.... hesitate before using the word 'Byrdsian', but then use it anyway.

risk the wrath of the mighty Lord Fraser with pedantic and nit picking points whenever thou spots them.

Thou shalt always revere the Queen of Denmark
Do not covet thy neighbour's wife, unless she is Kate Bush, for that is allowed.
Do not worship false Billy Idols
You shalt not Stealers Wheel
Remember the Black Sabbath Day and keep it holy

thy Massive neighbour's box set collection

Thou shalt not quote any other comedy film but Spinal Tap. The script is the law and is not open to question. There is none more holy. Apart from The Life Of Brian and readings from the good Bok

so therefore, The Judean People's Front are splitters.

who art D Hepworth
Hello, eh up, wotsisname
Shun Kingdom Come
And give us our Zeppelin
A forgive those who Crooked Vulture against us
Lead us not into cancelling subscripton
for thine is the WORD
The blather and the HOARY
For Ellen and Ellen
Arseholes

The Word's my shepherd, I'll not want;
He makes me sit down to read
Passages great; he leadeth me
The best and worstest by.

My beard he doth restore again,
And me to think doth make.
Within, the words of righteous dudes.
Ellen, for his own name's sake.

Yea, though I surf itunes's dark vale,
Yet will I fear no ill:
For thou art with me, and thy pod
And staff me comfort still.

Reviews thou me hast furnished
And presents of cds;
My head thou dost with joys appoint
And my cupboard overflows.

Hepworth and Mossman all my life
Shall surely hallowed be;
And on planet rock for evermore
My dwelling-place shall be.

...in our holy book, the HORAH?

feed the squirrels for they are naught but ratty bastards with tails.

Thou shalt not worship false billy idols

damn someone got there first.
thou shalt always read the whole post before thou comment.

Obviously.
and, thou shalt offer a tithing of your income to Fopp each week

Thy pies shalt be Fray Bentos, and the Philistines shalt covet these,

for ever and ever.

Ah - men!

... covet Crowther's up-arrows.

What a fantastic thread!! Methinks some of this should be compiled for publication for those Word-ites who are not yet blogged-up?

all features great and small
The cover art's not always wonderful
But the new Word brings it all

Each time my letterbox opens
I rush towards the mat
To see if postie has bought me
Stuff about squirrels and beards and that

No purple prose is welcome
And of the review section I'm no fan
But like those who hate Andrew Collins
There is always the divine Mossman

The cold wind in the winter,
Rattles my wiondows and my door
But i'm all warm and toasty
Reading about the 'Son Of Stiff' tour

God gave me eyes to read it
and its him I have to thank
although that celeb trip to the Arctic
was a load of pretentious....tosh

All crap verse must reach its end
And this is no different at all
Now,up yours David Hepworth
I'm off to listen to the Fall

(may God have mercy on my soul, I didn't sleep well last night)

use the word 'girl' as an insult.

Thou shalt enjoy all things a bit twee, particularly the Divine Comedy and Belle & Sebastien.

Thou shalt be very careful what thou says about Canadians, for they art touchy.