The Olympics – some thoughts
1) The person you don’t want to be is Great Britain’s big hope for a medal on the very first morning of competition because you’re almost inevitably doomed. Craig Fallon in the Judo ?
2) Maddest commentator – Gary Herbert at the rowing, by some distance. Followed by Hugh Porter at the Cycling. In fairness, they’ve had stuff to go mad about...
3) Can’t believe that we were watching (and getting excited by) Windsurfing the other morning. It’s like how you’d only ever watch Angola v Poland when it’s part of the World Cup.
4) Is Athletics a bit like the football of the Olympics ? Hogs the attention as soon as it starts and, for some people, is all that matters ? And will probably continue to get the lion’s share of the money despite other sports doing better.
5) Various sailing medallists swearing live on Olympic Breakfast – hilarious. And that’s why you shouldn’t attempt to interview anyone immediately after they’ve finished.
6) I know we’re resigned to everyone coming here ‘to medal’ or ‘to get a PB’ but when did it become “the 400 IM” in swimming ? And when did they become “P-Bars” in gymnastics ?
7) The footage of the presenters watching the Women’s 400m and hearing Sue Barker’s terribly polite “come on Christine… come on Christine…”, slightly out of place with Colin Jackson practically doing a lap of honour within the limited space available to him.
8) I wonder how much bad news the government has buried while this has been going on.
9) Right now people are locked in BBC editing suites putting together ‘best bits’ montages for the last day. Do you think they’ll be crashingly obvious and use “Bicycle Race” for the Cycling Team ?
- More from Simon Hoyle.
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From the hip...
1. Quality presenters on BBC. I didn't rate Gabby Logan before but she's been brilliant. Brotherton, Green, Cram, that Welsh hurdler, all great; Michael Johnson - top drawer. Adrian Chiles's Croatian bit wearing thin now. But why did the likes of Nicky Campbell, Huw Morris and other non-sport presenters have to be there?
2. Don't Stuart Storey and Paul Dickenson sound EXACTLY the same?
3. LOVING the BMX-ing - crashes like nothing else.
4. Lottery cash = success. Spend the money of things we might win, like we have done on Cycling, and don't waste it on things we never will.
5. GB medals - but where are the equestrian and shooting medals? We always won those things didn't we?
6. Elbow's 'One Day Like This' on every day 100 times a day. Wonder if Guy Garvey is now planning a house move or a long luxury holiday? Good to hear Interpol's Leif Erikson the other day.
I thought that
When Garvey finished that he must prayed to the gods that GB would win medal after medal. Kerching!!
Love the BMX!
It could be improved though.
It would look more natural if they got rid of the electronic starting device and just had someone yell out suddenly "Hey you kids!" Then they go off in different directions. While they are on the course police sirens should play in the background "Woo woo woo" and they should be made to carry backpacks stuffed with spraycans.
Its undoubtedly a sign of age but to me but when the race is on they look like vandals fleeing a graffiti spree. "Come and get me copper!"
Paul Dickenson
I believe Steve Coogan's Alan Partridge was partly based on Mr Dickenson. Back of the net...
I'm predicting a revival of this gem:
Ridin' along on my pushbike, honey.
When I noticed you.
Ridin' downtown in a hurry, honey,
Down South Avenue.
You looked so pretty as you were ridin' along.
You looked so pretty as you were singing this song.
Well, I put on the speed,
And I tried catching up,
But you were pedaling harder too.
Ridin' along like a hurricane, honey,
Spinning out of view.
You looked so pretty as you were ridin' along.
You looked so pretty as you were singing this song.
Sing a song!
A-round, round, wheels goin' round round round.
Down up pedals, down up down.
But I gotta get across to the other side of town,
Before the sun goes down. Hey, hey!
Now we're riding along on the bicycle, honey.
That's a bicycle built for two.
A-lookin' at my honey in the rearview mirror;
Now I got a better view.
You looked so pretty as you were ridin' along.
You looked so pretty as you were singing this song.
Sing a song!
A-round, round, wheels goin' round round round.
