Top of the Pops - Best and Worst Performances?

I woke this morning, around 0500HRS, having dreamt of Adam and the Ants performing Dog Eat Dog on TOTP...ah, did that stir some memories in the damp light of the new day? I was 14-ish and absolutely blown away by the tribal thumping and the pantomime costumery of Mr Goddard and his pals...I resolved to draw, scratch and trace the "ant logo" on all available surfaces:

ANT MUSIC FOR SEX PEOPLE - SEX MUSIC FOR ANT PEOPLE

(or was it the other way around?)

Anyway, this got me to mulling what were the best and worst performances I could remember on TOTP - my era being the 70s and early 80s, realistically..

THE BEST (in Tony's opinion)
- DOG EAT DOG by Adam and the Ants

- Anything by X-RAY SPEX - Polly was obviously so hideous to the cameramen that they overlaid the whole picture with that eye-melting colour phasing montage!

- Anything by the Buzzcocks - skinny Pete whining into his mike

- Brown Sugar - The Rolling Stones

- Kate Bush with Wuthering Heights

THE WORST
- There's No-one Quite Like Grandma - St Winifreds etc etc - with the little girl with the tongue four sizes too large for her mouth

- Grandad (Clive Dunn) - horrific image of the Dunn-meister being stroked and caressed by young boys and girls in a manner that would get Messrs Glitter, King (J) and that bloke from the Bay City Rollers into great trouble in the years to come (but NOT Pete Townsend, obviously)

- Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To My Lovely? (Ha-ha ha..ha!)

- Mud - Tiger Feet : with the tight-shirted dockers doing the shimmy-shimmy, pully-pushy, kicky-feetee dance thing on either side of the band. Always loved the Rob (the guitarist?'s) ear-rings and nylon flares, though

Much love etc

Tony

(edited for horrendous slanders etc)

The album spot

For a brief period they had a slot for albums, with 2 or 3 tracks getting an airing. uncertain how long it ran, but I definitely recall, with pleasure, Full House/Fairport Convention and the Groundhogs doing Split and Cherry Red. Tony T.S. McPhee, eh. Still gigging....

Retropath2 | 3 July 2008 - 2:17pm

The album slot...

...read about this in Record Collector once, apparently hardly any of that brief slot survives anymore, save for performances of The Faces and Badfinger.

I remember the Britpop days probably the most vividly as I watched TOTP weekly at that point.

I also watch the re-runs of TOTP2 now and again- The Sweet's high-camp run-through of 'Blockbuster' was one of the most fun performances I saw from the show.

As for worst, there was some awful 80s novelty hit with two blokes doing a rap version of Madonna's 'Holiday' which has probably scarred me for life. What about that 'comedy' version of 'You're The One That I Want?' That was abysmal too. Also, wasn't it All About Eve who had the backing track mishap?

JJ | 3 July 2008 - 2:40pm
Beany | 3 July 2008 - 2:54pm

"At thickth - 'Thetheelia' by Thugth" - Chris Eubank on TOTP

Top of the Pops + Chris Eubank = comedy. The classic moment itself is one minute in to the clip:

Might as well enjoy "Maggie May" with John Peel again:

Nick White | 3 July 2008 - 3:24pm

A pedant writes

Rob Davis wasn't Mud's bass player; he was the guitar player. The band with the bass player with the lipstick and flouncy frock was the Sweet. (These things are important. Let's try to get them right, hmm?)

Archie Valparaiso | 3 July 2008 - 3:52pm

Another pedant writes

Woody wasn't the drummer in the Bay City Rollers...he was the guitarist. Possibly Derek Longmuir?

bigsteviecook | 3 July 2008 - 4:14pm

Rob Davis fits Tonys description better, tho'

Regardless of bass or rhythm..... (I'm not going to gild his lily as lead guitar - I remember the wibbly wobbly solos)

Retropath2 | 3 July 2008 - 3:58pm

Didn't he do well

Ended up writing hit songs for Kylie

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/1706933.stm

Beany | 3 July 2008 - 6:58pm

Oh....the memories....

The Best


John Waite | 3 July 2008 - 4:03pm
Archie Valparaiso | 3 July 2008 - 4:14pm

top of the pops

Best
I have fond memories of my Dad singing 'Grandad,Grandad you're ugly" gleefully mimicking Clive Dunn ,so that is defo on the best.

Yoko knitting wearing a blindfold while John sings "Instant Karma"

Robert Wyatt wheelchairing through "I'm a Believer"

John Peel's bashful mandolin miming on Maggie May.

Marmalade going all druggy with "Reflections" and "My Little One"

Mott doing "All The Young Dudes"

Thunderclap Newman's magical "Something in The Air"

Peter Green's vocals on "Man Of The World"

Four Tops and those amazing dance routines

Dave and Ansell Collins

hey it was all good.

Bang Em In Bingham | 3 July 2008 - 4:48pm

Bay City Rollers: correction

I think you'll find that the Rollers with the, er, unusually youthful tastes were Derek and their manager Tam Paton, not Gid Auld Woody (who was the bass player, I think).

Archie Valparaiso | 3 July 2008 - 4:53pm

Uncle Roy North

The Arthur Mullard/Hylda Baker clip introduced on "GET IT TOGETHER" by Basil Brush's Mate Roy North.
Didn't GET IT TOGETHER take over from LIFT OFF with AYSHEA ?

paul beard | 4 July 2008 - 7:13am

Tull

Before Thick As A Brick and the prog road to ridicule, Jethro Tull appeared on TOTP a couple of times and seemed to me to be dangerous, clever and musically superior. Check out The Witch's Promise:

Bo Doogley | 3 July 2008 - 9:19pm

Alice & Pan

Favourite things

Pan's People - in general but specifically for their often over-literal interpretation of song lyrics in their routine. Their performance to Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Get Down" was memorable - dogs were involved I think. Also, they "punked up" for their routine to a Pistols single - hilarious.

Alice Cooper - his "Schools Out" performance on TOTP (all in black with drippy black makeup and waving a sword about) made a deep and disturbing impression on this young boy. Not sure if this is a favourite thing or a most hated thing - still scares me a bit.

Worst Things

Has to be that bloke (Rupert Holmes maybe) who performed the horrible "Pina Colada Song" on TOTP with his nasty (tidy) beard and big glasses and air guitaring. Unpleasant.

Stephen G | 3 July 2008 - 9:41pm

Apols - I was young at the time...

...and wishing to avoid further assaults from pedants I have edited my original post for slanderous mistakes...

tonyboydell | 3 July 2008 - 10:10pm

The Best and the Worst in one

Pan's People stripping down from air hostess outfits to their bikinis while dancing to the black-and-white-minstrel sounds of "Barbados" by Typically Tropical.

At the time I thought it was ace (I was only 8!); in retrospect it must have been cringe-inducing...

David Ellcock | 3 July 2008 - 10:27pm

Bankrobber...

Now THERE was a Pan's People dance routine (or was it Legs & Co?)

Very literal, as I recall!

John Waite | 4 July 2008 - 9:04am