Someone in the US sent me this the other day. I'm not sure I fit precisely with any particular stage but there are some comments that resonate :

Stage One: The Casual Music Fan

The Casual Music Fan picks up an occasional record here and there but doesn't spend more than $20 or so in a three-month period, if that. Prefers either classic rock standards sticking out of the first few rows of bins at chains like Half Price Books, 180 gram reissues of Bob Dylan LPs, and if young and adventurous buys the new Arcade Fire on vinyl in order to impress college chicks (although listens to the mp3s he downloaded ten-times more than the actual record). Probably owns a copy of "Thriller." Never buys 45s. May refer to records as "vinyls."

Stage Two: The Music Fan

The Music Fan buys and listens to records on a semi-regular basis. Unlike the Casual Fan music is an important part of his life, but it's not a priority. The Music Fan likes to play records in the background while doing other things and in order to set the mood when company comes over. Thinks he owns an impressive collection of around 50 LPs and some singles. Equally content with all formats, but prefers vinyl because of its aura of hip authenticity and something he read once about it "sounding warmer than digital." Thinks his subscription to Rolling Stone, listening to the local alternative radio station, and occasionally glancing at Pitchfork keeps him up to date whenever anything relevant bubbles up from the underground. Probably had a pony-tail back in high school.

Stage Three: The Avid Music Fan

The Avid Music Fan is a lifer. Not only is music a priority, it's a necessity. This is where the sickness takes root. Depending on finances spends anywhere from $50 to $400 on records a month. Listens to records daily. Understands what abbreviations like KBD, OOP, NWW, NWOBHM, and PACS mean and might drop them in conversation. Used to know what SSLD means but wonders if anyone is going to remember it in ten years. Has the inner sleeves of LPs oriented either with the record facing out for easy access or with the record oriented vertically for protection; never both. Owns a lot of 45s and may have more singles than LPs. Checks music websites or message boards daily. Would prefer an original but is OK with a reissue as long as it is well-done. Has probably beat off fantasizing about a female musician at least once.

Stage Four: The Record Collector

The Record Collector's life is consumed with acquiring records. Not only has a trade list, but has other noteworthy collector's trade lists memorized. Actively seeks out former band members, heads of labels, and old collectors for leads on dead stock. Has either met or knows someone who has met Rob Noxious in person. Receives unsolicited correspondence from Fahad Naban. Knows the market value of all relevant genre rarities. Might have the popsike app on his iphone. Can look at any rare UK single released "in the years of anarchy, chaos, and destruction" and tell you if it's a ***3/4 record or a **** record. Would sooner open up a leper foot washing business in his living room than allow a reissue to taint his collection.

Stage Five: The Record Hoarder

The Record Hoarder is a rare case in that it takes a lot of resources to go beyond the Collector stage, but they are out there. Their dwellings are veritable treasure troves of great records, but they can never find what they're looking for due to the sheer overwhelming volume of it all. Every available square inch is taken up with some sort of record shelving unit and records are still haphazardly stacked all over the floor. Whenever you mention an amazing record you have just discovered the record hoarder will almost always own a copy. Unlike the Collector who paid half a month's wage for it he probably fished it out of a bin for $0.50 years ago. Buys multiple copies of the same record with only vague intent to one day sell or trade but can't bring himself to let go of any of them. Unlike the other ranks of record collecting, is so far gone that he can't deescalate and move down to the lower level. Needs to either get rid of everything or will never get rid of anything. Sleeps on a makeshift pilllow made of rolled up Bomp mimeographs. Owns nearly as much embarrassing junk records as mindblowers and likes it that way. Would probably make at least half a million if he decided to ebay his stuff but never will. That's the way the sickness goes.