Seriously?

Yes, well Alan McGee is a past master at talking pants. I won't be buying the new album, or any Oasis album for that matter. They are about as musically appealing as a washing machine stuck on max spin. I'd rather listen to Dollar. Now there's a band who can really rock. Has Noel Gallagher ever written anything as good as this?

I'm sure it is, Alan, but is it also one of the best what Noel has ever wrote?

it might reach the giddy heights of 'Yellow Submarine" and "Dear Doctor".

McGee says "The band contains two world-class songwriters, and two great ones". Who are these invisible members and when will Oasis play their songs?

he forgot to capitalize 'the' and 'band'.

The man has been brainwashed.

and so does Alan. He's passionate about them and thinks they're fantastic. Nothing wrong with that. They changed my life and those of millions of others of a certain age - people shouldn't forget that.

...he sh*ts superlatives.

I am still waiting on the Viking Moses album (best live act he had ever seen). I still can't hear Cross My Path being the best Charlatans album (and I love The Charlatans). Whether you like them now or not, his early assessment of Coldplay's audience was way off the mark.

is no match for the thrill and anticipation of knowing that one of your favourite bands is about to release an album after a three year hiatus

I am more excited about Monday than I have been for... well probably three years actually.

I am literally counting down the days. How often does that happen these days?

Fun too...!"

C'mon - it's no different now to AC/DC. I see their new record is receiving 4 and 5 star reviews despite all reviews mentioning the identikit sound/songwriting and that it is a rehash of every DC album from Let There Be Rock callin at all stations through to Stiff Upper Lip.

Maybe once the Gallagher brothers reach the age of the brothers Young, they'll get the sycophantic vote too.

“Love is a time machine,
Up on the silver screen”

etc...

Back-of-a-fag-packet barely covers it.

Noel is clearly an intelligent and witty character, as any of his interviews testify. He's also collaborated with an interesting range of acts - Cornershop, Paul Weller, Chemical Brothers. But his summing up of the last Oasis LP (or was it the one before that? It doesn't really matter) as the "same old pub rock bollocks" is too true to be funny.

He and his brother seem to be chained together like a musical version of George and Lenny in Of Mice And Men, doomed to make the same record over and over again.

The House of Love, Teenage Fanclub, Super Furry animals; even My Bloody Valentine and Primal Scream (if you must): these were all great signings. Compared to that lot, Oasis stand out as a weak link in the chain.

But I like it. And I'm going to buy it. And that's the first time I've said that about an Oasis album in along time.

http://www.myspace.com/oasis

I'd poke out my eardrums with a pointed stick.

After quiet, gradual progress, Depeche Mode's Violator was their 7th studio album (in only 9 years!) and is probably their best, while producing massive-selling singles in Personal Jesus and Enjoy the Silence.

If Oasis go the way of Depeche Mode, they will achieve worldwide acclaim, US stadium tours, half-kill themselves with drink and drugs and then some of the band will up and leave. I hope that doesn't happen to Oasis.

Seems okay to me. A bit messy sounding, but with repeat listens the mess will fall away and the song should stand up as a good hard rock track. Lyrics are bit stupid, but then again, they might be so stupid that they're just fun.

The video starts with a recreation of the Hot Rocks Rolling Stones Best Of cover and they mention "Magical Mystery" in the lyrics (as in Magical Mystery Tour). And they show a uniformed brass band in the video which reminds me of Sgt Pepper. Any other references?

...didn't Neil Innes sue them for nicking the tune for "Whatever" from "It's nice to be an idiot" by the Rutles?