even one single song by Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart or the Grateful Dead.

- been on telly - what happened to everyone having 15 minutes of fame?

- been asked who I'd vote for for an opinion pollster, or to name my favourite films (or whatever) for any one of those thousands of "100 greatest ..." compilation programmes on Channel 4.

Little Feat

as a starter.

What have I missed?

... but own no music by Richard Thompson.

The only actual song of his I have heard was his cover of Oops I Did It Again. I thought it was pretty good. I'm sure for many of you this counts as something I would have been tempted to try by now...

I have never...

1. Repaired a car.
2. Willingly played a team sport.
3. Gone on a stag weekend.
4. Drunk more than six pints of beer.
5. Fired a gun.
6. 'Pulled' a 'bird.'
7. Played golf.
8. Watched cricket.
9. Had a fight.
10. Indulged in any form of 'extreme' sport.

I'm not saying I expect, or wish, to do any of these things. Just that there is an unspoken catalogue of 'bloke' things that I don't conform or subcribe to.

1. Lived with a girlfriend.
2. Learnt to drive.
3. Bought a can of Ronseal.
4. Laughed at stand up comedians (apart from Bill Hicks).

1. Insured a car - I have been driving for twenty five years (company cars).
2. Insured house contents.
3. Looked up my family tree.
4. Joined a gym!
5. Paid for any music via a download.

... sorry, Murdoch.

I must have lived a debauched life as I have done most of them above. Well except the Ronseal thingy. The gym too. Never been on a stag do either.

I read The Word. Can someone tell me what The Wire is?

I do not own anything that begins with an i. iPod, iPhone. iGloo.

for my stereo (remember those) there some years ago when I had tried all of the shops in Tottenham Court Road and none of them had the right one. One of the shop assistants suggested Harrods as it had a good electrical department, and indeed they had it. I had never been there so I had a look round - and that was what everyone else seemed to be doing, almost no-one was buying anything. It was like a museum. How can it just have been sold for £1.5 billion?

The highlight of my visit was looking through a display in the book department, and accidentally knocking into the tall and very glamorous woman next to me, who took my apology with good grace. On the way out I realised it had been Marie Helvin. I understand she has written an autobiography - I must check to see which chapter this incident features in.

1) have never seen any Star Wars film(Idea for radio Programme ,must contact BBC)or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.
2)have never owned a car.
3)Despite having been to Pisa 12 times have never visited the Leaning tower (I lived in Naples and it was cheaper to fly to Pisa and then get the train when coming from UK).
4)Despite living in Barcelona for 15 years i,ve never been inside Sagrada Familia (ride past it everyday and can see it now) or The Picasso museum.
5)I've never eaten Duck,Rabbit,Goose,Venison or many other types of meat(I'm not a veggie) nor Sashimi or any type of japanese Sushi roll despite spending 3 months there.

in any TV "reality" or "talent" show.

a mate was buying expensive jeans but never bought anything, the food hall is impressive never been inside Selfridges though.
I've never been to Paris for some reason.

It's actually quite difficult because you somehow need to have already thought about it but here are my few:
1. I've never jumped out of a plane. (Don't want to)
2. I've never flown in a helicopter. (I'd like to)
3. I've never seen Wallace & Grommit (I hate the creature comfort ads)
4. I've never deep sea dived. (I don't want to)
5. I've never voted. (One day I probably will)
6. I've never bungee jumped (I nearly did once, not a chance now)
7. I've never smoked a cigarette (not even a puff - never wanted to)
8. I've never taken recreational drugs. (probably because of 7)
9. I've never flown a plane. (I'd like to have a go though!)
10. I've never had a pet. (Despite constant nagging from the FPO)
.. actually it was quite easy once I got going and there must be many many more!

Britain's Got Talent this time around and I feel somehow...clean.