Down up pedals, down up down.
But I gotta get across to the other side of town,
Before the sun goes down. Hey, hey
Ah, The Mixtures
It was the first single I ever bought. It was one of those that's so catchy, you're sick of it by the end of the first hearing.
Beach Volleyball Rant
IT.IS.NOT.A.SPORT!
Team GB Rant
Where did this "Team GB" bollox come from?
Why does everything have to be dumbed down into a Blairite soundbite...credit crunch, carbon footprint...is David Brent running our media now?
I'm glad someone else finds "Team GB" irritating
I thought that in English the adjective comes before the noun, as in "the GB team". I don't think this phrase is new though as I recall it being trotted out in a former Olympics.
Does it come from the BBC? Certainly, listening to Radio 4 where you'd expect better, you hear the newsreaders enunciate it as if it leaves a bitter taste in their mouths. I get the impression it's been mandated.
What they hope to achieve with this random switch in word order I don't know, but it comes across as pretentious very, very.
Well Said
Couldn't agree more
Everything is Team these days
I'm waiting for the day when a newsreader, during another political / economic crisis announces "Team Labour said...."
Remember
There is no "I" in Team
A pedant writes ...
Strictly speaking there's no NI in 'Team GB' either. Just a thought.
Simon
I'm assuming you don't know what IM means in swimming?
IM is Individual Medley. 400IM means the swimmer does 100m of each stroke - fly, back, breast, free.....
.....as opposed to a 400m Team Medley where there are 4 swimmers in the team and each one swims a different 100m - back, breast, fly, free....
.....as opposed to a 400m Team Relay where there are 4 swimmers and each swims 100m freestyle.
I knew that...
I just wondered when they decided to abbreviate it.
My kids
have been in a swimming club for 7 years.
As far as I know it's always been called IM.
Maybe not so to the general public?
PB
means *personal best*. I've no idea what the difference between that and a *lifetime best* is.
Resigned? No we're flippin not! RANT ALERT!
"6) I know we’re resigned to everyone coming here ‘to medal’ or ‘to get a PB’ but when did it become “the 400 IM” in swimming ? And when did they become “P-Bars” in gymnastics?"
Medal is a flippin' NOUN not a bleeding VERB!!! It's been getting on my nerves constantly over the last two weeks. All this "Well, we're all expecting Team GB to medal here in the stadium tonight..." No, we're expecting them to WIN A medal, to succeed, to prevail, to conquer, to vanquish, to attain, to overhaul, to anything except "to medal".
There's only one person in the news who'd been to the Far East to medal recently and he's faking heart-attacks in Bangkok airport!
AND ANOTHER THING (goes into full on Marcus Brigstocke mode)...
When did they stop being the "Asymmetric Bars" and start being called the "Uneven Bars"? Has the change been made in aid of the hard of thinking by the same person in Tesco who's redesigned the stickers for the honeydew melons so that instead of saying "Honeydew Melon" they say, and I quote, "Yellow melon"? Durh! If the check out staff can't remember the actual name of the variety do they REALLY need a yellow sticker on (let's face it, a big YELLOW rugby ball shaped thing) which says in yellow writing on it "Yellow Melon"?
Are we really considered to be so thick on average that we're unable to remember big complicated grown-up words? What's next? We'll be medalling in the "Same Sort of Height Bars" and the "Big Sort of Mars Bar-Shaped Thing With Handles On Top" events while munching not on a "Gala Melon" but on a "Sort of Greenish with Stripy Bits Melon"?
I think I'll go and have a lie down...
Relax
Here's a nice cartoon to calm you down. I don't usually put things like this around my desk but this one lives above the phone as a reminder to speak and write plainly.
http://www.creatrixblog.com/?p=305
Like it...
Calvin & Hobbes was great, very sharp indeed.
Sport has always thrown up some wonderful examples of the misuse of the English language especially from the mouths of footie pundits and managers.
Where did "a big ask" come from? As in...."it will be a big ask for Didier Drogba to stay on his feet the diving, cheating nancy boy" (sorry, got a bit carried away there).
