Entertainment For Lively Minds
Tottenham
Posted by Mousey on 7 August 2011 - 12:43pm.
All over the news here in Australia, for most of the day.
Anyone living in the area? Sounds frightening. How can this stuff happen?
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The High Road was completely destroyed
Hundreds of pounds worth of damage apparently
Wow! 10 people like this
Wow! 10 people like this shit. Is it supposed to be funny?
That's certainly why I upped it, yes...
It makes me sad that peoples
It makes me sad that peoples homes being destroyed is something to laugh at, whatever the value.
I was upping the joke
not the event.
Wish I could "up" it twice
..once for the gag, and once to show solidarity.
I'm not going to up it
But ..It's a joke.
Every occurrence should be made fun of (as long as it is not bullying)
sadly
there's now 24 sighs on this board.
Funny?
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/aug/07/police-attack-london-burns, accessed 8 August 2011, 10.10am
Some might say...
that it's the first real manifestation of the economic collapse and consequent breakdown of societal norms into anarchy.
Others might say it's just a load of bored and disaffected teenagers getting carried away on a hot summer night and deciding they wanted a free TV.
Others might say
it's because they could.
The police were on the back foot in the area, and wanted to not overstep authority in what was a difficult environment to police, and the local yoot took advantage.
Water cannon is the answer - a crowd control and fire extinguishing device in one handy unit.....
Seems to be a level of vehemence towards Tottenham in
the "hundreds of pounds worth of damage" joke. Are we non Londoners missing something? Can we be told too?
It's an old joke used about anywhere shabby
and down at heel - I also heard it told about Toxteth back in the 1980s.
Pundits
There is an interesting blog by Jack of Kent (a lawyer called David Allen Green) suggesting we should be sceptical about any pundits who claim immediately to know the cause:
"The actual riots are rarely predicted; but when they happen, people with political opinions tend to immediately know why they happened - what really caused them."
I think it is an important to understand what caused this riot, but I hope we get some real insight in the media, not simply confirmation, as he suggests, of views that were held already.
Full blog here:
http://jackofkent.blogspot.com/2011/08/predicting-riot.html
The Guardian online headline today
"Looting in Tottenham after fatal shooting"
Natch, they wished it had been in Tooting.
Ok Tottenham Riots
a tory government, a royal wedding, ecomomy in crisis....
Can someone check on the Cyborg Thatcher project? (TMFTL)
Hope everyone is fine up in Norf Lahndan
Any excuse...
No excuse required
Wonderful song.
very evocative.
The 100 or so people....
.....who marched from the estate to the police station, and were answered by a copper/constable/whoever, and then wanted some one higher up, yadda yadda yadda...........knew exactly what they were doing.
I'm 1 mile from the scene of the original crime and the train of events was laughable in their predictability.
If it is found that this death was a valid exercise by the police (i.e. the guy was a thug, the guy did have a gun, the gun did shoot first etc. etc.) are the 100 'quiet protesters' going to apologise to the 10 million Londoners for sending any progress since the 1980s back to that dire era?
This from the Guardian
This from the Guardian website [7.35pm entry on the page], suggests that there will be quite a few questions about the particular circumstances surrounding Mark Duggan's death:
Maybe we should hold back on judgments as to whether or not he was a "thug" until such time as we have a little more information?
Was just going to post that
Was just going to post that RU, what with people making jokes about poor people and the supposed "dire area" I and others live in , there are good persons like yourself waiting for the facts. Some seem all too keen to jump to conclusions and laugh.
The police use dum dum bullets?
I don't know if that is right or wrong; however I thought the use such ammunition was illegal.
Does anyone have any better information? I realise I could research it, but it's nearly bedtime on a Sunday night and I've got to get up for work.
According to the BBC early this evening
Duggan didn't fire his gun but it was a real gun with a live bullet in it, not a replica
It amazes me that a Guardian Crime reporter......
....should be privy to such sensitive info so soon after the event but, hey, that is the 'random' world we live in, I guess!
Makes me feel so safe and happy, not.
If it is a cooked up story then this event is probably the last straw for the Met Police as we've known it and they will never, ever be allowed to forget it, and will probably not exist after it.
But please, if it isn't, I'd rather like at least one statement on camera by one of the original 100 outside the police station, because they're the people who are always let off the hook when, and if, they are proved to be in the wrong.
But OK.........let's wait.
