Surely Lou Reed has by now travelled so far up his own fundament that an end must be in sight?

.....for the Stones' Virgin-era back catalogue, can I just say that 'Dirty Work' is a shocker!

is a world class bullshit artist, whose only achievement has been to hook up with vastly more gifted collaborators (chiefly John Cale and David Bowie - not, I imagine, Metallica).

On the other hand, he's always looked cool in shades.

With Metal Machine Music.

That is the one and only album I have never heard and do not need to hear based on reviews and common knowledge to know that it is bollocks.

I do think Transformer is a great album though.

The best thing people can usually say about Lou Reed is that they like his early stuff - and I totally agree. The problem is that he looks down on us for it. I've read an interview where he says, and I paraphrase, that he can't believe people still listen to that shit... and he's not saying this in a self depreciating way.

Hot Space by Queen

Anything where a major act drops the ball is good for a laugh.

was truly horrible..so many "metal" bands have copied Metallica's awful dirge style..crap..no rhythm, no melody and no ideas..Oh and Uncle Lou, give up, go home..your missus has more ideas in her little finger..fucking dire please stop the torture now! Oh right, I dont have to listen! Thank God!

The 'licca have so many die hard fans that this has a shot at being Lou's biggest seller ever.
Hilarious!!

After reading the comments above I expected something much worse... and whilst I wouldn't cross the road to go near to a pub playing it, I would take it over anything overtly autotuned, any day of the week.

But I am looking forward to the release of 'Lou Reed' by Metallica & Lulu.

It alienates the core audience of both artistes, creates a common ground populated by the fat end of fuck all and gives me the giggles.
Can any readers think of any other acts of musical collaboration that can equal this, and can anyone out there arrange them?

Lester Bangs: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. AAAHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... wheeze... AAARRRGGHHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... cough... splurt... EEEUURRRGGHA HA HA HA HA."

I love the review in The Quietus:

"95 tedious and excruciating minutes simply eats into time that could be more constructively spent watching the grass grow or perhaps wanking into a sock......For the majority of this ghastly, tuneless work...the effect is that of Lou Reed ranting over some Metallica demos that were never intended for human consumption....this turgid collection continues to trawl its sorry ass with all the vigour of an elephant swimming in a tar pit...it's quite possibly a candidate for one of the worst albums ever made. "

That's just nit-picking isn't it?

but he left the jokes out. Donkeh...

surely, is the worst album of all time by a major artist.

Santana - Guitar Heaven.

I love Santana and I love Smoke On The Water, but put the two together and you've got something truly gruesome.

And that's not all. Carlos also has a go at Sunshine of Your Love, Can't You Hear Me Knocking, Whole Lotta Love, While My Guitar Gently Weeps and, well, you get the picture.

It is an hour and a half long and has about eleven tracks. The last track is twenty minutes long. Yesterday, I read a story in the news concerning a woman convicted of biting her boyfriend's testicles off during an argument. This is the aural equivalent. Rumour has it that they will be performing some of it on Later with Jools in a week or so. Should be the TV comedy highlight of the week.

they were either all looking at each other earnestly and stroking their chins thinking 'we've doen something really, like, deep here man.'

Or they were rolling around pissing themselves with laughter, slapping their thighs and pounding their fists on the floor.

Either way, keep it to yourselves lads.

Gives it four stars in Uncut. Jesus.

is the worst album of all time.

Released in 88 or 89 - vaguely MBV esque without the wit or invention. Or tune. Or vocal.

Truly, truly shite.

Ref the Lou Reed/Metallica album, can I refer to Apu from The Simpsons..

"What WERE you thinking man?!"

I don't know about the worst of all time, but these are albums from artists that I previously liked, but were so bad it went beyond a massive let-down and into 'I no longer like you' territory. If you know what I mean.

The Knife - Tomorrow In A Year

DJ Shadow - The Outsider

Digitalism - I Love You Dude

I also do not get the love for the new Bjork album, which sounds like a load of gibberish to me. But that's another story.

Actually that Knife album is the worst of all time.

Did anyone have to press the stop button earlier?

Here's a suggestion. I'm a big Pat Metheny fan, but what about 'Zero Tolerance For Silence'?

He's a contrary bastard anyway, Lou Reed. I've seen him "do" Berlin three times, and he never does Take My Breath Away.

I met Lou Reed at Glastonbury when VU played. To confirm everyone's prejudices, he was a complete C U Next Tuesday. Cold, arrogant, rancid, emotionless prick who'd have made a great concentration camp guard. Cale wasn't much better, but Mo and Sterling were sweethearts.

or did Uncle Lou really, truly, market a range of glasses (sorry, "eyewear") that hinged up at the top? The lenses could just, flip up, so you could see without them? I swear I'm not making this up. It was like the Opti-Grab in The Jerk, only funnier. Help me, please, somebody!

Need more info on that Glastonbury meeting!!

Didn't Mo recently reveal herself as a Tea Party supporter?

Beavis and Butthead to come out of retirement. Within ten seconds of that dirge starting I could hear them in my head "Hey...check this out!!!".

He says it's like "a successful simulation of how it feels to develop schizophrenia while suffering from a migraine"

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7146312/lou-reed-metallica-album

Drove down to G with my cousin, who's well-connected in the music industry, for a flying visit to catch The Velvets. We were in a backstage area before the gig where Cale and Reed had separate caravans. They were both standing at the entrance to their respective caravans, so, plucking up my courage, I went to Lou and asked could he sign my 'banana' CD. (Naff, I know) He gave me this 1,000 yard stare, grunted as if I'd asked him to massage my piles, and, reluctantly, made some type of squiggle on the liner notes. While I stammered some sycophantic bullshit, he continued to regard me with total contempt. His steadfast determination to be a complete King Cnut is almost admirable. I can honestly say I was near trembling as I crawled away. However, I quickly recovered and the went to Cale. Total miserable bastard, though not as intimidating as Reed. His demeanour was not noticeably improved by my stabbing my Bic into the webbing of his hand. Not intentionally, but I was still flustered from the previous encounter.
Thankfully, I then met Mo who had her daughter on tour with her. She was a sweetheart - very friendly, very chatty and, in startling contrast to Doom and Gloom, was clearly thrilled to be there. She was your average American soccer mom, but, at least, came across as a human being.
I was lucky enough to be up on the stage while they played. I was even luckier that my cousin had hooked me up with the tour manager. The reason for this was that Lord Reed had a hissy fit about 20 minutes in and demanded that the stage be cleared, possibly so his ego could be accommodated. His behaviour was outrageous and would have led to him being severely duffed up in any normal walk of life. Of course, all the stooges then turfed everyone off. Thankfully, the tour manager refused to have me ejected so I was able to enjoy all the gig from a phenomenal vantage point.
At the end, I accosted Sterling as he was coming off stage and asked for his autograph to complete the set. 'Wow! You got Lou to sign!' he exclaimed, genuinely amazed. He was a lovely, unassuming bloke and gave off the same vibe as Mo - just delighted to be recognised and feted for their past work. Shame he died so young.

Can't mix them can you. Like pouring both milk and lemon into your tea. There's something just wrong about it.

Just read a review on Pitchfork that gave this record a 1.0. That's way beyond ouch.

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/15996-lou-reed-metallica/

And the review, which I've now linked to, includes a link to this very thread. The circle is complete.