Things we bought from the small ads
Posted by David Hepworth on 3 May 2008 - 12:36pm.
Now they have Primark and the web I suppose there's no longer any need for kids in small towns to send a postal order to a faraway company and then wait 28 days in order to be the only one around the war memorial who's the owner of a music note jumper or pointed side buckle shoes "as supplied to The Jam".
But back in the early 80s companies like Melanddi and Danilo were the core advertisers of magazines like Smash Hits. And they advertised a lot because it worked. Did anyone ever send off for something from a small ad at the back of a music magazine? Did you come home from school every day hoping desperately that it would have arrived? Did it bring you the happiness it promised?
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I bought...
...Led Zep's Live On Blueberry Hill in the early 70's for the unheard of sum of five pounds. Borrowed from my mother as an advance against promised chores and pocket money. Because, you know, if I didn't get the postal order off there and then, they'd all be gone. Can't remember the magazine and haven't a clue what happened to the album.
Oh, and I got a full-length, patchwork denim coat with a fur collar, via an ad in the back of the NME, I should think. I swapped it for Phil Burns's RAF greatcoat during one over-refreshed afternoon and then went round his place later that same day to cancel the deal when I'd like, got my head back together and realised what an awful mistake I'd made.
Loon Pants
I bought some purple loon pants from the back pages of the NME. On arrival I turned them inside out, pinned them so they were tight like drainpipes. Sewed them up, after discarding acres of unwanted material and then prized myself into them. My dad said I looked like a 'bloody ballet dancer'. After I freed myself from their serpentine grasp I never wore them again. Six quid down the drain(pipe).
Knife Point
You can't beat the joy of awaiting for something good to arrive in the post. Thankfully my tickets for Status Quo in Dalby Forest have now arrived; have to catch them once before they peg it. Anyway, I once ordered a penknife through one of these advertisers. Sadly on opening the package, it was confiscated by my father as I was only eight at the time. I never saw it again for a while, but it now has proud residence in the shoe cleaning box. Useful for tackling dry mud on shoes.
Platform Boots
I bought a pair of blue platform boots from an ad in the back of the NME, early 1970s. I wore them to my first ever gig, The Faces at the Brixton Sundown. I then wore them the next day when I went out to collect the Christmas tips from my paper-round. Half way round, one of the heels broke off and I had to limp home on my one good boot. They were so cheap and nasty that repair was not an option, so my mum threw them away and I had to start saving again. I dunno, kids these days....they don't know they're born etc.
more loon pants
The only item I ever bught from the back pages of Sounds was a pair of incrdibly bright yellow loon pants. I think I was 14 and wore them to my first gig - The Groundhogs. Found out their audience were more grubby denim than primrose drill cotton. By the time I'd worn them to see Hawkwind, realised that the Belisha beacon styling was more Marc Bolan than Lemmy and put them away for good.
Small ads
I always remember an ad for a record shop in the back of the NME that used the slogan "Service with a smirk". Made me laugh anyway.