The third night
I sat with my wife last year as she cried her heart out watching her home city burn and anarchy subsumed the streets of Bangkok. Now I sit watching my home city burn and although I am not crying I can fully understand the hurt she went through.
I lived and worked in Croydon for ten years and I am shocked by the pictures on TV. My heart is beating slightly faster than usual and that is anger. What the hell is happening in this country right now? How have the morals of a significant minority been so twisted that they think they can destroy innocent people's livelihoods, homes and possessions in the name of a police incident yet to be investigated?
There seems to be a strong undercurrent in certain pockets of society that have been waiting for this opportunity. Has this been inevitable for some time?
I have no answers, only questions, but I needed to write something down. Does anyone have the solution, the causes or share the feelings of anger?
The "unrest" has nothing to do with Mr Duggan
and everything to do with nasty, ignorant, violent little maggots with no sense. It's copycat brainless idiocy. Its all about sheeplike, mob mentality that has not been affected by the government, police, unemplyment etc. These are all purely excuses for lawlessness.
Stop trying to understand why and sympathise with these idiots and take back control. And blaming Twitter and Blackberry - Jesus wept!
Well said
I couldn't agree more.
Time for the Army and the water cannons..........
.......as Danny Baker used to say: 'FACT'.
Walthamstow had the High Street affected (it was no Tottenham) last night, but the stuff going on in South London is jaw-dropping.
Didn't quite do it as there is nothing happening here at the moment but almost did a 'Absolute Beginners' style rant in the middle of our street along the lines of 'LONDON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'
If I could get hold of one of these f****** w****** right now, and against my wife's best wishes, I would kill them.
No problem.
I guess that makes me a bad person.
Still going to football tomorrow night.....that ain't being sacrificed for anyone.
West Ham v Aldershot is called off mate
if that is where you were headed. They will take a decision in the morning on Palace and Charlton. *edit* Charlton is off as well, looks like the lot will be postponed. ***
Looks like they will go ahead with the beach volleyball in the Mall though, as part of the Olympics preparation.
As a non Londoner
it's horrible watching this from a distance and worrying about my friends (including The Massive) in North London.
Just listening to the guy whose shop the news crews have been showing burning for last two hours. "Hope you've got nice pictures, my life has been destroyed". Shop established in 1867. Heartbreaking.
I live in Tottenham
and this is profoundly depressing
Christ.
Apologies for stating the obvious, but I have a very bad feeling about where this is all heading, and especially about what the response is going to be when it's clear that the Met cannot, or will not, cope.
You can see why people want to bring back capital punishment
The vast majority detest the mindless violence of this group of idiots.
What do we do? Engage with them or try and remove them for good from decent society?
Hence the recent number of petitions regarding the return of the death penalty.
Where are we moving as a society?
Petrol bombs in Clapham
according to Newsnight. Stay safe people.
Babylon's Burning: The Ruts (warning, contains traces of Dave Lee Travis)
Oh, and this too
From Hill St Blues
Hill St Blues...
That's the wishy washy Liberal version though, that may offend some of the "let's return to Victorian times" right wingers on here.
Let's not forget that Phil Esterhaus was replaced with Sgt. Stan Jablonski and his saying was "Let's do it to them before they do it to us"
I guess even TV shows get more right wing as they get older.
Address the post
Not the poster!
(So if I'm all for law and order and don't think liberalism has got us very far, does it make me right wing?).
Thanks for the warning ,dave
if i'd seen Travis and i hadn't been prepared i'd have probably taken to the streets myself.
Loads of kids outside my house now.....
.......playing s*** music and wearing c*** clothes (actually that bit goes without saying) and staring ominously at our local newsagents.
Looks like I'll be staying up all night.....so I'll finish writing my play and drinking loads of tea.
And, to the guy above, yeah I was toying between West Ham or Charlton tomorrow night for a tenner, both of which are now off, cheers lads, you're real....erm....bricks.
The Army
will be called in at this rate - or at least Northern Ireland-style water cannon.
Has blown phone-hacking out of the picture now: Mr and Mrs Average are a lot more bothered about this and will be calling for police resources to be massively increased. Don't think the Liberal wing of the coalition is going to get a look in on what happens now.
It's horrible and it's worrying...
...and, of course, its not a competition. That said, I live in Belfast and we've had to put up with similar kind of bollocks and mob thuggery under the thin veneer of some social/cultural(political) justification for decades.
