21 and shall we say, not the most dynamic person in the world, went off to south east Asia and Australia for five months.

We were all horribly nervous as she's bright but completely disorganised, a bit dreamy and terribly vague. But off she went and there wasn't much anyone could do but wish her luck and tell her not to get into a trouble.

And to everyone's surprise she was completely fine, had a great time, partied A LOT, spent all her money, but came back just as vague and dreamy but in one piece. She checked in via mobile phone and email, there was nothing to worry about. Wherever you are in the world today you can find a way to get in touch with home.

So what I'm saying is, if you love them, let them go.

If she's willing to undertake a 21 hour plane journey she's got bigger balls than I have, therefore my advice is meaningless.

Kind of agree with F-C though. You've got to let 'em live their own lives. Easy for me to say with my kids behind four and one though.

....they are a lot savvier than we give them credit for.

Having grown up with the mobile phone, they don't plan, they swarm. They end up where the majority of their mates are. They cross continents to go for a few drinks. I think my son met a girlfriend in St Petersburg. She was coming in from Beijing. It all seemed very haphazard to me but it all worked out fine.

Later on, when he was studying in Brazil, he sent me a text saying, "this afternoon I am going hang gliding over Sao Paulo. It looks dangerous but it's cheap. Don't tell Mum until I'm down."

My friend's daughter went on a gap year trip and was in a similar mood to yours with regard to being in touch. It soon transpired that absence did make the heart grow fonder and she did want to keep in touch, share photos, get money etc.

Whe she does come round to it, facebook is by far the best way of doing this, as most places have some form of internet cafe and this is a quick and easy way of doing this. Much better than email or skype or anything like that.

Best to use a mobile and text to stay in touch.

I gather from your post that what is really bothering you and your other half wont' be able to get in touch with her when you want to.

Try and persuade her to call/text once a week in one shape or form to let you know how things are going. Don't be exact on times or days. I would leave it at that to be honest, because if you make firmer arrangements and for some reason she can't make a particular time you are both going to worry yourself sick. Leave it quite loose and she'll thank you for it.

Just repeat the following to her (she'll roll her eyes but it will be in her head) don't take anything through customs for other people, don't let other people put anything in your bags that isn't yours, even if they seem nice at best, or offer you money at worst. It's basic advice that hopefully she'll be aware of, but people still get caught out by that no matter how streetsmart they think they are.

Meanwhile she's as safe out there as she'll be anywhere these days. I'm presuming you trust her out and about on a Saturday night? Just think of this as a Saturday night that lasts 3 months. She'll be home before you know it.

...when I went, back in the technical stone-age of 1992. It was all traveller's cheques and letters at the Post Restante. I think I first spoke to my parents after about 6 months when I needed to hit my dad up for some cash. I did send regular postcards and air-mail letters, though. I have no idea how much worrying they did about me, and for my sins, never even assumed that they would've until reading this post - I'll ask my dad when I see him at christmas.

If it's anything like those days, your daughter will be one of a very large herd of people doing exactly the same thing, it really is a well-beaten path. She'll meet loads of interesting people, have a marvellous time, and a lifetime's worth of memories.

I would recommend an emergency Visa card and a few dollars as backup.

Most of the places shes going to are considerably safer than the UK. SE Asia in particular is a place where women are treated with great courtesy and respect. She'll have an incredible time and return enriched by the experience as long as she stays away from most fucking backpackers (this is a whole other thread possibly)

From the countries mentioned Australia is by a measure the most dangerous country populated heavily, as it is, by genetically Scottish, English and Welsh people. They drink heavily there and act like us. Not a place to send your daughter. No more worrisome than letting her go out on a Saturday night in Dunoon overall.

Shes safer in Bangkok than Manchester. Trust her. She'll be fine. Stay off her Facebook - its impossible to control whose reading your page when you accept people. Its designed to be viral . So unless you relish finding out what your child is actually like out of your sight you'll live longer if you don't look - and ask her to email you weekly but at no fixed time or day. You'll have her dead within two minutes of the deadline passing.

Mind you, a wee lecture on common scams in the far east might be worthwhile so she doesent get ripped off too often. And tell her to spend no more than one night on Koh San Road. Its a tropical Blackpool and bears the same resemblance to thai life as Mickey Mouse does to Hitler. And if something seems too cheap to be believed shes being ripped off. Wish someone had told me that before my own travels.

My daughter took a similar road a few years back at age 18.
Luckily, the laid back girl that she is perfectly complemented her very organised travelling companion.
As someone else pointed out this a well-trodden road so no particular need to be over-concerned; there'll be plenty of like-minded people to look after her and give good practical advice.
Its probably better that you don't know of every trial and tribulation along the way. No doubt she'll be in touch if anything goes wrong so generally no news is bad news.
Having said that it was always lovely when she called us. We used a combination of Skype (was fairly new to us 4 years ago) and calls from public phone booths where we would call back using the numbers that give you cheap calls (I think only about a penny a minute to Aus but about 20p to Fiji).
Most of all she came back so much more mature, ready to go to Uni and appreciative of her parents!!!