That Rule came up on a recent episode of 'Silk', trying to prove that someone was or wasn't soliciting. Did the other fella speak to you at all? Make any flattering remarks?

I went into the loo in the Coachmaker's Arms on Marylebone Lane and of the three urinals there was a man taking a leak in the one in the middle.

He obviously doesn't suffer from stagefright like I do.

Sounds like a Jackie Leven album title.

There is absolutely no other explanation for such an egregious flouting of gents etiquette.

By the by, has anyone else noticed an increase in men, particularly young men, going to the other extreme? It seems to me that when I am in a gents and another man comes in they are much more likely than they used to be to go straight for a stall, even when there are other urinals an acceptable distance away. Or maybe it's just me; they're probably intimidated.

You would never do this in the company of male friends. However, I weep like a leaky bucket in front of my girlfriend, should we be watching, say, Cinema Paradiso?

Even in front of my brother (and my entire family) I had to walk out his living room last Xmas and wipe my eyes with bog paper in the bathroom. I was a bit drunk and it was the end of On Her Majesty's Secret Service on the telly OKAAAY???

Girls and gay men can do it but it's a real no no for men.

I know this makes me sound like a grumpy old man, but I must confess to having picked up the habit of parking at the far end of car parks off my father in law after a number of door dings from thoughtless motorists.

Even so with an almost empty car park there's always some numpty who parks in the space next to me. On a more recent occasion I couldn't get into my car because another car had parked so close.

I've come to the conclusion it's a 'safety in numbers' thing for some people, but even so it's incredibly irritating.

Coming back to the subject of urinals I've even had a work colleague stand right next to me who then told me "(your urine) smells a bit strong". Well don't stand so bloody close then. And yes, I've had more come-ons from more gay men than I care to remember, it has to be one of the number one hazards of visiting a public toilets.

But the number one pet hate is people who DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER. Yes, you know who you are. But should I tell on them or let them pass their germs on to all and sundry?

would never be seen dead together...
having a picnic
having dinner in a restaurant
riding a tandem

would so with my male Italian relatives and friends (cheek only). Wouldn't dream of doing so here. The OP reminds me of a geat scene from Friends when Chandler and Joey are in the gents and one of the two can't pee because the other is standing within his vicinity.

If you are a man shopping in the supermarket (no doubt with the list thoughtfully provided by the GLW) and you cannot find something you have been asked to purchase, you must ON NO ACCOUNT ask any one working in the store where said comestible or artifact may be found on the shelves. You must wander the store aimlessly until a) you find what you are looking for or b) leave the store without. When challenged by the GLW, you must insist they were 'Sold Out'.

Oh and you must NEVER buy feminine hygiene products on behalf of the GLW if you are unaccompanied.

that says it's OK for a man to touch a woman if he's gay without causing offence. I think Gok Wan may have started this but the GLW has noticed it happen often in the workplace without comment.

that you get your round in.

I’ve always struggled with the unwritten rule that, if a group of men go drinking, no one can leave until everyone has bought a round. So if you find yourself in a pub after work with three colleagues, you are expected to stay until four rounds have been consumed, one bought by each person.

The trouble is, sometimes you only want one or two drinks. But leaving before you’ve bought your round is frowned upon, as is buying a non-alcoholic drink for yourself when your turn comes (as there’s a perception that you’re trying to save money). So you either preserve your sobriety at the cost of getting a reputation as a skinflint – and there are few more damning judgements of a man’s character than that he doesn’t buy his round – or you get drunk for fear of breaking the rules.

Do women have to jump through these hoops? I somehow doubt it.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=1998310247324066462

I got an 80% score.

we've got two urinals next to each other. So there's no option there, save for using the traps (often with the door open as you mentioned, Jed). However, someone did "park" next to me the other day and asked,

"How's your little one?"

He was of course asking about my 4 month-old daughter, but much hilarity ensued.

Particularly, as my friend Simon did, the chorus of Madonna's Beautiful Stranger in one of the less Gok-friendly pubs in Ipswich.

I used to work at a place with two urinals. There was one guy who would come in and stand next to you and pee hands-free. With his hands on is hips. Very unnerving indeed.

Not sure if this is replicated throughout Blighty, but in Glasgow - home of the dangerously emotionally repressed pack male - the combination of alchohol and false intimacy provided by pub lavvies can oft result in an opportunity taken to engage in clumsy bonhomie.

I never know how to react. Ignore and risk offence and violence, or respond - what do you say to a strange man with his penis out and operating anyway?

the old "love you too buddy, but you're dripping on my shoes".

I heard a great story about a young Noel and Liam Gallagher visiting a Sony party shortly after Oasis had been signed.

They went to the toilets together and there were three urinals. Jay Kay from Jamiroquai was using the middle urinal so they went either side of him.

After about 30 seconds, Liam broke the awkward silence by turning to Kay and shouting 'scooby-do-wop-bop...etc' at the top of his voice in imitation of the EOPEH's vocal style.

...is true in Ladies' loos. Especially at a club near closing time when young/ish.

After winding your way through ladies discussing the boy they've just seen/the other bitch they are with who is a right cow and talks about them behind their back/putting on mascara/blusher/lippie/more perfume, it is perfectly normal to have a long conversation with someone who have never met before and will likely never meet again. You can tell this woman that the cad she is crying over "isn't worth it/don't let him see you like this" despite knowing nothing about said cad. You can also comment on the colour of the lippie she is applying and whether you like her perfume. You can also use it as an excuse to tell a perfect stranger about your own "bastard" when your friends are bored witless with you.

Men must never get involved with the former significant other of a close male friend.

a major pet peeve is people who hover rather than sit, leaving the seat…let’s just say in a less than desirable condition. To add insult to injury they ignore the golden rule of the ladies’ room:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Please be neat and wipe the seat.

When the rest room is crowded and people are waiting for stalls (We need potty parity! We'll come back to that another day.) it always amazes me that people can come out of a stall and look you straight in the eye, knowing what they've left for you to deal with! Were they raised by wolves??!!

I tend to just use the cubicles now... ever since the splashback incident of 2010.

His stream produced the volume of a burst pipe. I was wearing short sleeves.

or how large your penis is, it's difficult to tell whether he was picking you up or not, but you seem quite sure.

is it only me that considers it strange that some guys have to undo "everything" (zips, buttons, belts) at the urinal and actually pull their trousers down a bit before a wazz.
How old are you? 5?

or am i missing the point that you're making that the monster is too big to get out of just the zipper?

If you driving with more 2 or more passengers and dropping them off.

Say the passenger in the front seat is dropped off first, then one of the other passengers must move from the back seat to the front passenger seat. Without question.

In fact, I remember a (female) friend showing me this in ooh, 1998,1999 at university. But the rules haven't changed in 12 years.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/urinal

This is going to sound weird, but I've had more fun meeting strangers in public loos than anywhere else...no wait - let me explain!
Girls, especially when they're young, always go to the loo in pairs. And if you're drunk in a club or something and your friends are nowhere to be seen you can bond quickly with any damsel in distress also lacking a loo-buddie.
I once spent the better part of a midsummers eve in the loo at a camping site making new friends one at a time. I first went there with a friend of mine, when we were walking out of there a girl on her way in asked me to please go in with her, and that just kept happening every time I tried to leave.
I was in there swapping anecdotes and jokes for a very long time, and no - none of these girls were trying to pick me up.
It's just a good place and time to have a nice long chat.
But if you're a man it's apparently a very traumatic experience!

Never. Unless there's three of you, temperatures are at least -10 and there's only one tent.