Whether it's a no-hope teenager in Tottenham or a middle-class po faced Orangeman in Belfast, or an I-know-my-rights merchant on the other side of the fence over here (I'm not prejudiced: I think they're ALL a shower), what they ultimately all want - to answer a question put above - is this: they just want their own way.
Society only works when people go about their lives in a consensually agreed way, a large part of which is the law and the rest of which is consideration for others and the greater good.
None of this is, clearly, happening around London and, regrettably, deadlock on consensus in NI - usually over people walking down streets, causing those streets to be closed to normal traffic and celebrating essentially sectarian events 300 years ago, and annoying other people at certain times of the year - has resulted in summer after summer of public order situations. Periodically these break out into people blockading roads and rioting.
Containing the 'status quo' seems to be what the approach is over here, alas (me, I'd like to see ANYBODY who wants to march given their own field away from public roads/non-impressed communities and told to get on with it - seems a common sense solution). But I guess the answer in London must involve, at least in part, a zero tolerance crackdown on criminality and thuggery. Whatever the social issues are, I'm sure there's things to explore and try to improve on, but I don't think right now is the time for a touchy feely approach...
impossible to sleep
It's half twelve and I can't turn off the rolling news. I live between lewisham and deptford- I think we got off lightly, though there has been looting in both. Watching the news the horror just builds - new trouble in new places. Upstairs my pregnant wife sleeps. If she goes into labour tonight I don't know if we can get to the hospital. And I keep thinking: What kind of a city am I bringing my new baby into? One where my neighbours break into shoeshops, just because they can? Where the kids have learned that they can do this with impunity?
I'm rambling, sorry. But I'm confused. I'm liberal by nature, I believe that society needs to look after the disenfranchised. But watching these worms crawl over one another to get jeans and tvs just makes me sick. Right now I wish every evil upon them for screwing with my city. I hope they haven't turned me into a string-em-up type...
All ok here in Teesside so far
Not that we'd actually be able to notice the difference, mind.
I'm watching from afar
Very afar.
And this seems, from my limited experience, very different from the riots of the early '80s. I stand to be corrected, but that seemed to be, in large part, an expression of anger driven by a frustrated desire for societal change.
This? Even if you hold that the original 'protest' was valid... this? This is just not that. Opportunistic violence for a large part.
I wonder, after the inevitable public inquiries, what we'll find out. Coordination of riots? Ineffectual policing? Community 'leaders' who like the words but couldn't lead a dog?
Whilst it's nothing compared to what the people of London are going through, this is terribly distressing from afar.
Some of the stories coming out now in London.....
.....and Birmingham on the rolling news is incredible.
Woke up this morning, broadly speaking, left wing.
With each story I'm moving further right.
Isn't there just one good news story out there, like one of these pieces of s*** getting trapped in one of the burning buildings, or something?
H.G. Wells.
Are there now spacecraft hovering over the cities?
Seeing as how this is primarily a music magazine...
I was just wondering...has they're been any bands/"artists" describing the streets beforehand? or is that a thing of the past?
In times of crisis we need calm heads
I'm not sure what's more shocking: the riots and looting, or the racist hatred pouring out of the Telegraph's blog. Seems like there's an awful lot of bad vibes in the country tonight. And that won't solve anything.
If I'm glad for one thing
It's that we live in a culture that sees freedom of speech and incitement as necessarily mutually exclusive. If we didn't, London would be like Kigali this morning.
I do worry though, how long the line can hold. If WE feel uncomfortable because our liberal credentials are being stretched, just think how things must look and feel for people in BNP strongholds like Eltham and Barking.
As disgusting as it might seem, we have to understand them and their grievances as clearly as anyone else's if we want to avoid the first of what could be a series of very unpleasant summers.
From The Miner's Strike onwards the mainstream parties started to systematically fail the white working class when they worked out that they no longer needed to listen to them, reassure them, or challenge their misconceptions.
Demonisation won't help; it won't bring us closer to understanding what we can do stop some people turning into brain-dead looting machines, and it won't bring us closer to understanding some people who, right now, are feeling very very scared and angry.
Not sure about the racist bit....
......but there sure-as-damn-it should be an outpouring of hatred.
Huge great big slabs of it.
Come over to Walthamstow if you want some of mine.
Heard one guy on FiveLive just now give the fact that it's the summer holidays and the kids have 'nothing to do' as a contributory factor!!!!
