Entertainment For Lively Minds
The Follicle Factor
Depressing day in the bathroom this morning. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed something I’d been denying for months. Call it climate change or simple middle age, but me hair is falling out. We’re not talking Eno/Elton John levels of deforestation here. Not yet, anyway. Even so, the future looks bald.
This got me thinking about the follicle factor in pop. Imagine an alternative universe in which four lovable Scousers were blessed not only with charm, wit and musical genius, but also the genes for premature baldness. Ringo “Homer” Starr, Paul “Moby” McCartney, John “Gandi” Lennon and George “Kojak” Harrison insisted that all the world needed was love. But would the world have listened? And would we still be sitting here today dissecting that newly revealed twiddly-twangy bit on “And Your Bird Can Sing”?
To ram home my rather obvious point: how many bald young pop stars can you name?
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Billy Corgan
was balding from a rather young age...Pop star though? Maybe not.
The world of
rock, and indeed, roll, seems full of old geezers with unfeasibly large quantities of hair.
I put it to you m'lud, that either Darwinism is missing a trick when it fails to link musical ability with the ability to grow hair, or there's something distinctly Shane Warne going on amongst our tousled favourites.
Interesting point Molesworth
Or perhaps there is some kind of self-selecting process going on in which musically gifted baldies perceive a glass ceiling that isn't really there. But I think it is. I think bald folks are generally denied the keys to the promised land.
'Tis true
and is precisely the reason Claudia Schiffer has spent all these years ignoring me.
Get Geldolf to set up Bald Aid quick.
Singer from Les Savy Fav
He has one of those upside-down faces where all his hair is at the bottom of his face but he has none on the top. I would post a picture but I can't find any where he's wearing clothes. Also, he's probably not that young. Or Pop. What about hat-wearer-about-town Gary 'Mad World' Jules?
Moby?
Those cheeky Right Said Fredders?
On the other hand, do we take Eno more seriously
because of his lack of hair? As if a true intellectual has no time for such nonsense.
True, but ...
...during his Roxy years he seemed desperate to maintain the pretence of hair.
Interestingly (or not)
In that other 'young man's alternative to prison or the dole', ie sport (and association football in particular), I can never remember seeing such a high proportion of participants completely challenged in the follicular area.
Sometimes by choice, admittedly, but still...
Musicians! Be like sportsmen! Embrace and encourage your baldness!
I always thought that Bobby Charlton...
...was the fifth Beatle. Or was it George Best?
In the 70s though
… the common practice seemed to be to compensate by growing your hair very long at the sides, a la Dave Hill, Paul Simon and Brian Eno.
It was a cunning wheeze ...
...that convinced nobody.
And who could forget
..him out of The Flying Pickets (a proto Billy Corgan eyeliner wise)? Honourable mention also goes to Rick Buckler of The Jam, Shovel - M People, Gregg Alexander - New Radicals (the Reni hat was fooling no one).
Also ...
...the bass player out of The Inspiral Carpets (a star though? - hardly), and that bloke out of Curisosity Killed the Cat. But he disguised his pate with a hat, so that's cheating. Ditto The Hedge.
"That bloke out of Curiosity Killed the Cat
"He disguised his pate with a hat"
Sounds like the start of a limerick.
But you're forgetting
Pop stars' unique ability to regrow hair — Paul Rodgers, Robin Gibb, Bono, Elton John …
Do you think Jagger has been 'done'?
?
Mick's barnet
became suspiciously ( and increasingly ) thicker after 1967. His brother and his dad, though, got balder and balder....
Someone else's great line
"Who does he think he's fooling with that wig - he looks like Captain Mainwaring got up as Pam Ayres ".
Fish from Marillion
He was losing his hair well before he quit the band in 1987.
You never see
the old treeline any more - bald on top, long round the sides. Nowadays you shave the lot off at the first side of thinning, like it was a deliberate style choice.
There was a picture of Jethro Tull up here recently where the guitarist had the old version - not seen on the rock stage for at least 15 years now.
Miles Hunt
Had a few thoughts on it on "Never Loved Elvis", I can remember him opining that "Baldness is under everybody's hair" and wanting to cut it, also that it's growing thin. Obviously a concern at the time.
He also mentions another baldie, Michael Stipe.
I showed this thread to a young colleague
who nominated "That bloke out of Seal".
I remember as a youngster
worrying far too much about my latest fave band (big blush here) containing a terribly balding keyboard player. Sadly it wasn't Roxy but King. Twenty years later I'd be proud to sport the scant locks he sported.