Also, "bouncebackability" - I guess this could be roughly translated as resilience or something like that.
But I must say that the new one, "to medal", has really dragged things into the gutter - disgraceful!
respectful interjection
..but medal is also a verb, used by Byron and Thackeray. So saith the OED
http://tinyurl.com/68qu62
Meaning. . .
to win a medal or bestow one? I could just about live with "the colonel was medalled for his bravery" but not - as used by the Olympics carpentators - "the colonel medalled as a result of his bravery".
Fair cop mate...
...but it still sounds inelegant rowlocks to these ears. I'm guessing that "(archaic)" featured in some of those definitions. If you ask me its common usage died out for a good reason!
"Big Ask" is an Australian term
I really hate to admit this but I suspect "to medal" comes from the same source. I know I've been hearing it for ages and it never gets any easier on the ears. It really is terrible.
We can't claim bouncebackability though. I think that's of British origin.
if you'd paused mid rant for a wheezy chuckle
you'd remind me completely of that bloke Arthur thingy off 'Grumpy Old Men'.
Wonderfully put, Trevor, and i whole heartedly agree with you on everything!
What is he famous for?
How did he become famous before Grumpy Old Men? I asked a few people and no one can remember what programme or event made him famous. Did he just appear on Have I Got News a few times and then suddenly he was famous?
haven't the foggiest, mate...
i don't even know his sodding surname!
In fact it's quite possible his first name isn't even Arthur, but he looks like it should be...
Arthur Smith...
...was a stalwart of the early London stand up circuit in the early days of alternative comedy (and hence not on telly much, if you know what I mean!!).
First I saw him on telly was in the early 1990s when he presented a BBC alternative comedy/variety show from somewhere like the Hammershith Palais or some such venue. Also turnedup on episodes of Red Dwarf and Filthy Rich & Catflap and so on.
The name's Smith...
Arthur Smith. Radio 4 irregular and veteran of the stand-up comedy circuit.
Sorry, Trev, bit tardy
Must use the refresh button more often.
New Olympic Sports.
Backwards Marathon.
Blindfold Diving.
Hop, Skip, Jump and Avoidance of Rottweiler.
Electrified Pole Vault.
Indoor Javelin.
Razor-wire High Jump.
Obese Gymnastics.
Tank Racing.
Live Pistol Duelling.
Beach Bucket Chucking.
100m Sulk.
Horse and Tiger Dressage.
100 m Freestyle with Shark.
Gin Rummy.
It's on already
As Extreme Jeux Sans Frontières on the Discovery channel.
Must watch
more telly.
Disappointed
Not heard T'Pau's China In Your Hand...
Madison: explain? Best description was the commentator who said it was a cross between tag-team wrestling and quidditch.
Is it true in 2012 we are having cricket? That's another gold for the Aussies then...
A meaningful result
Cricket may or may not be in the next Olympics. At least you know that the team that scores the most runs wins. But feckin' skateboarding? That's being proposed as a "demonstration" event in 2012 prior to full introduction in 2016. What's the measure of success there? Most string quartets performed in the Purcell Room ruined by some tosser crashing against the wall?
The description of the Walking Race
as being the same as the who can whisper loudest competion was particularly apt.
A.A. Gill's
description of Curling at the Winter Olympics made me smile.
'Competitive housework in slow motion'.
'Talk us through your race - describe exactly what happened'
'Well ... I heard the starting pistol and started running in these things called lanes and then I noticed that several others were running also so I ran faster - in fact I ran as fast as I could - until I saw this thing called the finishing line and when I crossed it I stopped running and everyone else did the same and that was the end'.
Which, when you weigh up what is actually said, is usually what it all boils down to.
Yeah
and 'how do you feel?'
Have they played "Gold"
by Spandy Ballet, yet?
Blonde Female Scots
I find myself quite taken to these ladies - strokes moustache suggestively - Hazel Irvine and Jill Douglas ... adds to the list of Kirsty Young and the (not blonde, but who cares) Lorraine mmmmm - so that will just be Scots women then?
