Doubled Over in Dublin

Vomiting in 'Vegas?

could you explain that one a little more, Pat?
In the meantime, I'm sure Incensed in Islington was appropriate recently.

Bilious in Billericay
Exhausted in Exeter
Hungover in Hanover
Tender in Tennessee
Poorly in Poole Harbour
Wrecked in Wrexham
Touching Cloth in Tunbridge (not strictly a medical term )

at which someone had written an annoyingly twee entry in the Visitors' Book about what he got up to on his holiday: he'd skidded down Skiddaw, ambled round Ambleside etc. etc. As the house was only a mile or so from the charming Cumbrian market town it was only the restraint of my dear wife which stopped me posing the obvious question about what he'd got up to in Cockermouth.

who the hell let Mark Ellen lose on t'interweb...if we're not careful, he'll start editing his Wikipedia entry...

Dyspeptic in Daytona
Priapic in Peoria
Panic in Detroit, er, no, hang on . . .

Flatulent in Farnborough
Foolhardy in Falmouth

Florid in Florida
Listless in Liverpool
A Scot in Ascot
Unwell in Hanwell
Healing in Ealing
Eating in Eton
Windy in Windsor

Trenchfoot in Trenchtown

Hitching in Hitchin

Sounds like every movie Woody Allen's ever made.

Tenebrous in Tehachape
Busted Flat* in Baton Rouge
Hamstrung in Hampton

* rare condition first observed by Professor Kristofferson.

Pox in Pocklington
Hypochondria* in Hyderabad (*only disease I haven't got, boom boom)
Lethargy in Littlehampton (until those spam emails did the trick)

Constant in Opal.

Shagged out in Stockport

Acne (near Shoreditch)

Unstable in Dunstable

A f#cked knee in Putney
The heebie-jeebies in Fiji
Collywobbles in Colorado
Rickets in Rickmansworth

:)

Nearer to home

Lecherous in Lichfield
Balmy in Birmingham
Tosser in Tamworth (there are a few of them)
Asshole in Aston (there are a few of them too)

Loony in London
Nutter in Nottingham
Shyster in Sheffield
Batty from Battersea

in Oxford I would say, as it is more like an 'ailment'. Except that apparently Oxford is one of the places with the lowest levels of obesity in the country - he says, as if this is an exercise with any actual meaning or purpose.

in Grimsby

Couched potatoed in Chesterfield

Redundant in Workington

... Ruislip.

Never been myself, mind. (That's rhumatic - nor Ruislip for that matter)

in Froom.

Hand-carved in Hastings

Hastings' serial killers are known for their traditional attitudes towards dismemberment, preferring old-fashioned knives and cleavers over modern power tools.

Newsworthy in Newton Valance

Your arrival in the insular community of Newton Valance makes the front page of the Parish newsletter, bumping a lesser story about a missing milk churn to page two.

Vesitgial in Virginstow

Your amply proportioned male member means nothing to the chaste inhabitants of this Devonshire Parish.

Beatified in Buttercrambe

Your posthumous daytrip to this small North Yorkshire village proves to be a positive step on your road to Sainthood.

as recorded by Nazareth

in Worcestershire

in Billericay

Ill in Rhyl?

Blind in Glynde?

etc etc

oh bollocks - just noticed billericay's been used um...

what about

diarrhea in tyne and wear?

glum in brum

grisly in wisley

or my personal favourite - the rather understated

sad in chad

oooh what about

blue in crewe

ah make it stop...

... Sydney

Someone's already done that one, you say? Bastard!