Entertainment For Lively Minds
Uncomfortable Plot Summaries
http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/
Does what it says on the tin. May contain spoilers. And nuts. Here's a few of my faves:
300: Gays kill blacks.
8 MILE: White man successfully coopts black culture to impress other whites.
BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
SIGNS: Jesus trumps science.
STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
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Favourites
A few of mine from the site:
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she f**ked a bum.
The Wordblog
This week: Nervous septuagenarians masquerade as hirsute dandies whilst they rustle thru'cyberspace in search of Freuer cover out-takes.
Pulp Fiction
Guns are drawn when John Travolta goes to the toilet.
BACK TO THE FUTURE - Never go back in time and have sex with your mother. It will have consequences you can't even imagine.
MURDER SHE WROTE - Elderly serial killer roams country covering up her crimes by successfully framing others. That was always my reading of it anyway.
The Decemberists
APOLOGY SONG: Colin Meloy loses his friend's bike and apologises to his answerphone.
ODALISQUE: Meloy listens to "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" and writes a five minute version of his 2009 album, "The Hazards of Love".
BILLY LIAR: Teenage boy fantasises over his next-door neighbour and works at a Post Office/Royal Mail in the summer holidays.
WE BOTH GO DOWN TOGETHER: A public-school boy manages to convince his working-class girlfriend that nobody else will want to marry her.
THE SOLDIERING LIFE: Private gets slighty too "bro-mantic" with his comrade. Awkwardness surely follows.
LOS ANGELES, I'M YOURS: Colin Meloy's suggestion for the LA Tourist Board is met with a negative response.
O VALENCIA: Romeo and Juliet go to Spain.
A CAUTIONARY SONG: A teacher decides to tell an unruly pupil that his mother is a prostitute
THE RAKE'S SONG: Widowed father kills children and shows no remorse. Police seem unaware of children's demise.
THE HAZARDS OF LOVE 4 (THE DROWNED)
Characters from the album end up in Nashville.
THE ENGINE DRIVER: Colin Meloy can't decide what job he does for a living; ends up staying at home to write short stories.