Have you tried to carry an issue of 'Time Out' (free in all the local libraries) in 2011?!
It's one hundred and fifty pages long!
The guy who delivers ours looks like the Michelin Man!
Nothing to do?
In Napoli!!!!!! ('Absolute Beginners').
Perhaps the racist angle is the fact that in all of this the biggest garbage spouted is by male, aged 25-55, black community leaders.
If they're the ones guiding the black community.....bloody hell!
That said, the most heart-warming and wonderful contribution was on Radio London yesterday morning at about 11.15 by a 17-year-old black girl.
Who'd have thought that the Capital City's biggest enemy would not be a German bomber but a piece of plastic meant for communication first championed by all those city twats in the c*** 1980s?
Today, working at home, I'm avoiding all news media including this site.
I don't care about 'them'.
I don't care about any of 'them'.
If 'they' were deprived (which compared to an 18 year old at the Battle of the Somme) they clearly are not, I sincerely hope that 'their' deprivation gets worse.
Just for my own sanity:
Please, please, please, please, please tell me the Test Match is going to go ahead in Birmingham tomorrow.
Thoughts
I'm saddened and sickened by this. But I'm also angry at our leaders, who don't think it's necessary to cut their holidays short to stand by not just London but the other cities that saw trouble (Birmingham, Liverpool and Bristol all saw trouble); the people who think it's necessary to have nearly three times as many police in London for the Royal Wedding as they had for this.
I can't help wondering at the politics at play in the reaction to all of this. A police force who are facing cuts (justified by Theresa May a year ago when she said the British do not riot in times of austerity, bet she's regretting that statement now), it's not entirely unlikely that their response was somewhat restrained, that there may be some faction higher up using this to justify less cuts to the force.
Apparently an extra 300 police were brought in from the Home Counties yesterday. Now you may think that's a lot of bodies, but look at the following link.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23975296-police-go-to-the...
6 days ago the Met carried out dawn raids to target a major London gang. They deployed more than 300 officers to hit an East London estate. The raid resulted in 23 arrests. That's more than 10 officers per person arrested. That makes the extra 300 to deal with riots/looting seem like small potatoes.
Additionally, and this connection doesn't seem to have been made anywhere in the media - the estate that was raided was the Pembury Estate, which just happens to have been at the centre of the trouble in Hackney yesterday. So you do have to wonder about their responses when they deploy more people to the estate for their raids than they did to deal with the trouble...
So yes, I am sickened and angered and saddened by all of this, and I hope the full weight of the law lands on the idiotic heads of the people who took part, but good God, where are our bloody leaders? What with police response and hardly a whisper on the wind of a politician the last few days I think a lot of people felt unprotected, uncared for and left in the shit together.
Related to a point made above.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/sep/15/theresa-may-cut-police-budget-w...
A good shower of rain
will end it all.
Never seen anyone here able to express their socio/political dissatisfaction outdoors in inclement weather.
Just what I thought
P-ing down in the north east, ergo nothing happening.
Also, if it wasn't on telly would it spread around to other cities so quickly?
Social networking
Yep, telly most probably has helped it spread. But it cracks me up listening to the Today Programme (and particularly that anachronism John Humphrys) when they talk about 'mobile phones' and 'the internet' as though reading these words phonetically for the first time.
Bastards nicked a bay tree
from in front of my house last night. In Ealing!! Why don't they fuck off down to the city and take things out on RSB, Soc Gen and Citi?
Frightened city
I arrived at work this morning to see the place now behind metal grills. It's really quite chilling.
I live quite near Clapham Junction and had endless texts from people telling me that Debenhams was being looted, etc, while watching it all unfold on Sky News.
It's terrifying, horrifying, heartbreaking, making me rapidly fall out of love with London, worrying for mine and my family's safety and like the start of some awful apocalypse film that you'd think too far-fetched to be true.
The government are hopeless, the police are powerless - where will it all end?
I don't really want to be around to find out.
Most telling thing on Sky News last night
SKY reporter in Clapham reporting from high street post devestation.
"Currys Digital has been ransacked as has the Carphone Warehouse.
Waterstones remains untouched"
No shit Sherlock......
"Hey bruv, bollocks to the plasma, I'm gonna get me dat new Dickens anthology our teacher told us about, innit?"
To quote Alan Gordon Partridge - "these people are scum, subhuman scum"
And engaging in some
'aggressive late-night shopping'.
