Every little what helps, pray tell? Some odious little prick was probably paid a fortune to come up with that, and it doesn't even make sense.

If you do this, it means you're a dick. Fact.

Drives me nuts and I have no idea why.

Seems to be obligatory for any and all politicians to use this turgid, meaningless blether in every interview.

And what "image consultant" (gawd help us) told them all to do that palms-inward-pushing-out thing with their hands? Wankers.

Used when people can't be arsed to think of any more than one example of the (sometimes) lame point they are trying to make.

... What you are saying.

If that is the case, why dont you just fuck off.

..but it's a big ask.

No. You're not being funny. You are trying to get away with saying something rude.

No, lie. I value that more.

Vacuous business and politics - speak. Grrrrrr.

when either used superfluously, eg ' I literally caught the bus', or entirely erroneously, a memorable example being Diane Kruger from Inglourious Basterds talking about being at the Oscar ceremony and '...literally shitting myself'.

What, exactly? Usually uttered by illiterate Oasis fans (present company excluded, of course);>).

Who is they? Why do they know any better?

Your Arsenals, your Liverpools, your Wayne Rooneys, etc.

You're not American, stop it. well, obviously you are...

Sadly - that was me adding "Type Thing" to the end of every imprecise sentence. I might be better now.

Otherwise "Yeah, No" still really annoys me.

That phrase, that's what!

(although we have discussed that one before)

Not really.

throw a curveball, ball park figure, do the math, etc.

You see where this is going.

Please shut up.

How does a phrase get on anyone's tits?

Honestly, it's enough to do my head in.

(Invariably followed by something totally racist)

You're a kiddleywink, you haven't had any 'days'.

Only the maid who stands on the stool in Tom And Jerry is allowed to utter this phrase.

A favourite of TV presenters everywhere. Although I don't expect it will be going away any time s.......

Bollocks!

"I could care less"

No. You halfwitted buffoon. You COULDN'T care less.

And irregardless.

I have a list on my whiteboard at work. "Words we can't use in Simon's office". Top of the list

Invariably followed by something very disrespectful.

'In no way shape or form' - why add 'shape or form'? It's pompous and unnecessary.

'It is what it is' - Yes, it is. You dullard.

Means I posed the question without the slightest interest in your answer but merely as a springboard for this vapid story...

Is there a worse expression?

No, 'I thought..'

Grrrrrrr....

Nawaroimean?

Innit.

It mayketh me to spit, Horatio.

(OK.. I might be lying about the last one..)

outside some strange metaphorical box, or indeed, that it takes place in a sky that is generally considered to be blue, you may awake to find that I have inflated a particularly spiky life raft in your urethra.

I don't care where it comes from it's annoying

but not as annoying as :

"Meh".

Grrr. The rage! The rage!

... and then she turned around and said....

Unless you are reporting the opening speeches at the whirling dervish conference the turning around bit is probably not necessary.

In a similar way to "just sayin'/askin'", these classics are much loved by the Trollerati often in rhetorical contexts.

"So, climate scientists tell us we should believe them when they say we've just had the hottest year on record. Meanwhile, in the real world, we've had more snow this winter than even my granddad can remember. Funny that"

"So, will bankers reduce their bonuses to give lower fuel prices for pensioners. Thought not"

PS "Trollerati" - just my little nod to another growing trend - the appending of "-erati" to form a collective noun. Similar to "-gate" but different.

Sorry, that's the camel's back broken. I am now going offline to weep the hot soaking tears of an unwilling misanthrope. I may be some time.

particularly annoys me. What an ugly and unappealing expression.

Eh? I like the smell of coffee, so I would have thought it was a good thing, but it's not. Apparently.

..........to keep this thread going

Tchuh!

I know it doesn't really fit in here because it's not a phrase as such, but the title of this programme annoys me more than any other. The trouble is, no one I know gets annoyed by it except me. Maybe some fellow Massive pedants will understand what I mean?

I've had sleepless nights about this: as a phrase, "strictly come dancing" means nothing. If you break it up and analyse it, it's obviously an attempt to shoehorn two bits of popular culture into each other to try and describe the show itself: the structure of "Come Dancing" with the camp irony of "Strictly Ballroom".

But really the two phrases clamped together like this fail to actually mean anything. I much prefer the American version: "Dancing With The Stars" - does what it says on the tin. What about "Celebrity Come Dancing" or "Come Dancing With The Stars"?

Grr.

I suppose the most annoying thing about it is that it clearly works as a title, as it is short and memorable and people seem to instantly know what it means without it meaning anything.

