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Things you can't do in pop music anymore

David Hepworth's picture

We've got a Bee Gees Greatest Hits playing at the moment in the office. We're on to a track called "Fanny Be Tender With My Love". You wouldn't find a promotion man these days prepared to take that into Radio One. What else happened once in pop music that wouldn't happen any more?

0

The Black And White Minstrels?

0
badger_king | 28 January 2010 - 12:51pm

Musicians would agree

to be interviewed without any interference from their PR.

1
robram | 28 January 2010 - 12:53pm

Songs about young girls sung by older men

Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen
You're Sixteen

etc...

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Paul Waring | 28 January 2010 - 1:02pm

Indeed

Was going to say same thing - see also mentions of 'school'.

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kb | 28 January 2010 - 1:04pm

"Sitting on a park bench...

...eyeing little girls with bad intent"

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Fraser Lewry | 28 January 2010 - 1:07pm

Aerosmith

"Schoolgirl sleazy with a classic kind of sassy, little skirt hanging way up her knees...."

Excuse me, Officer?

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Six Dog | 28 January 2010 - 1:45pm

Sparks - "Young girls"


I know Ron has a habit of writing songs on dodgy subjects with his tongue lodged firmly in his cheek, but this is a little unsettling.

See also "White Women", with it's chorus of:

"As long as they're white
As long as they're white
As long as they're white from head to toe
As long as they're white
As long as they're white
As long as they're white I'll have a go"

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Cadabra | 28 January 2010 - 3:18pm

Fetch the flaming torches

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes

So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far

1
Captain Underpants | 28 January 2010 - 3:37pm

Apparently

that is George Bush Jr's favourite song - eww, he's such a wrong 'un!

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cathtrish | 28 January 2010 - 6:00pm

*grabs pitchfork*

quick, storm the castle and burn the beast!

that song has always made my skin crawl...

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Hannah | 28 January 2010 - 8:57pm

On a vaguely similar note...

...is it just me who feels slightly queasy listening to the Frank and Nancy Sinatra duet 'Somethin' Stupid'?

Always found it just a little... odd.

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Specs_Beard | 28 January 2010 - 11:14pm

No it's not just you

I've always thought that there was something decidedly creepy about it.

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moleye151 | 10 February 2010 - 2:07pm

.

.

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Swash | 28 January 2010 - 3:54pm

I wonder if

Oliver's Army, which, regardless of the context, uses the n word, would ever get played these days.

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The Fat White Duke | 28 January 2010 - 1:05pm

Oliver's Army

Still gets plenty of plays on my radio. Although, in essence, you're right - a new track with that lyric would be a tough sell to mainstream radio.

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johnlyons121 | 28 January 2010 - 1:43pm

Minipops

It would all end up like the final scene of "Little Miss Sunshine"

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Richie B | 28 January 2010 - 1:06pm

I was just

going to mention the MiniPops but there was no way on Earth I would post a YouTube clip, as the next post would obviously be a Pedobear (see http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pedobear)

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illuminatus | 10 February 2010 - 2:34pm

There's a very good reason..

and the same reason why I didn't. Remember Kiddistare from the Day Today?

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Richie B | 10 February 2010 - 2:38pm

The Bee Gees, again..

"She's gypsy and she's trouble..."

"Err, Barry, there are 7 policemen, dressed in their militia fatigues, at the door".

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billyous | 28 January 2010 - 1:13pm

"Gypsies, tramps and thieves.."

See "Bee Gees" above.

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billyous | 28 January 2010 - 1:14pm

Should be

Travellers, people of no fixed abode and the socially disadvantaged...

I tell you, it's political correctness gone mad. Harumph!

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DougieJ | 28 January 2010 - 6:28pm

Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport

'Let me Abos go loose, Lou
Let me Abos go loose
They're of no further use, Lou
So let me Abos go loose'

I know Rolf has since expressed regret, but I bought a kids' CD a couple of years ago and the version of TMKDS still contained those lyrics.

