Entertainment For Lively Minds
THOR Hammer of the Gods.
Last night my wife and I decided to get a movie on Sky Box Office. It was my turn to choose and as I like Viking movies we went with Thor Hammer of the Gods.
After the first 10 minutes we both realised it was absolute rubbish and were going to give up on it. But having forked out £3.95 we decided to stick with it.What followed was the funniest hour and a half we have spent in a long time. From the piss poor acting to dismal CGI effects it was a hoot from start to finish. It had everything from swarthy Norsemen to dialogue so clunky I was expecting Jimmy Saville to pop up. The 3 brothers in the story all had different accents ranging from Northern English to Wow Dude American. Apart from the dreadful acting the werewolves in the story were the most pathetic I have ever seen on screen.
I though Showgirls was bad but this is worst film I have ever seen by a long way.I absolutely love crap films so can any of the massive recommend any really bad films I can watch? By the way you could do worse than spend a hour and a half of your time watching this with a few glasses of something nice. You will not be disappointed in fact I will give a money back guarantee to anyone who watches this and doesn't laugh.
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The Island of Doctor Moreau
The Val Kilmer / Marlon Brando one - so bad it's hysterically funny
The ultimate guide
is probably this. The only problem is that the synopses are so entertaining, there's no real need to sit through the actual films.
(Warning: May contain Pia Zadora.)
Pia Zadora
Reminds me of the story about her playing Anne Frank on Broadway. Her acting was so bad that when the Nazis come in at the end, someone in the audience shouted out "She's in the attic!"
Pia Zadora's career highlight
was being mentioned by the Passenger Hitmaker in 'Well, Did You Evah?'
Strictly speaking she wasn't mentioned on it.
Her house was :-)
You have won today's award
for pedantry :-)
(takes a small bow)
Boxing Helena
Debates about the worst film of all time always end with a viewing of "Boxing Helena" - at which point all becomes horribly clear.
Shark in Venice
The title tells you everything you need to know
I thought you meant *this* Thor...
new
Alas not Stimpy but my wife likes his silver boots.
The new thor movie
I'm a retired Marvel comics fanboy and i'm quaking in my valhalla boots about what the new Kenneth Branagh directed Thor is going to be like. Instinct tells me it's gonna be really shit....Would love to be proved wrong though
Troy
with Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Brian Cox falls a little short of its vaunting ambition it's fair to say.
Pitt is magnificently awful throughout and spends much of the film in a sort of a Trojan mini-skirt. His dying scene is a thing of wonder.
Here's a speech of his:
"Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword...Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! Do you know what's there, waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"
"Let no man forget how menacing we are". Deathless
See also The 300
"Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in hell!"
"There are many highlights in this film...
... sadly they are all in Colin Farrell's hair." was one review I'd heard for Troy.
Don't think he was in it
- however, he was in this:
http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/2004_alexander_005.html
Whoops...
Thanks for the correction. I must do better.
If Thor's visage doth not looketh like *this*...
then verily he is not worthy of the name of Thor the mighty.
Jack Kirby really was a god.
Bubba Ho-Tep
Elvis Presley as an elderly resident of a Texan rest home who switched identities with an Elvis impersonator years before 'his' death but missed the chance to switch back. He teams up with an old black guy who thinks he's JFK to do battle with an Egyptian entity.
The plot is so ludicrous it should be absolute rubbish. The truth is it's absolute genius.
You may enjoy this lot
http://www.badfilmclub.co.uk/
Terrible films with a commentary by someone funny. Usually at the Barbican but they move around