what a steaming pile of ****
Dark City wasn't much better

A complete load of utter toss!

I bloody hated it. 2½ hours of my life that I'll never get back.

It was obvious to me that Sean Penn wanted his film to be considered as a profound work of art. He was so desperate that it should be viewed as such that he laid on the symbolism with a trowel. It felt laboured, contrived and manipulative. A complete and utter waste of time.

I borrowed it off a friend who insisted it was "one of the best films ever made."

My reaction was so overwhelmingly negative that he's never seen fit to lend me another, or even discuss films with me.

There are endless, I mean endless, close-up shots of the crotches of the very young cast, so much so I actually felt embarrassed for them. It's the only film I have ever suspected was directed by a dog with a camera on his collar. A very friendly pup he is too!

It's rated a healthy 7/10 on IMDB so maybe it's just me.

Long and shit. A very bad combination.

Yes, Clint is old and grumpy (but with a kind heart deep down inside) and makes his own law when the actual law won´t do. He even does the sit-in-a-badly-lit-room-with-half-his-face-in-the-shadows-scene. Is it supposed to be a metaphor for something? Grump is bad, is that the lesson?

Great as comedy though. The Pythons wouldn´t have done it better.

Kidding!

I could unleash a power of bile upon you?

being 50 and keen on bollocks does that to a man

tedious - unenlightening - praised to the heavens by the crits.

A few good moments courtesy of Bill Murray's rubbery lugubriousness and Scarlett J's luminescent beauty but...

See also Broken Flowers

was projecting so had to sit through all of it....nooooooooooooo.

Prizzi's Honour - couldn't be bothered after about 1/2 hour.

Sorry, love the Coens other work, but this was a chore to get through. A philosophy of the well fed, is what sprang to mind.

Doomsday, on the other hand, sounds like just the job for a Friday night with a few tinnies.

I still remember the first one I walked out of: "Jubilee" by Derek Jarman. Since then lowlights have included "The Long Day Closes" and "The Cook, the Thief, his Wife and Her Lover". The one that was impossible to slip away from was "Life is Beautiful" (the happy holocaust best Foreign film Oscar winner of a few years ago) a). because I'd invited friends and b). because the dreaded Roberto Benigni was supposed to be there. He wasn't. It was all I could do to keep from cheering when the prison guards shot him.

3 hours of my life I won't get back - starring Matt "I've only got one facial expression" Damon; directed by Robert "I can act but can I direct?" De Niro and Angelina "I'm fit" Jolie.

just the other week - shite !

The big Lebowski was dull as hell.I have loads more but The Doors takes some beating.Recently that one with Seth Rogan as a mall security guard is shit beyond belief.
One the other side of the coin The Changeling with AJ was a film I was expecting to be crap and it turned out to be very good. I don't get AJ either but then again I'm not Brad Pitt.

The Coen Brothers are massively overrated? Although I loved Fargo and O' Brother Where Art Thou.

I might have to watch it again though - mainly because i am off to Japan next month and i want to check out the shots of the city which I recall being the enduring part of the film.I have found in past that if you watch a film when you are slightly tired you can end up getting the wrong view of it. Maybe if I try again my perspective will change but first impression was it was poor and overrated.

...by the hugely over-rated Ken Loach. Utter shite and thoroughly unpleasant. Like having a boot stamped on your face for 90 minutes.

M Night Shymalan's "The Happening" is just an awful awful film. Time I'm never going to get back.

… but American Beauty springs most readily to mind.
“That bag… it's… dancing…"

I went to the cinema to see the new Transformers movie.

I beg you, please learn from my mistakes. If you're tempted to go, sit at home and read a good book instead.

Stupid name, rubbish film. We're all going to die someday, right? Wow.

Those two F**king overlong borefests that are the Pirates Of The Carribean sequels...why oh f**king why???

was very long and tedious. I'm sure it ticked all the right boxes in terms of subject matter but all that frolicking interspersed with lots of long silences and moody staring into space etc. (yawn)

Boogie Nights - Just awful on every level possible.

The Flintstones - yeah I know!

Clockwise - dismally unfunny.

Star Trek - walked out - am proud to be the only person on the planet who hated it, apart from Mrs Jung.

In The Electric Mist - I quite liked it (not as good as the book of course) but Mrs J thought it the worst she'd seen in ages.

...only film I've walked out of the cinema early, though "Cocktail" came close.

That utter load of tatty cobblers with Sean Connery.

God, I hated it. Tedious CGI driven mish mash of half-arsed ideas with that useless, bad tempered old scrote lisping (lishping) all the way through it.

City Hall, starring Al Pacino and John Cusack? I fell asleep when I watched it and don't think I missed much. Worst scene in movie history occurs when Al (as New Yawwk's mayor) gives an utterly preposterous speech at a murdered black child's funeral. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington it ain't.