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robram | 28 January 2010 - 1:17pm

That Rod Stewart raincoat LP cover

...nooooo!

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Olthwaite | 28 January 2010 - 1:18pm

Weird...

I was uploading it just as you posted your comment!

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Patrick Crowther | 28 January 2010 - 1:22pm

13

by Big Star

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Joe R | 28 January 2010 - 1:21pm

Album covers like this...

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Patrick Crowther | 28 January 2010 - 1:21pm

Would Fat Bottomed Girls

get airplay on Radio 1 or 2 now, or 6music? Did it then?

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Mr Fade | 28 January 2010 - 1:31pm

Can't see what's wrong with this...

I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me

Ah, ok...

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DougieJ | 29 January 2010 - 9:44pm

also

laying down by the red firelight and letting it all hang out is a reasonable hobby in my book

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Glenbervie | 2 February 2010 - 9:00pm

guitar solos

.

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Mavis Diles | 28 January 2010 - 1:39pm

Sax solos.

as I mentioned previously

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DougieJ | 29 January 2010 - 9:46pm

'all dressed up for school ... ooh, what a turn-on'


Deemed 'unsuitable' for release when it was made in 1964, although, In context, it's not really pervy at all. It's not an older man ogling a young schoolgirl, but a contemporary noting that a tomboy-ish fellow pupil has scrubbed up well.

With regards Fanny, it wasn't a single in the Uk but was in the US, presumably because over there Fanny doesn't have quite the same meaning and is also a pretty common name. It's still played on the radio here though, as much as any Bee Gees oldie. It's a staple of Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs.

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Richard Lowe | 28 January 2010 - 1:46pm

Rock n Roll Nigger?

Despite the "context"?

Would Patti get away with the line "Jimi Hendrix, was a nigger..." nowadays, regardless of the Jackson Pollock and Grandma rubbish that follows it?

I'd love to hear a 3 way conversation with Patti, record company and agent if that was released in 2010.

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Six Dog | 28 January 2010 - 1:47pm

Anything other than 4/4 time

Generally the bass drum has to have the bump, bump-bump pattern at the least, or more likely the bump, b-bum-bump hip hop feel. Very little deviates from this any more.

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Mavis Diles | 28 January 2010 - 1:47pm

Good observation

Regrettable, and true. It's hard now to hear something like Hey Joe or Golden Brown and remember that pop music never used to sound homogeneous (sp??).

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Stephen Merrick | 30 January 2010 - 1:43am

I doubt whether

The Cure's 'Killing an Arab' will be covered by an X-factor contestant or played on the Radio.

1
Sour Crout | 28 January 2010 - 1:54pm

The Sun Has Got His Hat on.....

has some very dubious lyrics that may not be appropiate these days! It was accidenatlly played on Jon Richardsons show last year, made me stop my grinning and drop my linen.

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FreakGene | 28 January 2010 - 2:04pm

Dubious lyrics

A friend of mine is a Telegraph reader, and dreaded his daughter going to school, as she will from September, because of the thought of her being manipulated by the dreaded Socialist state authorities. He was re-assured when being shown around his chosen school (though offers have not been sent out yet) when he found a classroom of children sing the aforementioned The Sun Has Got His Hat On with the original lyric.

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Gatz | 28 January 2010 - 2:22pm

What's dubious about...

"...he's been roasting peanuts
Out in Timbuktoo..."

Eh?

Oh.

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Paul Waring | 28 January 2010 - 2:54pm

Eenie Meenie Minie Mo

Alternative versions of this poem have the word nigger instead of tiger, which in the eyes of some has tainted the rhyme entirely.
Eeny, meena, mina, mo,
Catch a nigger by the toe;
If he squeals let him go,
Eena, meena, mina, mo.[1]
This version was similar to that reported as the most common version among American schoolchildren in 1888.[4] It was used in the chorus of Bert Fitzgibbon's 1906 song "Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo":
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo,
Catch a nigger by his toe,
If he won't work then let him go;
Skidum, skidee, skidoo.
But when you get money, your little bride
Will surely find out where you hide,
So there's the door and when I count four,
Then out goes you.[5]
It was also used by Rudyard Kipling in his "A Counting-Out Song", from Land and Sea Tales for Scouts and Guides, published in 1935.[6] This may have helped popularise this version in Britain where it seems to have replaced all earlier versions until late twentieth century.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eeny,_meeny,_miny,_moe

When I were a lad, in the dim and distant 1970s, I have to admit that this was the version we sung, completely unthinkingly, hard though it is now to believe.

