Entertainment For Lively Minds
The Ultimate Chat Show
One holiday Mrs C and I were chatting about which "celebrities" you would have around for a dinner party. In one of those idle moments I came up with an idea to turn this into a chat show. The five people you would invite sit around a take away (chosen by mutual consent) and just chat - a kind of down the pub type scenario and wait to see what develops. The only rule would be no party politics - that way people's real opinions might come out. Would probably not work but seeing as I am never going to be in a position to make this into a TV programme (although if you are and do I want a percentage and a writers credit)who would be your first 5 guests? My choice would be Monty Don, James May, Stephen Fry, Tony Blair and Kylie. Any other takers?
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Let me see...
Noam Chomsky, Steve Davis, Lemmy, Brian Murphy and Mavis Staples.
Forgive my ignorance
I had to google a couple of your choices - interesting by the way - Brian murphy the actor or the footballer?(Think I can guess)
Brian Murphy AKA George...
in George and Mildred. Legend.
Funnily enough
I have had dinner with the legendary, Brian Murphy. It was twenty years ago at Joe Allens. Windsor Davies, Ray Cooney, Bernard Bresslaw, Carol Hawkins and Liz Gelbhart (the smashing birds from Please Sir!) was also at the table.
Don't ask.
Mavis Staples ...
... from the days when unions ruled the office and everybody was allocated one function and one function only ... from birth.
I think Noam Chomsky would be a nightmare for the presenter
He never shuts up, drones on and on. He basically always says the same thing on every subject as well ... America is to blame whatever the topic
Mmmm.
Adolf Hitler, George Orwell, Kenneth Williams, Francis Bacon and Oliver Reed.
'Stop
... messing about',
Mostly music guys
Jerry Wexler, Willie Nelson (with his weed), Professor Longhair and Jimmy Reid the trade unionist. I'll change my mind about now.
There is always episode 2
:)
I'd invite.............
Lisa Tarbuck
Johnny Green (Clash's Tour Manager - see the bonus interviews from The Future Is Unwritten)
Daniel Kitson
E from The Eels
Drew Barrymore
I'd like to go that one!
that would be a great night.
Nice Idea, Tough Choice
Neil Tennant
Eddie Izzard
Thomas Dolby
Kristin Hersh
Iain Banks
My Five
Norma Waterson
Ian Rankin
Kenneth Clarke
Johnny Depp
Deke Leonard
I'd go for
P J O'Rouke
Nick Lowe
Steve Martin
Sarah Millican
Idris Elba
Five Alive
Neil Tennant
Benny From Abba
Clive James
Douglas Coupland
Miranda Hart
Or alternatively
David Tennant
Benny from Crossroads
Sally James
Stewart Copeland
Tony Hart
I think Benny from Crossroads ...
... might Miss Diane.
Sally James!!!
You've dragged that one out the bottom of the cupboard!!
week 3
Harvel Kietel (The Bad Lieutenant)
Benny the Ball from Top Cat
Wendy James
Diana Coupland from Bless This House
Stefanie Powers and Robert Wagner (Hart to Hart)
Oh, that's easy
Mine would be:
Isobel Campbell
Rebecca Taylor from Slow Club
Victoria Coren
Zooey Deschanel
Scarlett Johansen
And, um... sorry... what was the question again?
Zooey
thanks you for your kind invitation, but sadly, she and Susannah Hoffs are otherwise engaged at my place.
*uncorks bottle*
If Zooey came to my dinner party
I know I'd certainly uncork [EDITED ON GROUNDS OF TASTE AND DECENCY. MIND BLEACH AVAILABLE]
It's a bit inward-looking, but..
Radcliffe, Maconie, Mayo, Hepworth, Ellen.
Everyone knows everyone else. Easy company. No-one's going to dominate the conversation or take the arse regarding someone else's comments.
And once everyone's got stuck into the port, you know there's going to be some fine tales flying about.