Skateboarded
Drank Red Bull
Been in a mosh pit
or
Looked into a telescope

I've never;

1. Been in an Ikea
2. Been to France
3. Been called up for jury service
4. Injected drugs
5. Watched Big Brother (or indeed any reality TV)
6. Played golf
7. Been tattooed
8. Been on a stag do
9. Been best man at a wedding
10. Been able to resist making lists like this

watched eastenders, corrie or any other soap
won a competition
bought a lottery ticket
been to a nightclub
entered a bookmakers
had a fight
had a one night stand
been skiing
stayed in hospital
had a pet

been to me.

...knowingly encountered another Word reader in the real world
...seen Gone With the Wind
...been in a fight or had to flee from the prospect of one
...travelled across Europe
...driven a proper sports car

... watched an entire game of televised team sport, of any kind.
... been to any continent other than Europe and America. This will hopefully change.
... really "got" The Beatles.

Don't have any, never will.

Seen ET
Seen Grease
Fully explored the town and environs I've been living in for 9 years.
Felt any religious belief
Want to do THAT again...
Knowingly Undersold.

eaten pizza - don't like cheese. I gather you can get them without it but I've never felt the need.

been to an Ikea. My brother's descriptions of his experiences put me off completely.

bought anything off Ebay

banked online

Believed in any God.
Watched Top Gear.
Broken a bone.
Drunk Gin.
Loved any Footballer as much as George Best.
Read War and Peace.
Heard a more exciting guitarist than Jimi Hendrix.
Played Rugby.
Juggled.
Seen the Northern Lights.
The last one has always been an ambition which one day I hope to satisfy.

Haven't got the doh!

Had a barbecue.
Died.

I know which I'd rather do first.

never contributed to this thread. Damn!!

...taken acid, been skiing, ridden a motorbike, seen a whale.

but if you indulged yourself with a dose of Acid or Mushrooms you could probably witness a Whale riding a motorcycle while you ski past trying to cling on to your tentative grip on unreality.

Nor intend to;

Place a bet
Buy a copy of the Guardian
Ice skate
Use a chainsaw
Ride a motor bike
Own an affinity/loyalty card
Visit Russia
Pay for subscription television (apart from the licence)

...bleurrrghhhfffaeeeebblllaaaahh...
( me after mistaking this thread for the famous drinking game where you have to take a swig every time someone says "I have never..." followed by something that you have done. Must lie down now... )

Played a fruit machine.
(Looked at them in pubs whilst waiting for someone, then always thought, looks complicated, not that fun and stacked against the player)

Watched 24.
(When i realized i'd missed the first episode i thought, it makes sense to see this from the beginning and in the right order, i'll wait til they show it again. Missed the start of that too.)

Been to Spain. (Don't know why, just never felt the pull. Anyone want to try and sell it to me?)

...Visited the USA: My favourite bands come from the United States, as do many of my favourite authors. It’s a magnificent country and yet I have no desire to go there.

...Knowingly consumed Vodka: I reached a point with Whiskey, Baileys, Malibu, Southern Comfort and Port (taken individually – not as a cocktail) where I had so many horrendous experiences that, if you put a tumbler of any of the above in front of me, my Pavlovian response would be to vomit on my shoes. Vodka was the spirit that I was saving for my twilight years. Now that I’m sick and have been strongly advised not to drink any more, the golden retirement that I envisaged for myself, supping Black Russians in some backwater Cuban village is nothing more than a pipe dream.

...Introduced a partner to anyone in my family.

...Used a credit card: I may have to bite the bullet soon, as purchasing things such as gig tickets is virtually impossible without one.

...Been in debt: I can fritter away money with the best of them, but I will eke out a living on pennies rather than spend what I haven’t got.

...I feel like I’ve covered every square inch of London and yet my dislike of crowds and unwillingness to commit an act of high treason means that I have never set foot inside The Tower of London.

...Been a father: Even if this were to happen right now, at this very second, I probably wouldn’t live long enough see my offspring tried in court as adults. Being an uncle is great fun, although this morning it was pointed out to me that I forgot my Nephew’s/Godson’s birthday, so obviously I’m not a very good one.