Thankfully, the version my daughter now sings replaces the 'n' word with 'frog'. Although, come to think about it, possibly francophone?!

Baa Baa Black Sheep is still alive and well though, at the last count...

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DougieJ | 28 January 2010 - 6:45pm

Hmm.

We always used "Ip, dip, dog-shit, you are not it, O-U-T spells out" when making important executive playground decisions.

1
Lenny Law | 28 January 2010 - 11:48pm

AC/DC, Shake A Leg

Where do I claim my $5 ?

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Harold Holt | 28 January 2010 - 2:35pm

AC/DC? A little unfair......

Like shooting fish in a barrell!

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Six Dog | 28 January 2010 - 4:02pm

I wasn't saying AC/DC couldn't do Shake A Leg

...it was the post quoting a line from the song... "stop your grinnin and drop your linen"...I was just being a smart arse (I get so few opportunities).

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Harold Holt | 28 January 2010 - 11:32pm

Not all their songs are dodgy...

they've got a nice one called Sink The Pink that's about snooker.

3
Patrick Crowther | 28 January 2010 - 6:24pm

Shoot To Thrill

About Olympic Skeet Shooting.

Apparently.

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Six Dog | 29 January 2010 - 1:45pm

Oh the shame

Yes, DougieJ, I too used the infamous n-word eenie meenie chant in the playground. We didn't think twice about it.

And... apologies if I'm being really thick here, but what's controversial about The Sun Has Got His Hat On? Seriously! Have I missed something?

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Stephen Merrick | 30 January 2010 - 1:48am

Bloomin eck

It's ok, I've just googled it.

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Stephen Merrick | 30 January 2010 - 1:58am

Bloomin' eck indeed!

I've just googled it as well. Just goes to show, you never can tell...

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DougieJ | 30 January 2010 - 2:11am

on a lighter note

Hopefully now I would never get 'Prince the talking dog' with 'Sausages' signed to EMI.

The evidence http://rowlandjones.squarespace.com/journals/

Please forgive me.

1
rowlandwithaw | 28 January 2010 - 3:32pm

Well done sir, you were the

Well done sir, you were the Simon Cowell of your generation! The clip from That's Life still makes me laugh, although I don't suppose Esther Rantzen relishes the idea that, despite her Child Line achievements, this will be the one thing forever associated with her in people's minds


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Andy Lynes | 29 January 2010 - 1:07pm

Bugger me

I have that record; is it a valuable collector's item? The Antiques Roadshow beckons!

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Beany | 29 January 2010 - 8:34pm

Isn't that

a young Stewart Lee?

1
DougieJ | 29 January 2010 - 9:36pm

Happy Talk - Captain Sensible

The only artist to get the "C" word played in a song on the radio. I'm sure I've heard it but perhaps the lyric is an urban myth.

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Pinmonkey | 28 January 2010 - 6:50pm

You're meaning the lyric

You're meaning the lyric "Golly baby, I'm a lucky cuss" surely.

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Trevor_Raggatt | 28 January 2010 - 9:25pm

It is "cuss"

Because it rhymes with "You and me are lucky to be us"

But it does certainly sound as if he says another word.

The one tune featuring the "C" word. Prominently. And deliberately. Country House. Emphasis very much on the first syllable, particularly when done live on TOTP.

Now then. Two songs which feature the word "fuck" which hit the top twenty and were played, uncut and unnoticed, again and again, by Radio 1. Name them and let's have the YouTube bits to confirm..