One snivelloing little shit
on the news last night said 'we is just taking back our taxes'. There aren't enough punches in the world
Is this what Daily Mail readers feel like all the time? I must get some work done just to ease my blood pressure
Daily Mail readers
I've said for years that there are more criminals in Britain than prison places, and not enough police officers, only to be called a Daily Mail reader.
Now I'm being proved right, sadly.
Lefties of London, your LGBT community outreach support co-ordinators won't save you now.
Lefty of London
No, they (community outreach support co-ordinators) won't save us. But a safety net for the socially and economically disadvantaged might have gone further toward saving others than what Daily Mail readers would provide.
Must add
I was using the phrase 'daily mail readers' as a catch all grand sweeping statement phrase to cover any 'flog em and hang em' merchants. Which I fear I sound like at the moment through fear and concern.
Community outreach officers \ community liaison etc is all very well but one on 5Live this morning saying that if the government hadn't cut funding they would have been able to stop the violence last night was ridiculous. The people smashing up town centres last night don't listen to reason, intellectual discussions on gang violence and young people's enterprise initiative schemes.
They want to kick smash a few windows, nick a few bit of tech from the local telly shop and have a damn good laugh while doing so. There is no point appealing to their better nature as they haven't got one.
"And now my spirit walks the streets of Tottenham"
"Oh, the parents are the problem
Giving birth to maggots without the sense to become flies"
With police forces stretched as it is I just hope that they can get control back and stamp this out before it becomes a nightly game for bored teenagers
Not either or
...using LGBT as an easy target does sound a bit, well, Daily Mail. Not that there is anything wrong with the DM of course, some of my best friends etc etc.
For what its worth the LGBT team were pretty useful last time I was assaulted - infinitely more so than the desk sargeant who really just went through the motions, and may as well have displayed an enormous neon sign saying "f- off and stop wasting my time" - one day we won't need them, till then in my experience they do a pretty good job.
Well said
I don't like some of the quasi homophobic things I've read on this blog in the last couple of days.
Like...
...this? Or are there others?
Yes
I was thinking of that and the above.
Apologies...
to anyone that may have been offended by that post. It was a throwaway attempt at humour based on the fact that Soap Operas do not acurately portray gay people on the whole.
The bricklayer part was partly me playing to the gallery for a cheap laugh but I do stand by the general point.
Again, apologies if anyone saw it in another light.
You couldn't make it up
The last line was intended to read as a spoof of Richard Littlejohn of the Daily Mail.
Seems to have backfired.
You should have seen the stuff
from earlier today that Fraser (very wisely) took down...
Never saw those remarks....
but is censoring them a good thing? Let's see what people really think.
It's only words. (feel a song coming on)
RU may be talking about something else
But myself and Pax had some posts removed yesterday. Trust me, you didn't miss anything. The forum equivalent of handbags, with Fraser 'Pierluigi Collina' Lewry dishing out the yellows.
No, no
They were the ones Spartacus.
It was wasn't really censorship, Doug; more waste removal... :-)
It's only words
I'm generally not interested is censoring what people have to say - we just ask that you respect each other, and our house rules, when saying it.
First fatality.
20 year old, gang related shooting in the heat of all the stuff last night, presumably a black-on-black crime.
Unsurprisingly England v Holland fixture is off.
How would this have been handled in Rome and Paris?
Both first world countries signed up to the same European legislation as we are....hey and if the scarves worn over their faces were in the colours of a football club, the police might not have been so stand offish...
Tear gas, big sticks, aggressive dogs, mounted police and water cannon. Over in 2 hours.
Simplistic I know but sure as hell they'd think twice about doing it again.
Sorry - feeling reactionary this morning after walking down Tottenham High Road from Seven Sisters station
Quite right, but
we don't use water cannons here (and this phrase always cracks me up) 'on the British mainland'.
It is ridiculous
That my family in Armagh can be deemed worthy of a quick blast of the hose but not anyone in London.
How the hell can Theresa May justify this with a straight face is beyond me.
Theresa May
Not seen anyone so out of their depth in some time.
Best of luck to your family.
Religious bigotry
and mass murder, perhaps?
That's something that's not going to fizzle out when the weather gets colder.
Not far wrong
I was thinking last night about the French CRS - the frankly paramilitary police who get called in for riots.
