Intelligent Life On Planet Rock
The Bill From HELL (or beyond)
The Ticket Factory (the NEC/NIA ticketing agency)sent me their weekly newsletter yesterday evening.
My usual scan of the assorted gigs and trade shows was halted by the following:
"Midlands Music Festival featuring Blue, Sugababes, Lemar, JLS, Eoghan Quigg, The Automatic, Liz McClarnon. Andy Abraham, Chico and many more".
Disturbing on so many levels.
Firstly, its at Tamworth Castle on 8th August - what have the poor, simple folk of Tamworth done to deserve this? Don't they suffer enough just living in Tamworth?
Secondly, who decided that this was "Music"? Hard to imagine there will be a real musician within a 10 mile radius (the Automatic maybe an exception). It will be a bit of a musical Chernobyl.
Thirdly, its a poor show when "many more" looks like the best thing on the bill. However, further investigation shows that this actually includes Laura White (strangely attractive Cowell product), Austin Drage (strangely asexual Cowell product), Rachel Hylton (feisty Cowell product), Everybody Looks Famous (???? don't ask me...), Right Said Fred (at last, some vintage quality - Glasto has the Boss/Young/Blur triumvirate, this has RSF) and Jaime Jay (young, female, er, that's it).
All I can say is thank God I'll be sat outside a bar in Cuenca, Spain on that very day. Makes me ashamed to say that I live in the Midlands.
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The Out of Cowell Contract Festival
Looks like that the Automatic reached a crossroads.
Tamworth
Local legend says that Des O'Connor once appeared live at Tamworth, and in his routine, described the town as 'A cemetery with lights'. The locals took umbrage at this, and supposedly the shops refused to stock his records.
I have no idea if this is true. I'd like to think that it is.
I'd agree with almost everything
- but Sugababes are a fine pop act.
Seconded
They have an excellent catalogue from which to draw.
Not too bothered about the absence of 'real musicians' either. That's not necessarily a draw back to a real good time
Des O'Connor
was kind if that is what he said. I lived there for a while with my first wife. To be fair The Castle is the one redeeming factor. The Town centre is truly awful - a violent and mean spirited atmosphere prevails. There is no culture to be had in this town so the line up continues the lack of expectation by the local population. Perhaps they should make Simon Cowell the mayor - it would be right up his street.
Supporting Santa and The Lord Mayor
The switching on of Christmas lights in major metropolitan cities is always good for a laugh/existential crisis.
I've been going to the ones in Leeds for a couple of years now and the line up is always the same: some kiddy band you've never heard of (and never will again), someone done up as a popular children's character (Bob the Builder, a rebooted Bill & Ben), someone from a local production of a kid friendly musical that no one cares about, someone who was a runner up in the X Factor at some unspecified time in the past, someone who used to be in a semi popular band (Simon Webbe, Alesha Dixon), and the headliner will be the previous year's X Factor winner (unless it's Leona Lewis, who is obviously doing too well to lower herself to such depths).
My full report, because I know you are desperate to learn more, can be found here