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Lenny Law | 28 January 2010 - 11:54pm

Hey Jude was the first

(although possibly not one you'll be thinking of)

Just about three minutes in, after '...let her under your skin...', one of the Fabs makes a slip and there is a very noticeable 'fuckin' 'ell' in the background.

Once you've noticed it, or had it pointed out, you'll hear it every time (and start singing it, if you're not careful).

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Paul Waring | 29 January 2010 - 11:37am

Now that

is why I find this place so edukashunal. Hilarious. And you're right i can't stop noticing it now I've found it. 30 years of listening to that and something new leaps out of it.

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Harold Holt | 30 January 2010 - 1:10pm

Wings...

..."With a Little Luck" first line, allegedly changes one consonant.

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Richie B | 29 January 2010 - 12:52pm

The Kinks

I've always thought (without bothering to check) that Ray Davies sings "the air pollution is a-fucking up my eye" on 'Apeman'.

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Tom | 29 January 2010 - 12:57pm

None yet..

I'm thinking of CW McCall's "Convoy" and Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life"

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Lenny Law | 29 January 2010 - 1:34pm

Now there I was,

quite smug in the knowledge my ring tones are all about oral sex and masturbation (Semi Charmed Life and Turning Japanese), getting everyone in the office humming along (so to speak).

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Harold Holt | 30 January 2010 - 1:07pm

Pretty Vacant?

No ambiguity as to where Johnny's pronounciation is inflected!

1
Six Dog | 29 January 2010 - 1:46pm

Unbelievable, EMF

Sample goes, "Woah! What the f- was that?"

Doesn't it?

0
Joe Robert | 29 January 2010 - 1:59pm

Think so (***boring obscurity alert**)

though without the "whoah" - if my unreliable memory serves (and the source was reliable in the first place) it's a Last Poets sample used by Cathal Coughlan on one of his Only Losers Take the Bus remixes and borrowed by the producer who was also doing the EMF record.

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spt | 29 January 2010 - 10:49pm

Supertramp - Dreamer

They certainly changed the "stupid little dreamer" to something stronger when I saw them perform it on TV. I think.

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Beany | 29 January 2010 - 8:36pm

Singing live

seems to have gone out of fashion. Or, if in a studio, singing without autotune appears to be a bit of a no-no.

0
Mark JF | 28 January 2010 - 7:19pm

Peppermint Lump

That's Pete Townshend and it's on Stiff Records..!

1
Beany | 28 January 2010 - 7:22pm

I had this single

But never felt seedy about it until now

0
moleye151 | 10 February 2010 - 2:33pm

Song For Swinging Lovers


0
Lucas Hare | 28 January 2010 - 7:44pm

marrying your cousin...

I would imagine marrying your 13-year old cousin, a la Jerry Lee Lewis, probably ranks quite high.

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the_saint | 28 January 2010 - 7:53pm
torrential1 | 28 January 2010 - 8:48pm

Accrington Stanley?

...

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Tom | 28 January 2010 - 9:32pm

Wahey! Country Jug are playing!

The bill is complete!

0
Patrick Crowther | 29 January 2010 - 10:18am

"Wouldn't it be nice"

I'm not sure these days you would imply that the only way to spend the night together was to be married - and then you'd be happy.

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Pilleus Jr | 28 January 2010 - 9:28pm

I love the lyrics though.

The naivete in 'maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true' is very touching. The post-modern, revisionist thing to do would be to say Brian was being ironic, but I like to think it was genuine.

3
DougieJ | 29 January 2010 - 9:41pm

Blind Faith

And whilst we're on the underage topic - how's about that Blind Faith sleeve then?

0
davidhaslam | 28 January 2010 - 10:29pm

Novelty records

or singing puppets or mega mixes. Jive Bunny: Now there was a band

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Dave Amitri | 28 January 2010 - 11:37pm

Dodgy album covers.