2001, A Space Odyssey - utterly pointless drivel. Sat there for 3 hours waiting for it to get good only for it to finish without having done so. When I turned to my mate (who had seen it before) and said that it was shit, his response was "I know, but I didn't want to spoil it for you".

The Avengers & the Saint were both apparently scripted by 6-year olds with ADD.

Coyote Ugly - the only time I have ever stopped watching a film (usually my obsessive nature won't let me not know how a film ends).

American Pie 3 - the first one was truly funny, the second one a reasonable follow up. This was a travesty.

winner by a long shot! I genuienly felt sorry for myself after viewing this "movie".

Just awful..especially the oirish dancing. Tone was set when someone behind me announced at the start that they were looking forward to it because "apparently it's based on a true story"

Forrest Gump - "life is like a box of...." Shut up.

So happy to see someone else hate the turd that was "Life is Beautiful"

The 1998 film re-make...awful beyond words. The one and only time I've walked out of a cinema, such was its sheer crapness. It's so bad, it doesn't even work on a "this is so bad you should see it" level.

As someone who hates flying, I always tend to watch the in-flight film, no matter what steaming pile of turd it is. When I went to New york in 1999, however, ye gods were indeed mocking me, as Lost in Space was the inflight entertainment. Suddenly, gazing out at the wings for seven hours - with a notion of impending death -seemed somehow quite soothing.

new St Trinians...words fail me

It is supposed to be some cult movie....it is just awful, truly awful...

Braveheart.

Amazingly, they made a live-action version back in the mid-90s with Leslie Nielsen in the titular role.

It tanked in the US and they released it in about 10 cinemas in Scotland before pulling its release across the rest of the UK.

Completely unfunny, all the 'humour' in the cartoon was lost and not even particularly clever.

worst of all, my face-to-face time with Leslie Nielsen - who was a bit of a comedy god to me at the time - was cancelled because the film stank so much. He returned to the US without doing a single press interview. Bah!

but at the start of this decade I worked in an ISP's call centre for 3 years (I had to be in a particular location, and this was virtually the only job in town). Some bright spark decided at one point to set up the this media company's output to play on jumbo-sized monitors dotted around the place, including film channels.

There was, of course, no sound. Even seeing films in this way, out of the corner of my eye, while doing something else, the stinkers were evident a mile off - even without dialogue. Few stick in the memory thankfully, apart from the awfulness that was "Mickey Blue-Eyes. I'm sure there was worse, though.

This meant I could smugly think "Thank God I didn't waste money seeing this", or be downcast in a detached sort of way during interminable end credits enumerating the vast number of people involved in producing a turkey.

Nicholson's greatness wasn't powerful enough to overcome a horrible script and him and Sandler having no comedic chemistry together.

why didn't he just walk on, it would have made for a better shorter fillum?

Why not just shoot the annoying turd and be done with it??

Whit Stillman, Wes Anderson, Cahrlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze - are really interesting aren't they. Really profound. Thoughtful. Make you think don't they?

I know what they make think. Mainly, that I'd rather be watching Carry on up the Khyber

That looks like too many s's. Anyway, I saw this at the pictures! (We'd planned to see Species but it was sold out. So it's not like we had set the bar high.) I doubt any of you have seen this. It's got Sly Stallone and Antonio Banderas in it. They're assassins, or something. I think someone's wife had been murdered. I dunno, it was awful, I've deleted as much as possible from my memory. The cinema was packed and my friend and I were the only ones who laughed at the dialogue. Which was utterly risable. One of the only films I've ever seen that has made me truly sorry.

Watched it at the weekend after it was given away with a newspaper. I thought I'd better finally get around to seeing why so many people rate it so highly. Having seen it I'm baffled. Two unlikeable people get drunk and shout at each other. I can get all that at home. Although Richard Griffiths was good, as ever.

Sylvester Stallone, (plank of) Jude Law, Simon Pegg, Jack Black, Sarah Jessica (why the long face) Parker, Kevin Spacey, Tom Cruise, John Malkovich, Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler

and aren't the last two one and the same?

Truly abject. Oliver Stone sets out to make a film satirising the way the media sensationalises and glorifies violence and ends up making a film that...oh I can't be bothered. You don't need me to spell it out for you.

Good soundtrack mind.

Loved the first, second had some great bits and seemed to set itself up for an excellent trilogy and then... utter bollocks.

In the scene where Trinity dies (and sod spoilers, if you don't know by this time then don't bother) I was sitting in the theatre thinking, "okay, I'll be out of here in about forty minutes, the supermarket will still be open, but the butcher will have closed..." I should have left early and done my shopping instead.

