Entertainment For Lively Minds
The 10 Rules of rock and roll
I have recommended separately a new collection of music writings by Robert Forster, formerly of the Go Betweens
Without wishing to steal his thunder, Word readers may be interested / amused in his list. My personal favourite is #7, closely followed by #10.
1 Never follow an artist who describes his or her work as dark.
2. The second last song on every album is the weakest.
3. Great bands tend to look alike.
4. Being a rock star is a 24 hour a day job.
5. The band with the most tattoos has the worst songs.
6. No band does anything new on stage after the first 20 minutes.
7. The guitarist who changes guitars on stage after every third number is showing you his guitar collection.
8. Every great artist hides behind his manager.
9. Great bands don't have members making solo albums.
10.The three piece band is the purest form of rock and roll expression.
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Surely,
In rock and roll, there are NO RULES!
there are in
good rock and roll
Rule 11
When pop stars start referring to their work as "art", reach for your revolver.
Rule 12: It's never too early to go Back To Basics.
May I suggest your first target...
"product"
is when alarm bells really start ringing and by then it's too late,
Elvis Costello says...
....that the best track is usually number four because it's not one of the obvious singles but is still very appealing.
Typical Song
It was either Roger Scott or Bob Harris who said that the track typical of the album was the first on the second side, or after the CD revolution, track seven.
If you liked track seven, you liked the album.
I remember coming across a variation of this regarding books (How to Read a Novel: A User's Guide by John Sutherland). If you liked what you read on page 69, buy the book.
Page 69
That's almost exactly the same sytem I use when deciding to take something out of the library. The only difference is that I read page 67, foir no better reason that that is the year I was born.
He did..
in this article. 500 albums essential to a happy life.
http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/Vanity_Fair_2000-11-01
There are also 2 more articles with Mr C advising us on round the clock listening.
http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/24_Hours_of_Music_Pt_1
http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/24_Hours_of_Music_Pt_2
Wonderfully entertaining stuff I think.
Rule No 2
Well, someone had to say it, but...that means that the following songs are all the worst off their respective albums:
Ballerina
Nightswimming
Unfaithful Servant
Obviously Five Believers
Shelter From the Storm
A Case Of You
A Hazy Shade Of Winter
Dancing In The Dark
It's All Right Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
Shine A Light
Ooh Las Vegas
The Needle And The Damage Done
Yesterday
Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues
Rock Me On The Water
Layla
Monkey Man
If I Needed Someone
OK, those are the exceptions. But I'm willing to concede that, having gone through my iTunes library, you're absolutely right. It's amazing how often the weakest track is the penultimate one.
But surely...
...there you're picking records with exceptional reputations. The main reason they have exceptional reputations is that they have lots of good songs. This doesn't apply to the average album which has three.
Yeah...
...that occurred to me as I was looking. It also occurred to me that my taste isn't as wide ranging as I like to think!
Rule 10
the 3 piece band...I think the 4 piece where number 4 is the singer who doesn't play an instrument (The Who or The Smiths come to mind) is the purest, where every member does what they do and there's really no crossover in the roles.
Absolutely
The Clash (did Strummer play *that much* on the records?)
The Stone Roses
The Beatles
Kraftwerk
Manic Street Preachers (yes, I know..............)
4 - is the magic number!
The Beatles?
Did they have a singer out front doing nothing else?
cf Kraftwerk.
Lennon.
Rudimentary guitarist. Richey Edwards in a suit...
*launches grenade and stands back...............
nb - Kraftwerk count. They looked cool and had the stand alone "singer" in Hutter.
Lennon
Rudimentary guitarist ? John Lennon ? no no no no my friend .Lennon was a master guitar player .His sense of dynamic within the song framework was THE main Beatle ingredient as far as the instrumentation went. Yes I know the bass ,the drumming and Georges lead were all wonderful but Lennons guitar was the font of the Fabs mate .I hope you are not a Clapton "up the top end all the time "dupe .
M'lud, I cite the R.E.M. case in support:
R.E.M. with Berry, Buck, Mills and Stipe = fantabulouso.
R.E.M. with Buck, Mills and Stipe = merely average to very good.
Case proved?
Rule 8.
Dylan? Bowie? Prince? Kate Bush? Have they ever hidden behind their managers?
All the managers I've ever met...
...know that their main job is to be nasty on behalf of the artist, thereby freeing the artist to be "a really nice guy".
Well, I still don't think
Dylan or Prince operate under those terms. Dylan was always reported to be notoriously obtuse when doing the necessary promotional obligations (he may have mellowed recently). Prince seems to part company with his manager du jour on a weekly basis, because he is such a control freak that he thinks he can do everything better than anyone else.
I've just thought of someone else this 'rule' certainly doesn't apply to. If his manager is being nasty so Van Morrison can be 'Mr Nice Guy', he's seriously contravening his job description.
The "Scary Monsters" rule...
"Definitely his/their/her* best album since (insert multi spoondillions selling one). A true return to form"
Back away slowly........
albert grossman
certainly shielded and allowed dylan to flourish.
re 3 piece -as lou reed coincidentally said at a concert I attended there is nothing so pure as the sound of drums bass and guitar
ladies and gentlemen - i give you Cream
I am not saying , and I doubt that forster is either, that there aren't good, nay excellent 4 ,5 6 piece bands etc. It is just there is something special when a 3 piece band nails it.