Houses of The Holy. That other one with the girl fondling the stainless steel plane thingy. The Sex Pistols one. Bow Wow Wow's Dejeuner Sur L'Herbe takeoff.. Probably Nevermind as well

They were all a bit iffy at the time.. now.. bloody hell..

1
Lenny Law | 29 January 2010 - 12:00am

that Radio 4

had an entire programme on the Hipgnosis sleeve for HotH the other day ... made by the young boy (now 40something?) who featured on the cover with his sister ... he interviewed his mum, his sis, the designer and possibly some other folk (but not page, plant or jones) ... weird thing was that in all those years, he'd never listened to the actual record (he claimed) but was unsettled by the apocalyptic tone of the cover

(reading between the lines, his sis just wanted him to get over himself because none of it seemed to bother her, although she acknowledged she wouldn't have her kids scrambling about naked on album covers now)

when the chap finally listened to HotH (opening track, the jolly Song Remains the Same) he was pleasantly surprised and "a weight lifted" or words to that effect ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00qfzbw

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Glenbervie | 9 February 2010 - 1:08am

I listened to the programme in my car

enroute to somewhere dismal for work and sorry, but I just do not believe that he had never listened to the album or even heard any of the songs from it. I mean, come on - if you were pictured on the cover of a HOTHH album, even a second string one, would you not be a teeny bit curious as to what it sounded like?

0
Steerpike | 9 February 2010 - 9:30pm

agreed

sounded a bit unlikely to me too

0
Glenbervie | 10 February 2010 - 6:23pm

Kinky Boots

Patrick Macnee's salacious interjection 'Sexy little schoolgirls!' would be catnip to today's tabloids.

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Slotbadger | 29 January 2010 - 1:11pm

Well..

2 that spring to mind - Icehouse "Hey Little Girl", bit dodgy, and David Crosby's "Tamalpais High (At About 3)", which he was quoted as saying is actually about perving on schoolgirls at end of school time. But that's just my mind of course.

0
Harold Holt | 2 February 2010 - 2:46am

On a similar theme...

Naming your band Teenage Fanclub...

0
DougieJ | 2 February 2010 - 8:53pm

Teenage Fanclub

Weren't they originally called Teenage Fanny? Or is that an urban myth?

0
Gatz | 2 February 2010 - 10:29pm

Lemon Incest

This little ditty by Serge Gainsbourg in duet with his daughter Charlotte Gainsbourg, might raise a monobrow today, to say the least.

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Steerpike | 2 February 2010 - 10:16pm

Don't think so

it was meant as a provocative shock when it was released - and (at least in France) was treated as a real scandal, to the delight of Mr. Serge, obviously.

And as for all these examples like "sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent..." - can't you describe (supposedly) negative things in pop songs anymore? (It's not that Ian Anderson is saying "Come on, let's all sit on a park bench and...", is it?)

Most of these "shocking" PC-friendly quotes only work on the assumption that the singer is actually making a personal statement about his private life when he sings a song. That's like accusing Agatha Christie for multiple murders.

0
Mychael | 4 February 2010 - 9:04am

Anderson

I don't think the line is shocking at all - I just don't think the record would get made today, and that was the original question. Rightly or wrongly, it's a different emotional climate, and most artists will tailor their material accordingly. Like it or not, some subject matter still appears to be off limits.

0
Fraser Lewry | 4 February 2010 - 9:13am

Lemon Incest

This little ditty by Serge Gainsbourg in duet with his daughter Charlotte Gainsbourg, might raise a monobrow today, to say the least.

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Steerpike | 2 February 2010 - 10:18pm

Jim Dale - Twinky

You will not be able to release singles like this, taken from the film Twinky. Features Susan George as a 16 year-old schoolgirl and Charles Bronson as a middle aged writer of pornographic novels.

0
Beany | 9 February 2010 - 8:31pm

that

is genuinely sinister.

0
badger_king | 10 February 2010 - 2:03pm

Some spade said "rock n' rollers..

they're all the same"

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chabsy | 9 February 2010 - 9:41pm
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