...Played drums in The Fall:

...Won the Monaco Grand Prix: The enclosed track and absence of run-off areas make this iconic F1 circuit unsuited to my flamboyant driving style. The fact that I haven’t sat behind the wheel of a car since 2002 may also be cause for concern.

...Washed my black cardigan: I got it for Christmas four years ago. The label says hand wash only and I just never have the time or the motivation. It doesn’t smell; maybe it does and I’ve just got used to it.

Owned an album by Bob Dylan, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones.

Flown business class.

Sat in a Porsche.

Been to Paris.

Had a tattoo

Skied, snowboarded, canoed, scuba dived, waterskied or bungee jumped

Drunk creme de whatsit

Laerned to tpye

Watched 24, X Files, The Sopranos or The Wire (there.... I said it)

I might have expected to have flown into space by now. Sadly not yet.

Venice. Want to but not been yet. Ditto Barcelona.

Backwards7 write for Da Word

... made my bed out in the cold
... lost my temper in a bar room fight
... lost my woman overnight
... felt magic as crazy as this
... saw moons, knew the meaning of the sea
... held emotion in the palm of my hand
... felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree

had my mother-in-law around for dinner even though I have been married (and still am) for 22 years and she lives only 4 miles from home. She can also drive.

1) I have never declared, "Of course their first album was the best". (Because it's usually not true).

2) I have never declared, "Of course they went right off when Gabriel left". (Because they got better for my taste . . . and so did Gabriel).

3) I have never declared, "Of course After The Goldrush was a much better album than Harvest". (Because it wasn't).

4) I have never made a list of FOUR items until today. (Because I'm a great fan of THREE-, FIVE-, SEVEN- and TEN- item lists).

I have never driven a car. Never had one lesson (to quote Ferris Bueller). The pressure to do so from friends and wife is immense.

I have never seen The Great Escape, Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, Kelly's Heroes, Annie, the King and I or Lawrence of Arabia. Anything they tend to show on TV over the holidays is a no no for me.

I have never seen the Rolling Stones live.

I have never been genuinely interested in any of my jobs. Career progression has been achieved only by 'faking it'.

I have never understood the appeal of Gerry Anderson creations.

I have never found money and tried to give it back to the rightful owner.

Had sex outdoors

Bought a scratch card

Eaten Marzipan

Seen Saturday night fever

Managed to put a tent up correctly first time

" Got The Smiths " (Or Morrisseys solo stuff) - Surely I am not the only person who thinks that his singing sounds like whinging ??

... dumped a girlfriend (It's always been the other way round),
... taken drugs,
... listened to 'Dancing Queen' in its entirety (I've always ran out the room or blocked my ears),
... eaten sushi,
... lived alone,
... worn contact lenses,
... blamed it on the boogie.

Been tall
Spoken with rising intonation
Illegally downloaded music
Been to Newcastle on Tyne or Glasgow
Hit anyone
Smoked a pipe
Drunk milk (since I was a baby)
Eaten beetroot
Owned a hamster or gerbil, or any other mousey/ratty thing
Used an electric drill
Liked Bob Dylan

Love 60s Who.....never seen Quadrophenia after the first 20 mins.
Driven a car.
Seen any blockbuster since Jaws (which I didn't like).
Seen a football match at the new Wembley, though I've seen the three Rugby League finals.

eaten oysters
had a job I loved
been in love for real
been to a rock festival

But I just might - all except number one!

I have never

...oohed and aaahed over chocolate
...seen Dirty Dancing in full
...bought a record by Take That, Boylife, Westzone or any other boy-band
...sung I Will Survive at Karaoke (I sang Hotel California once)
...seen The Breakfast Club, Porky's, The Karate Kid, Goonies or Gremlins
...read a book in the 'Sweet Valley High' series or anything by Virginia Andrews
...bought any CD with "the ultimate collection" in its title