Entertainment For Lively Minds
The London twatting Marathon
Posted by chabsy on 1 February 2011 - 1:28pm.
After my mid-morning breakfast of a glass of red and three tabs, I was listening to 5 live with Dr. Hillary Jones and various pundits discussing how to prepare for this 'life changing' event. I couldn't help but wish death and destruction on every man-jack who takes part in this wankathon.
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With you all the way.
Raising money for charity is a fucking disgrace.
How dare they
wear out the tarmac with their thousands of pounding feet.
Wankathon?
It used to be running. Presume that it will move to BBC3 now the activity has changed.
Hitting the Wall
is still a problem thou
Still, the Queen does enjoy watching thousands coming up The Mall
I wish
We'd have the Kenyans licked.
Where's our Dentist friend
whe you need him?
Don't ask.
Training hard..
Maybe this year..
...a plucky young Briton will manage to pull it off!
My money's
on Lionel Blair
Lionel Blair is, of course, a marathon past master
Famously in the very 1st London event he was delighted to nearly finish exhausted behind a team of Royal Marines but was relieved to be pulled off at the last minute
Lenny's excuse
He's in training.
Who are you allowed
to twat during this marathon?
I didn't even know
that twatting was now a recognized sporting discipline, never mind a long distance one. Must require a lot of stamiina.
What a strange and unpleasant post
Did you not get a place this year, Chabsy?
Maybe
his wine was corked and he accidentally smoked filterless tabs.
"every man-jack "
has been outlawed in these post Gray\Keys times. Its now 'every Tom. Richard and Harriet'
If the post is meant to be humorous...
..then I guess I dont get it.
No marathons yet - but I have run maybe a dozen half marathons in the last 6 years. Training for and completing a long distance race is a thrill you will never understand unless you have done it. I will happily admit I cried after completing my first 13.1 miles. 20,000 running together is a beautiful thing
Meanwhile - I am 50 this year - fitter than I was when i was 30 and the same weight - thats sort of "life changing" - but I AM a twat apparently.
Completely agree Andrew!
I did my first half marathon last year and just about managed to not cry at the finish but only because my Mother and some friends were waiting for me and I would have been mortally embarrassed! It is indeed a wonderful thrill - yes possibly even life changing - something I didn't understand until I ran it.
I too am 50 this year(!) and am now training for the Liverpool half at the end of March. And I've just entered the Liverpool full proper marathon which is to be run on 09/10/11.
For a former 30 a day man I've never been fitter, stronger or healthier.
Not very rock 'n' roll but there you go. Viva Les Twats :-)
Why is everyone
acting so wounded? I go running, but I read chabsy's post as a humorous hyerbolic bit of fun. The booze-quaffing bon viveur cocking a snook at the fitness fanatics, sort of thing.
I'm not altogether sure that I'd wish
"death and destruction" on anyone - even in jest.
Who's "acting wounded"?
I can't see much in the way of bleeding hearts here. Just a few tart responses to a stupid post by chabsy, who has some previous in this regard. He may be a capital fellow and maybe his sense of humour is misunderstood - but his OP here does not read, to me, as in any way humorous.
Humour
Subjective, isn't it? Though I see from previous entries that chabsy likes Ted Chippington, who's humour is very dour, straight-faced and misunderstood. Lost on most.
I'm not wounded
I saw it as an opportunity to be a smug but witty so and so.
I did up Bob's post though. Piling sarcasm on sarcasm always works for me.
An innocent writes
What *is* a man-jack?
Like a Snack-a-Jack...
...but heavier.
A device
Used to raise a man by a couple of inches, giving access to his undercarriage.
a proper
reach around
So making jokes
is now 'acting wounded'?
I just tossed a few remarks off, thats all. No need to beat myself off about it, I suppose
Pleased to report
that I completed said 'twatathon' in 2005. Didn't feel at all twattish at the time. The pint of London Pride at the end tasted much nicer than the digestive biscuit that I accepted from an elderly couple at about 18 miles.
God.
What a prick.
I think Chabsy
has gone to fetch his shellsuit
I don't know how you can look yourself in the face.
All that training and dedication, all the sponsorship, the sense of achievement. You disgust me.
that was the problem
- I wasn't that dedicated. Although I did finish before it got dark, and on the same day that I started
But what about the marathon?
/goat
what brand
of digestive?
Couldn't possibly say
as I'd completely glazed over by that point. There is a possibility that it wasn't even a digestive, or a biscuit
If this year it is a Wankathon
I'd very much hope it isn't me who has to eat the biscuit.
Thank you Lenny
*Applauds*
i am offended
I didn't cross the line at the last London Marathon....
I admit.
But I did nick lots of those lovely lovely sugary lucozade drinks and some of those smashing bacofoil capes. "Woooo, look at me, I'm a psychedelic bat"
Pfft
I got one of those bacofoil things from the traffic guys for breaking down on the M25.
And I didn't even have to break sweat or dress up funny*.
*Apart from aforementioned bacofoil thingy
Of course, it's not the London Marathon any more...
...it's the London Snickers.
*coat*
*hat*
*shame*
I thought that was a pretty good gag...
Have an up.
Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune.
There are times
when I take the "virtual pub" analogy too far and picture a thread actually happening like some scene from a sketch show. I imagine the conversation starting and going off in all directions in a single sound of collected voices (some louder than others),glasses clinking, with a juke box playing playing in the background. This is my favourite one so far,
Act 1 scene 1 a man walks into a bar and says (with loud tut) "The London twatting marathon".
You lot just fill in the punchlines for me, thankyou
And Her Majesty, graciously starts, the London
Twatting Marathon, punching Seb Coe, squarely, in the mouth, as the Band of the Royal Marines, plays the theme tune, from Rocky. Eye of the Tiger, by, American band Survivor, to the assembled onlookers...
/Huw, Edwards. Pausing, for emphasis, since, 19, 61...
London Marathon.
I did it in 95, it was really hard work, but I wouldnt have missed it for anything. (& Yes, I did raise money for Charidee, & was glad to be able to do so).
Since I left the navy, I have put on so much weight, my idea of a long run these days is a couple of laps of my trousers.
Don't be put off the noble Marathon by it's association..
..with that huge flapping wang Dr Hilary Jones and assorted pundits. I'm a runner, and I'm also an inveterate lush and an occasional smoker of tabs, (more than occasionally, if the truth be told). I revel in his disapproval.
Why?
Sorry my daughter stole the iPad...