There were 7 people in the cinema when I saw it and only 3 made it to the end over three hours later. Just when you think it can't get any more convoluted and "clever" it starts raining frogs!!! Dreadful!

What a load of crap!

... and I saw Alexander (shudders)

Apologies for the sweary (though asterisked)

Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die............simpering toss from start to finish. The only good bit was Marmalade (RIP)

Off to join Tommmy Saxondale in anger management now.

The FPO loved it though

I like both Moulin Rouge and Peter's friends - which I thought considerably better than The Big Chill.
So obviously I have no taste.
The film I wasted time on is Eraserhead, which I would have walked out on if it had lasted another minute (I was getting my coat on). Blue Velvet was the same.

doesn't manage to redeem the portentous, pretentious snoozefest that is Wings of desire....

it was the first time I realised that winning a shedload of Oscars wasn't a guarantee of quality.

Always leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

has been in some stinkers - but I care not a jot. She follows a line of English femmes fatales - Julie Christie, Charlotte Rampling - who have broken my heart

Not that they cared.

Or knew - more accurately.

Offensive. Boring. Offensively boring. I'd rather saw my own arm off than watch it again.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was toss of the lowest order. And I say that as a man who sat through Mamma Mia last weekend. Additional votes for Lost in Translation, Dude Where's My Car and Eragon.

Dazed and Confused, it wasn't American Graffiti or Bill & Ted, my mates rave about it and I wonder if I've seen the same fillum.

Anyone who pretends to like that film are kidding themselves.
I don't see how anyone could have sat through that thinking "it's won some oscars, so it must be good. I must pretend i enjoyed it when i leave"

it was awful (but i have to say the CGI was impressive).

I sat at the back and watched half the cinema leave. I stayed to the end in disbelief at how bad it was. A really astonishing case of groupthink from the critics and media types, who to a man and woman, all fawned over it. I'm still at a complete loss to see why.

What a load of twaddle; gave up, after less than an hour.

Also the aformentioned Oscar winning Ordinary People.

Alien 3
The Beach

Moral of the story: don't go to see films others have chosen. That said, I got revenge with Cookie's Fortune which I didn't mind but was swiftly renamed Cookie's Revenge by one of the travelling party.

Iconic. Ground-breaking. Incredible Soundtrack

Crap movie

Appalling rubbish. Not even redeemed by having Sherilyn Fenn in a major role.

surely someone must have seen this pile of rubbish...or maybe they are still in a coma in a cinema somewhere....

The worst film of all time: Velvet Goldmine

Bring me the head of Mavis Davis
Nuns on the Run
The Tall Guy
Maybe Baby
The Parole Officer
Peter's Friends (etc. any film made by the British comedy ruling elite since 1981. You'd think I'd learn and stop watching them!)

Lately, No Country For Old Men. Two hours of my life spent telling me that I'm going to die & am already living in hell. Lovely. By complete contrast I thought Burn After Reading was excellent.

just daft and very, very stupid

that's me, for watching it

forgot I'd seen this. Didn't understand it, really. Just thought it was pretentious indecipherable bollocks that seemed a little self-satisfied.

And the ending? Completely pointless, as isn't built up to and it just happens.

That was a fair amount of my life wasted.

At least with the first one we hadn't seen a TR film before, although that's about as much originality as you could credit it with.

I can only assume that the first movie had reasonable box office takings and appealed to that demographic of teen-aged boys who will go to see the same film several times at the cinema.

Also "Pearl Harbor", which I saw with a couple of friends after we decided to go to the cinema without knowing which film we intended to see. It was the day of release and we hadn't seen any reviews or we might not have bothered. There's a bit in the middle that is not too bad, but the last half hour just didn't need to be there.

Samuel L Jackson obviously only agreed to do it if his character could be killed first.

When the credits finally rolled, my then girlie turned to me and said "You have wasted three hours of my life."

is currently playing, being watched by the 7 year old belonging to the people I'm living with

my eyes are bleeding

Bunch Of Arse!

Anger Management. I thought Sandler and Nicholson might make a surprisingly good comedic duo, boy was I ever wrong.

I agree about Easy Rider. The only scene I liked was the campfire bit with Nicholson. The followup, Five Easy Pieces I think is far better.

I took a film course in University where we looked at the works of Visconti. I enjoyed the early works of his we viewed and then hated most of his post 1960 work, with the exception of Conversation Piece which I found passable, a three out of five maybe. I especially hated The Leopard which I found tedious beyond belief and Death in Venice which I found to be overwrought and overlong. At one point I thought it might end with an interesting plot twist scene but instead dragged on for what felt like another hour.

Despite having Helen Mirren, utterly tedious. We left 20 minutes before the end. I had another go when it was on TV recently - and fell asleep. So I still don't know, nor care, who dunnit.