now I agree that the word is mighty good read but i wish you would stop pretending to be a music magazine. A media mag perhaps? There are so few album reviews and more stuff about TV, radio, comedy,personalites and cinema than music these days. No doubt you can disprove this statistically by adding up column inches much in the way that politicians try to prove that they have our best interests at heart but I start to be disappointed.

Whoops there goes my place in heaven

Scunts

"This new record is our best yet. I know everyone says that but it really is.

Not a musician’s cliché but one from stand-up comedians. “I never thought of being a comedian, until I was in a comedy club one night, and I’d had a few drinks, and my friends said you’re funny and egged me on to get up there. And after standing on that stage, I knew that this was what I wanted to do.”

I think it was Fred MacAulay who gave a more realistic view. He was in the audience of a comedy club for the first time, really wanted to go on stage, but realised he couldn’t think of anything to say. After six months, he had worked up about ten minutes of material, which he had tried out on friends. Then he felt he could go on stage for the first time (sober).

It’s a bit of a variation on your third point – the message is, I didn’t really have to try.

we have kids to grannys come along" real meaning "hey I'm still relevant honest"

usually uttered by spotty landfill indie chancers:

"There's always been a dance element to our music"

"We always felt that there was unfinished business"

from The Brothers to Howards' Way to Monarch Of The Glen:

'Even Church services had to start earlier so everyone could get back in time to see it'

I've never thought about it really. I mean, obviously it would be nice to make tons of money, but I'd never compromise the music for financial gain."

Unbearably dull cliche which recently was used, if memory serves, to describe February 1967.

"...and then things changed, literally, overnight..."
Bonus points for inclusion of the phrase "ushered in a new era of..."

"Bright new decade" syndrome we had it again the other day to describe the "bright young people/things". The idea that before they came along everything was grey and dull and nobody had sex. Now admittedly there had been a war but in their parents teenage there was Oscar Wilde and friends doing much the same and so back into history.
But we get the same thing on BBC4 music every week whichever era they are talking about. The movement in the spotlight sprung into life casting aside the doom laden previous era. So synthpop threw aside the dull grey seventies which presumably couldn't stay colourful from the previous programme where the 1960's threw aside the greyness of the 1950's who busily throwing aside the greyness of the 1940's......

..If anyone else likes it, it's a bonus."

"A friend of ours sent our demo to Jerry Crotchitch, just for a laugh like, because Curtains of Heartache is one of Baz's favourite albums of all time. Then, completely out of the blue, Baz got a call. Jerry wanted us to go down to his place in Baton Rouge to record us. We knew he had a bit of a reputation, and in some respects it's true - the guns, the bourbon, the self-contained underwater breathing apparatus - but he's in complete control. It's uncanny, really. And he knew how to bring out the best in us like nobody else before or since. I mean, the tambourine on "Vermilion Vermin", for instance? That's got Jerry written all over it. Without him it would never happened. Never."

used whenever the name Keith Richards crops up or to describe anyone who apires to be just like him when they grow up. It doesn't really mean anything at all.

"We didn't realise at the time exactly HOW huge it was gonna be".

"Change was in the air, man, it was everywhere. Vietnam, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King. I think some of that craziness...just came out in our music".

"Of course it was obvious by '75 that it was time for something new."

"Hendrix, Dylan, Lennon - these people were like Gods to us."

"When I heard "Heartbreak Hotel" coming out of my crackly radio, it was what I'd been waiting for. No-one else was speaking to me. No one else was speaking FOR me"

"It was obvious by the time 'Tusk'/'Sandinista'/'Tales From Topographic Oceans'/'Here, My Dear'/'Neither Fish Nor Flesh'/'Metal Machine Music' came along that things had gone too far, and we just need to take some time out and get back to basics.

and, apropos of not much, here is my new favourite piece of krautrock journalese:

"Post War Germany: From the rubble of a terrible past came a new sound. Not like the traditional music of the old Germany, and certainly not like the music of America or Britain, but a music whose influence is still being felt today..."

in the country" usually uttered by the voiceover

we just knew instantly the chemistry was right. There were magical forces at work, let me tell you."

"This is the album we've been waiting to make"

"well, we thought long and hard about whether to carry on after Baz left and although to a lot of people he was The Fingers, we just weren't ready to call it a day. So we advertised for a new guitarist and although we auditioned a lot of guys - top talent all of them, none of them felt quite right, they just didn't hit the vibe y'know.
Then one night, between gigs - and we were just at the point of giving up - we saw Flick with his band in a backstreet boozer in Lowestoft/Hartlepool/Todmorden and his playing blew us away man, it was like seeing ourselves as we used to be. So we jammed a bit and it was so immediate y'know, he was just born to be a Finger, he was the missing piece man. He's brought a whole new freshness and energy to the band"

"That's why we called it insert name of band here". (Not because we ran out of all ideas during the mixing sessions for the last album when we desperately padded out the 19 minutes we had)

For every solo or Bunnymen album over the last 20 years - it's the best thing I've done since Ocean Rain.

Granted, better than saying sounds like shit.

" we were just messing about in the stuido really and (dominant member) said 'that's it!'. Next thing we know...etc "

"we owe it to our fans, who are the best in the world"

I did admire Liam Gallagher's honesty when he said that they don't feel like they owe it to the fans (to reschedule a tour). I think he said "I don't owe anything to any f***er". Good for him!

"We're not doing any interviews to promote this album".
Which Q, around the time of Kid A, took to actually mean:
We're not doing any interviews, to promote this album."
it's a subtle but clever distinction, methinks.

eh, yeah pretty damn

...there were a lot of drugs about." (rueful shake of the head)

I, and many others, have played this game in particularly boring meetings and offices.
As I'm sure you're aware, a number of pre-printed cards are issued containing the most likley Bullshit phrases or cliches, and the winner is the first to complete their card.

Must try the same with the next BBC4 (or wherever) documetary broadcast.
My guess, about 10 to 20 minutes of an hour long documentary to complete.

we did the collaboration with Cliff Richards/Andrew Lloyd Webber/Budgie because we’ve always been fans, and they’re such a massive influence on pop music today. They are actually really up to speed with the current scene and they love new music.

Trans 'We fought so much in the studio that we've got to the point where each one of us abhors every molecule of oxygen that keeps the others alive. Jesus, if it weren't for the money.....'