I think it's a bit impotent to be annoyed at American spellings and the words used by them, instead of the ones we would use.

It is the widespread use of the word 'poo', either as a verb or a noun, by adults. There are four ways in which you can talk about bowel movements: medical; crude; euphemism and infantile. Of these the infantile option is by far the most grating to me.

An 'end of' for the middle-class.

Drives me nuts when you ask someone in a pub etc. if you can take an empty chair or if you can borrow the ketchup on their table and they say, "Go for it!" Makes me want to smack them!

Now if I were shooting on goal from 40 yards out, or applying to do a Ph.D. at Oxford, or thinking of asking a beautiful girl out, I'd expect to hear "Go for it!" Taking a goddamned chair? Grrr!!

The over use of the word 'like' as practised by younger members of society in particular. Is the whole world just a simile? Is everything 'like' something else, rather than just being what it 'is'?

E.g. "I, like, think it's a good idea to, like, do that."

For fuck's sake, it's either a good idea, or not!

c.f. "you know what I mean?"

bum time

Watergate - that made sense, it was the name of the hotel. But after that sticking "gate" on the end of the name or event is just annoying.
Manuelgate/Sachsgate - why?
Nipplegate - makes no sense
Camillagate - what?

If there was a situation where some garden furniture was stolen from a 1960s/1970s childrens animation film-maker, would it be written up in the media as: Oliver Postgate's Post & Gate Gate?

To which linguistically perfect era (a time when vernacular speech didn't exist, presumably) would everyone wish to be returned?

Even Stephen Fry has commented on how tiresome he finds this fundamentalism. Language is a constantly evolving beast - none of us can control it.

Because it so rarely is.

Granted, HE usually does and it is not quite ubiquitous, yet

More ghastly politician speak when they're being interviewed. Just incredibly patronising.

Said it myself the other day, I'm ashamed to admit.

Cowell, Cotton and many other lightweight excuses for human beings begin their sentences with this statement as if they are about to unleash some insightful statement.

Unfortubately, its often followed by some benign stream of tosh.

Also see, "I gonna be honest with you..............."

Current phrase de jour from my transatlantic customers.

Oscar Wilde observed that anything following the words "the fact is..." is usually a lie.

"only two more Sleeps to my holiday" WTF !. Sleeps as in Third Person singular...i sleep.you sleep, he sleeps ?
What are you on about ?. Sleep has no plural,it's uncountable.

Arsene Wenger described a bad refereeing decison as "Disgusting" yesterday. No Arsene, it wasn't disgusting. Injust, incorrect, annoying, or just bad maybe, but disgusting? Were you driven to the point of vomiting when you saw it? If you weren't (highly likely, it would be odd for vomiting to occur when there is a discrepancy at the number of players between a receiving attacker and the goalmouth at the point a ball was passed) then it wasn't disgusting.

Don't get me started on vox-pops where some over-opinionated arsepiece, usually possesed of an unfortunate Estuarine Accent like mine opines that something is "Bladdy disgustin'", particularly when it's a car parking charge or something like that.

"Oh look Brenda, they've raised the parking charges at the Bingo to £2 all day."

"£2 all day? That's bloody disgusting, Doris. Excuse me while I rush to the bathroom and re-gurgitate my elevenses."

This

is disgusting

I first heard this (initially brilliant) phrase about 3 months ago - now every fucker on TV uses it, especially on political programmes. I am waiting for Alan bloody Shearer to use it to know it's finally worn thin.

Instead of "then she says". My kids have PS3/DS-life-bans attached to its use so I now thankfully only hear it used by their friends. If I know them well enough, I will add: "She goes where? To the toilet? For a walk?"

Sorry - petty and grumpy, I know.

In terms of. (Previously mentioned).
Death to all who utter.

Wow! You're going to buy an insurance policy that somehow ensures that this (whatever it was) never happens again? Or reimburses your losses if it does? Which insurance company is underwriting these amazing policies?

Look, I appreciate you’re upset and possibly even grief-stricken by what’s happened so my natural compassion will prevent me from making this point at the moment of your sorrow. However, the likelihood and/or practicality of preventing anything from recurring is extremely low and you really need to be a bit more realistic about the word, “never.”

NB When spoken by a politician, it’s simply an ingratiating platitude and usually deserving of a slap.

Well, I can't put it in the bin that's NOT provided, can I?

You're on Dragon's Den on BBC2, or Dave. Twat.

