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The Fuckwits are everywhere

Gordon Kerr's picture

experience has taught us where you are likely to find this annoying creature, but last night I came across the pensioner Fuckwits!
The Lady of the House wanted to go see Vincent & Flavia from Strictly Come Dancing doing a Midnight Tango show in Bristol. Having seen and been bowled over by an Argentinian Company last year at Sadlers Wells I agreed.
Although it was Tango Lite it was passable but behind me was the dreaded bus party!!! Aaaaaghhh!
They didn't shut up the whole night! It was warm or it was cold, they wanted the toilet, they wanted the time. Where was the bus meeting them? Did anyone want a sweet? Isn't Flavia lovely? Where did she get her dresses?
And then to cap it all in the middle of an energetic Argentinian Tango with the band going full tilt the sound of gentle snoring! Some old boy had drifted off despite the racket going on around him. The thing was, nobody in the party seemed to think this was unusual in the slightest and just left him to it.
My Better Half has never understood my problem with the Fuckwits but last night she got it and the radiation that beamed from her eyes towards the lead Fuckwit when she turned and stared at them left them in no doubt as to her displeasure. Didn't shut them up though!

2

If the Fuckwits are united, they will never be divided

Which row was Mr Pursey in?

0
Uncle Wheaty | 18 July 2011 - 12:51am

M 69 obviously

:)

1
Ricardo | 18 July 2011 - 2:50am

Forgive me

for saying it, but f**kwits at a Strictly Come Dancing related event?

What are the odds of that?

8
mojoworking | 18 July 2011 - 4:28am

precisely my point

You think you'd be safe there with the coffin dodgers paying homage to their idols.
Mind you Flavia did look lovely!

0
Gordon Kerr | 18 July 2011 - 8:41am

The Coffin Dodgers

and there'll be TMFTL

0
Mousey | 18 July 2011 - 9:19am

I wonder

where she gets her dresses?

And it's getting a bit parky in 'ere. Not like in my day...

0
illuminatus | 18 July 2011 - 10:44am

Could be worse...

I attended a Lindsay Kemp performance at Sadler's Wells in the Eighties. Also in attendance were a pair of Lesser Spotted Fuckwits. Chatting gaily away to each other at an otherwise totally silent mime show.

0
Dr.Pill | 18 July 2011 - 10:24am

I would have thought...

... that a Mime Show was the one place where it didn't matter if people were noisy.

1
Formbyman | 18 July 2011 - 10:49am

My fave fuckwit comment...

...was at a Morrissey concert at the BBC where the freeloader behind me asked her friend: "Yes I remember him, wasn't he in Squeeze?"

2
kb | 18 July 2011 - 10:59am

Here's one

Wilco at the Astoria, about 2002, debuting the wonderful if challenging Yankee Hotel Foxtrot material. F•ckwit behind me, trying to impress his lady companion:
'Of course, they're just trying to sound like the Strokes'.

1
Jon | 18 July 2011 - 1:28pm

I recall a Long Ryders show at Queens University...

...Belfast circa 1987 and some bimbo who'd clearly come along with friends asking me, after a couple of numbers, 'Do they play any pop music?'

0
Colin H | 18 July 2011 - 1:33pm

A matinee performance

of Sondheim's 'Merrily We Roll Along' in Leicester some years ago was ruined for me by a coach party of elderly fws. Clearly they had taken the title literally, and were expecting a jolly romp, which most of it isn't, so they hated it. They chattered and carped all the way through. I think they got the message when we turned and glared at them several times - the worst offenders went out before the end.

0
PeteWingrave | 18 July 2011 - 2:44pm

Still, on the positive side

They should all be dead now.

0
illuminatus | 18 July 2011 - 2:57pm

doing a Midnight Tango show

is that a euphamism for something ?

If not, it deserves to be as in - "come on, let's blow this party and go and do the midnight tango"

0
Slick | 18 July 2011 - 3:39pm

Hmmm

in the words of Saint Kylie "I should be so lucky"

0
Gordon Kerr | 18 July 2011 - 4:18pm

You've

heard about me and kylie then ?

Did you hack my phone by any chance ?

0
Slick | 18 July 2011 - 4:44pm
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