We would dine in the Hospiz Alm. In St Christoph in the Austrian Arlberg. I'd like Gary Rhodes in the kitchen with wines from the phenomenal cellar chosen by Tim Atkin.
presumably
Peri Gilpin as your waitress for the evening?
Ooh..
I hadn't thought of that.
Or Eve Best. Or maybe Fiona Bruce.
This would be good telly...
Will Self
Janet Jackson
Lorraine Kelly
David Bowie
Russell Brand
It was good telly
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinner_for_Five
Ruby Wax
Was there not also a Ruby Wax show of a similar stripe on BBC2? Late Nineties perhaps? I remember Carrie Fisher being one of her guests, but that's about all I do remember of it…
Actually, Carrie Fisher, there's your ultimate chat show/dinner party guest right there.
She might bring her metal bikini
Carrie's trying to fit back into it (she's lost 50 pounds!!).
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/203264/20110824/carrie-fisher-weight-los...
Andy Partridge (General all
Andy Partridge (General all round hero)
Andrew Graham-Dixon (Art critic, loved his "Art of..." series)
Racquel Martinez (Spanish newsreader and current el toro muse)
Richard Hawley (Articulate, intelligent, filthy jokes)
Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall (seems like a good all round guy)
The following would be quite spiky
and entertaining.
James Cameron, the great journalist.
Chris Mullin, heard him promote his diaries - very funny.
Richard Ingrams.
Auberon Waugh.
Jeffrey Bernard.
Self-contained
Dave Dee
Dozy
Beaky
Mick
Titch
Five dead
Peter Cook
Stan Laurel
Jayne Mansfield
Robert Morley
Les Dawson
The waiter would be Herve Villachaize (Tattoo from Fantasy Island)
Lobster would be off the menu.
Herve, wot flavour crisps would you like?
The plain, the plain....
Guest List
John Lydon
Noel Gallagher
Stan Bowles
Ray Winstone
Michael Caine
OK her's my five
Stephen Fry
Danny Baker
Rick Wakeman
David Attenborough
Kate Winslett
You got two of mine
Mr Fry
Mr Wakeman
Ross Noble
Greg Proops [I still laugh when, in a one-on-one interview with Clive Anderson, Clive gives a 2 minute introductory question, which Proops responds with "Oh sorry, are you talking to me?"]
Ricky Gervais was always great on Jonathan Ross so I'll pick him over Rob Brydon. Close though.
OK
Jesus, Mohammed, The Bhuddha, Richard Dawking.
And
Stephen Hawkins?
Or...
Rudy Wells from The Six Million Dollar Man
Desiree Cousteau from Electric Blue VHS 005
PC Copper from Bod
That hitch-hiker bloke from Hammer House Of Horror with the black fingernail
Den Hegarty (bass baritone singer from Darts/Tiswas stooge)
Fish and chips would be served by the brilliant late That's Life presenter, Glyn Worsnip!
My guests...
Jeremy Paxman
John Lydon
Brian Eno
Brian Sewell
Sarah Silverman
I've changed my mind...
Oliver Postgate
Jim Henson
Bagpuss
Grover
Animal
light blue touch paper...
Oliver Reed
Keith Allen
Janet Street Porter
Helen Mirren
Peter Cook
can Fraser and Hannah
Do the catering?
Lenny
could make one of his pies.
We now have enough for at least three series
The only thing left to decide is who's in the house band and what the show will be called.
Mine
Viv Stanshall
Bob Monkhouse
Michael Palin
Billy Connolly
Jimmy Reid
I think
Keith Richards
Lemmy
Simon Cowell
Danny Baker
and Tracey Emin
might make an interesting group?
My guests tonight are.....
Danny Baker
Clint Eastwood
Jon Stewart
Bill Hicks
Mo Mowlam
a chat show in heaven
Peter Cook (in character as footie manager Alan Latchley)
George Best )both inebriated
& Oliver Reed )
Spike Milligan ) at their brilliant witty best
& Kenneth Williams )
host Michael Parkinson - there was no one better at getting the best out of guests.