The laughter never pauses round my house...

of khazi.

and called it.......the toilet.

The TV remote control, however, we called the doofydoo.

..... cludgie !

Loo or Lavatory is meant to be "U", but Toilet is "non-U", for what that's worth...

so for the most part it's the toilet. But sometimes when the mood takes me it's the shunkie (or should that be a "y" ?).

My parents caller it the loo. Chez nous, being more European these days it can be called the pissoir.

My parents caller it the loo. Chez nous, being more European these days it can be called the pissoir.

... but nowadays I prefer 'the thunderbox'.

Don't the Irish say 'the jacks'?

though in my youth Grandpa Fox used to refer to it as "The Crapper". He had spent his working life as a tug-boatman, which is where he had picked up lots of delightful euphemisms, not all of which met with Grandma Fox's approval.

calls it 'the Boggery' I tend to think of it as 'The Reading Room'

We called it the toilet but it's possibly more interesting what others perception is of what it should be called. I think calling it a loo is unbeliveably pretentious and calling it a lav or lavvy is "common". Obviously that's not the "pecking order" that others use. I would place bog at the bottom of the list and lavatory at the top.

or .. the bog.

Though I had to go 'bathroom' with a flat 'a' in the US to avoid conversations with New Yorkers about the Beatles and Monty Python.

I thought 'loo' was 'u' and 'lav' was very 'non-u' almost a trick by the posh to catch out wannabe poshters.

Being very working class we also said 'settee' not 'sofa' and 'living room' not 'lounge'- I still do today and raise an eyebrow when anyone uses the other terms. Inverted snobbery I think it's called - airs and graces for being born in a barn ..

has TMFTL written all over it.

In my previous working life, the phrase "if anyone would like to make themselves comfortable" was used in meetings to indicate a break and for use of facilities.

it was always the Doughnut in Granny's Greenhouse.

The Jacks.

Where he went to "do some paperwork"

But Dad was a Navy man.

It was the bog in our house.

Whenever I think of my dear old mum, I can hear her saying "ah'm off to t'bog".

Morning were a different matter. No announcement was necessary; she'd go to the toilet with no fanfare, and wake me up with a very long, high-pitched fart. Thin walls.

It took me a long time, well into my adulthood, to realise that not all parents announce when they are going to the toilet, and not all women fart first thing in the morning.

.or, alternatively,... 'to see a friend off to the coast' ...

('I'd give it 5 minutes if I was you' ...

.

I grew up a long time ago.

My favourite Blackadder quote: she goes like the privy door when the plague comes down

I was brought up in central Scotland, and we always called it the bathroom. We used some other expressions, none of which come to mind right now, that seem to be regarded as recently intruded 'Americanisms', but I am absolutely certain there was little or no American influence in the household - US tv shows were generally switched off.

My mate, a pseudo Australian after spending a few months there, calls it the Dunny.

It is 'The heads'.

To have a slash, or to 'snap one off'.

I know, too much information.

Sorry

Does no-one else distinguish according to location (if you are blessed with choice in your house)?

I have the Boiler Bog, Kitchen Khazi (next door, not actually in the kitchen, you understand) and the Dunny, Australian ancestry coming through.

... but once I'm seated and sending a sausage to the seaside my head is instantly filled with a Magazine tune called 'The Light Pours Out Of Me.'

We most commonly refer to a toilet as a toilet but they are variously known as dunnies, brascos and shithouses. Sturdily-built gentlemen being described as being built like a brick shithouse.

I had an ex-girlfriend who was asked by her flatmate (a bloke) to buy a few items for the house, as he was expecting a visit from his mum and didn't have time.

Among the items on his shopping list was "date roll". She spent quite some time trawling the pastry section of the supermarket, convinced he was after some delectable sweet treat for his mother, before she gave up and came home without that particular item.

Of course, she now knows that "date roll" is in fact toilet paper - a date being the euphemism of choice for arsehole.

"The Loo" at home.
The Bog" at school and work.
"The Heads" in the Navy.
"the Netty" as used by Angela Airey (Giant-sized Geordie girl at my school)
"The Can" as used by Mrs Crout.

Great joke in National Lampoon's European Vacation.

Stewardess "Coca Cola ,sir"
Clark Griswold "Yes Please"
Stewardess (Holding a can and plastic cup) "In the can"
Clark Griswold "No thanks,I'll drink it here"

to the powder room.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

Up in the mountains of the Costa Verde in Corsica. And in one of the villages, perched on the precipitous slopes, one of the residences had what could be described in many ways, but I will choose, an excremental outhouse. Made from corrugated iron. Perched above a long drop. I was going to take some pictures but the locals were looking at me funny.

that's a record, surely. I don't dare try to delete them in case they start multiplying further.

Drug testing for Lenny methinks.

Even though we havn't had a chain to pull for over 40 years.

We called it the WC (water closet) as we had an outside crap house when I was a kid. Torn up squares of newspaper threaded onto a string with a nail tied at the end, to wipe your arse on. Full of spiders and pretty scary after dark!

Street Legal; 2nd song: 'I had a pony'.

It was during his all-bran period.

We are now officially talking shite on this board

Parking my breakfast

Hanging my arse over water

Laying one.

Change my shoes

who used to think that I was very crude if I said "I'll have to lay a cable" (in Swedish, well Stockholm slang at least, this means...well you can probably guess for yourselves) I often say that I am going to "drink a beer".
In Stockholm slang (again) this is called "klämma en bärs". My mum is Norwegian and though the two languages are very similar, this expression can be interpreted as "hug a turd" in Norwegian, which always makes my mum giggle like a schoolgirl when I use it.
She still thinks I'm crude, but she can't help laughing.

...it is considered correct protocol when one is in licensed premises and needs to use the facilities to ease the pressure on one's bladder; to explain the excursion with the image-rich phrase:

"I'm off to splash me toes"

Used at formal functions.

After ther the loyal toast.

"You may ease springs"

My understanding is that the Queen would take no offence at all at the word toilet. Euphemise it though, and she will mark you down as a nouveau riche oik.

if yr bustin you go to the netty

to change the telly you use the puggy

[and who put the ball in the mackems' net? oh ryan! oh ryan! - sorry...]

The phrase my mother always used and I've never heard since. Related to The Big Yin's jobbies?

Source of much sniggering over the years... "Andy Murray has a big job on his hands to rescue this game..."

We go to the bog!