On the plus side for 'the bald community' as Larry David would call it, can I nominate Neil Young who, whilst not really bald, lets it thin without any obvious extras?
I'm not a big fan of Neil's barnet..
...although he clearly doesn't give a toss. Or does he? Is it possible that he thinks that threadbare patch of bramble attached to his skull is cool? He can't be more than one or two strands away from a Bobby Charlton comb-over these days.
Can I just say?
That I'm very close to fifty and I've got tons of hair.
Loads of it.
It's great.
Lovely hair.
Yes, but ...
...can you rock, and otherwise roll?
Damn Right.
I can.
I was born to it.
The original point, gentlemen...
Skin (from Skunk Anansie)
Her who played bass for Echobelly.
Sal Solo.
Angry Anderson.
That bloke what did all the dancing and that for Howard Jones.
Fran Healy's been struggling a bit. Is he young?
Chas Smash
Buster Bloodvessel
Rob Halford
Errol Brown
Isaac Hayes
James Brown (if anyone can pinpoint the time when the syrup first went on..)
Roland Gift
Matey-boy from the Shitehouse Family. Wasn't he bald?
Anyone else? No using Google.
OOOooooooo
Get you!
Baldy.
Hey..
Plenty of barnet over here..
Loads.
A few Arctic Blond highlights around the temples, mind..
Arctic Blonde?
Do you mean gray?
I don't mean gray.
Grey perhaps..
It takes my hairdresser hours to put them in and make them look natural. So much that, if you ask her, she'll deny she put them in.
They lend me an air of gravitas.
The singer bloke from the Christians
I always thought that he was Henry Priestman - turns out it was Gary Christian, much to my confusion when I got the album (Chronicles of Modern Life - top album)
Stipe - textbook balding rockstar
He tried growing it long to hide the damage, then did the hat thing for a bit, then went for a full-on 'yeah I'm a baldie - so what?' shave off.
Curious...
On Jonny Walker's show, a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned how Robert Plant had been saying that the Led Zep O2 reunion wouldn't have happened had he been bald.
I'm sure we've all noticed a few singers/actors whose barnets look suspiciously thicker now than, say, five years ago. Can't really blame people, as if you're trying to shift product to the kids, you don't want to seem too ancient. If you're in the Dubliners, it probably wouldn't make too much difference, but they all had great hair too, the sods. And beards.
If the Beatles were Bald
This is my contention, that if the mop tops had been slap tops they wouldn't have been the same phenomenon. On the plus side though, we wouldn't have had John's 'Hair Peace' nonsense, would we?
I have longish, over the collar hair.
I felt distinctly strange the other day when I noticed that I was the only male on the bus with hair. I have also had one or two Easy Rider moments in the odd pub amongst the lager swilling football crowd. Even the children had close crops.
A bald friend gets very annoyed at the current fashion trend, his argument being that he cannot choose to have hair. Peter Gabriel looks alright, now he's dropped the Gary Glitter goatee, and Eno looks better bald and distinguished.
Hair and height - the essential pre-reqs
A band only looks really great when each and every member has 'good' hair and are of a very similar height.
Think Beatles, Stones, Floyd, Roses, Byrds, Monkees, Strokes, Kings of Leon, Beach Boys, Interpol, Faces - all with great hair and of same-ish height.
Bad hair in great groups who just don't look quite right in photos: Blur (Dave), early Oasis (Bonehead, Tony), The Clash (Mick, Topper), Coldplay (Chris & the drummer), The Who (Roger), U2 (Edge), REM (none of 'em with great hair), The Jam (Rick)...
Bad height and hair: Fleetwood Mac. They'll never look great with Fleetwood or Mac around.
Hmmm, height
being 5' 7'' and with vibrant hair, I could fit into a Rock Band, couldn't I ? The Stones are on the short side, so is Van, but I'm not fat, and my voice is too deep to stand in for Jon Anderson. (Don't mention the dog biscuit).
Bad
Pore ole Michael Jackson apparently had receding hairline, which he had had tattooed over. According to the report that came out the other day, he was bald at the front and with a bald patch and had very short, tightly-curled hair round the sides.
I am pretty sure Jagger has been "done'. And I bet Macca too.
Hows about
anyone going for the pelmet with rats tail plait? That always looks pitiful.
If Carlos Santana was to go bald...
...Should he sing 'Oye Comb Over'?
I think he should.
Andy Partridge
but it's whats inside your head that counts