, handed-around mags must surely have gone.

I had the snip a year ago, and I think I would have noticed by now if it hadn't worked.

Also - reading Q. My collection is in the process of being recycled.

Still use floppy disks, though. Not by choice - an ancient piece of test gear I use has no other option, and it won't get replaced until it dies because the replacement cost is about the same as your average BMW.

Oh, hang on...

at least a decade.

Can't see that changing either.

Had to have him put to sleep last week as old age, dodgy eyes, arthritis and a kidney problem were getting the better of him. RIP Paddy.

I take it that a great many of this constituency once (or presently?) served the public at a record retailer. In my time, I worked for Taz Records (still going stong, thank goodness), Sam the Record Man (long gone), Chapters (still at it, under different ownership), the Virgin Megastore (hastily withdrawn from North America), and HMV (still at it, but a bit music-phobic).

Even if I wanted to go back, they are an endangered species here. Still, I often had a great time, snagged more discs and gigs than I would have otherwise, worked with some nice folks (with some profound exceptions), dealt with a lot of decent music lovers, too.

See a Premiership football match.

Going to a travel agent - quite happy about that.

Queue up in Post Office for road tax licence - thank Christ.

Get excited about what might be on TOTP - sadly.

I can now: Balance my two grandchildren on either knee.
Take my son out for a beer and a ruby.
Go on holiday abroad three times a year without spending months saving up for just one week.
Take life less seriously.
Appreciate what I have, and not strive for more.
I'm sure there's more....

Apart from infrequent over 35s gaelic and U9s coaching, I have no need of a new pair of football boots after the ones I bought last week.
The last pair are, fittingly, overly flash and advanced pieces of footwear technology for a man of my age and increasingly limited talents.

go to another music festival after this year's 'Download'.
Just booked tickets, hotel & train - oh yes, people, no slumming it on the campsite for us!
I am now starting to worry about whether the old back & knees can cope with so much standing about - REALLY don't wanna be one of those 'mature' festival-goers who carries a fold-up chair around with them.
Should I pretend I'm disabled and go in a wheelchair?

seconds after chopping a chili. I'm definitely never doing THAT again.

Reply to the wrong post.

My mum was darning a sock the other day. Does anyone under 60 do that these days?

Although it is tricky to draw a biro circle around your room in the photo of the Hotel Del Dos Paradisos in C'an Picafort you've just taken to send as a picture message to all of your friends.

The missus suggested it for Easter and I immediately thought no, that's not going to be happening. I was hopeless at it, never liked it and now enough is enough.

"do you remember the first time" for the last time

Having just put lots of CDs off the shelves and into crates under the bed.

check out Michael Bywater's wonderful "Lost Worlds", see amazon.com for a look inside preview and this nice capsule description:

Works of art disappear, species are extinguished, books are lost, cities drown, things once thought immortal suddenly aren’t there at all. Whole libraries of knowledge, and whole galleries of secrets are gone. Our culture, our knowledge, and all our lives are shadows cast by what went before. We are defined, not by what we have, but by what we have lost along the way. Lost Worlds is a glossary of the missing, a cabinet of absent curiosities. No mere miscellany, it weaves a web of everything we no longer have.

work for someone else in such a capacity as receptionist, shop assistant, bar staff etc. and spend much of my time on unpleasant "ad-hoc" duties - making loads of tea (and the washing up involved), cleaning the floor/windows/toilet, climbing into the cellar to take meter readings, redecorating, moving furniture etc. etc. Usually because we were not busy enough to just do one job.

I hope I'm never employed by someone else, full stop, in fact.

Can't see myself having sex again, way things are...

That is to say, on account of the fact that we've had kids, and neither of us have any energy or time left to spend with each other. I'm probably not alone on this one...

Um, maybe I oughtn't to admit that on a public forum :)

...to the appalling Wembley Arena. I swore for years that this time was going to be the last time, but now there's no doubt. Never again, and I'll chuck in Earl's Court as well.

I can't think of a single thing that would tempt me. It has been a happy release ignoring pre-season friendliest and even more so, England friendlies. Have done this for ten years and can heartily recommend it!

I still sometimes mistakenly give mine to the assistant at the supermarket checkout; then, they give it back to me with the chip and PIN device and look slightly sympathetic at my remembrance of old fashioned ways.

The new Yellow Pages has just arrived and it took a while for me to find out where "we" keep it so I could chuck the old one out. I really can't remember when I last consulted one and can't see why I might need to in the future. The same goes with the normal phone book, it must be at least 5 years since I last looked a number up in one.

liked this elegy for Ceefax

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/65b12d22-4406-11df-9235-00144feab49a.html

Vote Lib Dem?

Not had either delivered to our house for over 10 years.

How's that for customer service!