I hate the modern trend for mis-using the equals symbol. An example from a friend's Facebook page today:

Carragher = Terrible challenge

Now, Carragher made a terrible challenge, but 'Carragher' does not equal 'terrible challenge'. It bugs the heck out of me.

and vilified a large part of the English language, is it time to ask if there are any phrases that we really enjoy and love to see used?

Continuing on the negatives, 'park up' -- when did this infiltrate? What's it for?

Or people talking "to" the subject. Grrrr. Am I alone in this? When did this creep into the language, or is it a local (i.e. Antipodean) phenomenon?

This drives me nuts. Hansen, Dixon and Lawrenson say this about five times a week as in "you can't do that at this level". No, Lads, if the keeper drops the ball in front of the centre forward you'll concede at every effin level.

I have noticed that organised groups for children at churches, libraries, cinemas, fast food joints and leisure centres are often called things like "KIDZ CLUB!".

The logo must either be in NY graffiti style or resembling chalk on a blackboard. Have some splatters around it as well to illustrate just how much fun it is and what untidy rascals children are.

Since when have penalties been gay?

Used by Americans and very annoying.

Used by Mary Ann Hobbes and the like to introduce records.

Surely you just fry them? No off needed? Apart from the 'f' one of course. Modern cookery programmes keep coming up with irritating new phrases.

have people started filling out forms - Forms used to be filled in.

Similarly... when approaching a roundabout some people slow up when they used to slow down.

does my head out!

First off, a long overdue apology from me for a rather tasteless phrase in my title post, and which I promise to avoid using in the future. I wasn't thinking, sorry.

Other than that, what an amazing and incredibly interesting response for me. I live in the Basque Country (since 1984), so I don't hear much spoken English - by native English speakers, I mean. Thank you for a great insight into what "gets your goat". (Is that a more acceptable phrase?!)

Regards to all
Mike

what's that all about? Is it so we can distinguish between all the other non-scheduled stops, delays, sudden breaking, red lights, waiting for other trains to leave the platform, signal failures and idling around outside stations for hours with no explanation?

as in gypsy weddings.

"Are you there?"
used on the telephone - where else would you be? not at the other end? in which case are you going to be able to answer that question?

"knock yourself out" - I'd rather not, I'd be happy to go for it, though.

"it's not rocket science" - no it's not, so why are you mentioning rocket science.

similar to

"no problem" when you mean "you're welcome"

I say "as opposed to -(the opposite..)" a lot, drives my wife mad (;D)

and finally
"that not the way I roll" - oh, so you roll a particular way, how fascinating.

(i've been laughing my arse off (oh) at this thread for last 15 mins, great stuff)

I see these a lot on Facebook. They annoy me, that's all.

Edited

...well, stop right there then. If you KNOW you're about to do something fantastically annoying, do something else, please.

'Sorry' in general is used just too often - always when it's too late, something shite has occured at the utterer's hands and YOU are going to pay for it. It means:

'I have just fucked you over because I wasn't concentrating/didn't really care/hoped you wouldn't notice. Now let me off.'

...as in 'The Beatles were the best band ever, I don't think'.

If you don't think, don't say it. It's wrong!

We don't hate you because we're haters, it's because you're crap.

Please don't order me to enjoy my food thank you.

Apologies if they have already been mentioned.

I was at a training session last week and was urged to, 'Tap into the zeitgeist.' More funny than annoying; surely no-one says this anymore!?

I was also informed in the same session that 'X action leads to Y result. Fact.' 'Fact' at the end of a statement properly infuriates me. However, it is so David Brent that I also find it very funny, and lose all respect for the person using it. Fact.

i mean honestly, does every band who get to third album status have difficulty doing it?was the beatles third album difficult for them? did bob dylan nearly fuck it up on his third? was beethoven completely losing it when he hit his third (symphony)? where did this phrase come from and about who? or is this another thread topic?

if used to describe comedy with adult themes.
A tetrahedron is 'edgy'. A TV comedy show? No.

My wife and I often spend Sunday afternoons in the pub with a few friends. A new couple have appeared over the last few months and the husband has taken to walking into the pub, raising his hands in mock surprise at seeing us all there and exclaiming 'Hello Peeps!' Little does he realise that we all want to rip one of his arms off and beat him to death with the soggy end.

I'm not a violent person, but.....

when uttered by a cabinet minister, or more likely a junior minister who's been drilled to parrot the mantra.

No. We're. Fucking. Not.

Don't insult our intelligence by trying to pretend otherwise, you braying, dead-eyed pisswizards.