I believe that the technical analysis is that they "don't fuck about".
Fighting fire with fire
or playing them at their own game. Social media to organise the riot, social media to bring to justice:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/metropolitanpolice/6025489254/in/photostrea...
Excellent
I hope all of these vermin soon feel the full force of the law.
Horrified by the pictures, sympathies to all victims...
...and a heart-felt desire to see:
- a rigorously-enforced curfew - if you're on the streets after-hours, be prepared to take the consequences;
- a ban on hoodies and face masks - if you're not up to no-good, there's no reason to hide your face;
- compelling the parents of every juvenile involved to take their share of the responsibility - could someone please explain why we need formal training to drive a vehicle, but not to raise a child? (And please spare me any anti-eugenics lectures, as that's not what I'm talking about!)
"showing the rich people we can do what we want"
It's all just a bit of a laugh for these girls
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14458424
That is classic!
i.e. showing an Asian shopkeeper who works from 6.00 a.m. to 11.00 p.m. 'we can do what we want'.
Priceless.
I'm not sure how I can feel good about this.
Oh yeah, I know, can you imagine what they look like and how they dress!
'You can have the one on the right.....erm.....and you can have the one on the left'.
Lord of the Flies
Isn't it?
"Lord Of the Flies, isn't it?"
I read that in the style of The Fast Show's Ron Manager
ooh Riots thou. Wasn't like in our day, small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. oooh Terry's found a milkbottle, lets put a spider in it with a cherry bomb, arrggh glass hit me on the knee, run all the way home to loving arms of mother, make it all better....where do they go those innocent years? Marvellous.
have we failed the youth? Have we?
I think
the opposite.
Not quite
Though I'm not too familiar with the Fast Show, so it could be!
I think it is basically Lord of the Flies at the moment. However, far from being on a fictional island with no adults, it's actually happening here, with adults and authority figures all present and correct. Which surely tells us something about the standard of parenting.
Nottingham was almost bound to be a target....
.....the scummers have made it a virtual borough of London in the last ten/fifteen years.
Perhaps that's where all the absent fathers live?
Glad to see the Forest-County game went ahead.
There's a long way to go but the East Londoners near me are pulling together and hopefully it will turn out like the Leyton Orient-Droylsden game last season.
Dreadful start.....0-2.
Clawed back near the end.....2-2.
Complete and utter stuffing at the final whistle......8-2.
London 8 Scummers 2?
Nah.....I think we'll win by more.
What's a scummier?
A Scummer
A scummer is a Southampton suppoerter.
West Ham...
surely?
Isn't it ironic?
Brain dead, inarticulate gobshite Mancs loot clothes shop owned by brain-dead, inarticulate gobshite Manc.
Liam Gallagher's clothes shop in Manchester's King Street has fallen victim to the looters.
Yep.....
......and I hope the guy who set light to the Miss Selfridge in Manchester, and then turned around to show his face clear-as-day to the camera enjoys his next three days of freedom.
Use it to get a decent haircut, mate!
Strange Days indeed.
Or, in his case, Strangeways indeed.
The Kaiser Chiefs
I'm surprised no one talked to them. They predicted it...
OK, I'll get my coat. Again.
And yes it probably is unreasonable to crack jokes, because there is no disturbance near me. Probably because it is Ramadan. It won't be so funny if it reaches Bradford. I do understand.
Ramadan?
Why is Ramadan an issue Paul?
There's very little trouble at Ramadan
When did you last hear of a ramadan a dingdong?
/coat etc
The opposite is true.....
.....I'll definitely be going to my very rough and ready local in E17 in the next day or two (cricket permitting) to hear the sarky comments/jokes.
One thing's for sure, Junior won't have to spend any money for an Absent Father's Day present this year.
Etc. etc. etc.
When I saw Adrian Mills
outside his restaurant in Ealing I half expected Ester Rantzen to pop up and say 'We phoned Mr Cameron and he said "this has absolutely nothing to do with us"'
I was half expecting DC to blame Nick Clegg
"Well I was on holiday, the Deputy Prime Minister was in charge".
It might have been worth a try, it has worked with everything else.
His collection
of vegetables that look a bit rude were also looted.
as well as his collection of odd odes
and Ivor Biggun LPs
David Cameron...
Just heard him condemning "mindless selfishness"
Lucky his banker mates aren't guilty of that.
Or indeed himself
in his Bullingdon Club days.