Spanish TV
Have shown interviews with Chinese spectators and athletes without Translations. Wonderful stuff. Don't half miss the top drawer coverage you get in "Country GB".
Top Marks
Team Word will be medalling you in due course.
Olympics
A few thoughts...
Is it Hugh Porter who sounds like Mark Radcliffe?
When I hear Big Ask, is it only me that sometimes processes it as Big Asp?
When did it become okay for the BBC presenters in the stadium to wear those stupid headset mikes which seem to give them a large pink boil on their faces?
And why pink when many of their experts like the fantastic Michael Johnson are black?
And apart from these niggles, how great has the BBC's coverage been? I think it must be a personal best for Auntie. When do they all sleep?
Seconded
We've had our licence fee's worth in two weeks. Big ups to 5Live, especially. I've developed insomnia for fear of missing action from some of the most obscure sports imaginable. The 10K open water swim was a personal highlight - the maddest discipline in the world, involving swimming very fast for 2 hours while wrestling. And have you heard David Davies - the silver medallist, who would have won if he hadn't been delirious & got lost at the end - talking to Ruth Jones? Cracking. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7575715.stm
Thank Heavens
the whole bloody thing's nearly over eh?
"we look to los angeles for the language we use......"
I am watching the games in the States hence I've not actually seen any British people collecting medals yet and only a couple of actual medal winning performances.
It sounds like the Beeb have lifted NBC's language for their coverage. "Team USA" is the team title, all people who finish in the top 3 "medal" etc etc.
If team GB is really a team do they qualify for the BBC sports review team of the year? If so they have got to be a banker for a win in that category.
If not who do you think is likely win the iondividual sports personality award amidst this plethora of gold medals.
Michael Johnson...
... had a point when he said that perhaps we might win as many medals as the swimmers if we included running backwards as an event. I've nothing against backstroke or butterfly, but let them compete against the freestylers. Mind you Michael, there are some equally ridiculous athletic Events. And while we are on the subject of daft events we should lose before London, thus saving Citizen GB some hard earned, my list as follows:
1. The Walk (no it isn't)
2. The Triple Jump (mind you, we are quite good at that)
3. Dressage (horses dancing)
4. Synchronised Swimming (you couldn't make it up)
5. Greco Roman Wrestling (highly suspect)
6. Beach Volleyball (only the Men's event obviously).
Has anyone used the phrase
"The Great Haul Of China" yet?
I should be a sub editor, I really should!
Gutted
I thought I'd missed the whole thing by being on hols but have discovered it is still on.....what annoys me is the amount of money we're going to waste staging it here in 2012 - quite apart from being highly corrupt and deeply political it is hardly a priority when there are so many other things we could be spending public money on. Another "prestige project" to inflate politicans' vanity.
Could we win
the Monkey tennis at 2012?
One Day In 1972
Robert
Hey Jimmy, had the wierdest dream. There's you lookin like an old wizard or somethin in a double decker bus in Peking (cept they don't call it that anymore). The bus turns into a garden hedge shaped like the London sky line and there you are above that beltin out Whole Lotta Love with a 20ft tall winner of Opportunity Knocks. Idea for a song?
Jimmy
No man, stick to Tolkein.
There's more on that debacle here...
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/jimmy-page
Should we reward Russia's activities in Georgia...
... by letting them host a future games? It worked for China in Tibet.
Most inappropriate party music ever?
On a related note: McFly performing "The Winner Takes It All" at the London 2012 "party": can anyone think of a less suitable song to sing at a celebration?
Presumably someone just entered "winner" into a search and thought, "Ooh, everyone loves Abba, what could be better?" Someone with no knowledge of music or ability to listen to lyrics, I guess.
So, inapt and inept. Quite a combination.
"Congratulations"
is a song whose use in celebrations I've always hated for the same reason: Beyond the one word of the title, it has nothing to do with birthdays, weddings, victories, homecomings or anything else you might celebrate.
New thread ...
I thought this deserved its own thread, so I created one here