Entertainment For Lively Minds
Substitute swear words
Posted by Moose the Mooche on 25 September 2011 - 8:44pm.
I work in Adult Education. At my work there is a "Talking Wall", which is a whiteboard in the corridor where students can write comments, suggestions or queries.
The board this week, it being the beginning of term, was empty - except that one troubled soul had simply written, in plaintive lowercase,
"oh heck".
Which got me to thinking - what are our favourite substitutes for swearing? You know, when we're around kids, the elderly or the middle class and feel the need for a f**k but have to make do with a fiddlesticks.
What are your favourites? The blimeys, the blummens, the flippins, the flamin' noras? Or will you the cripes, the crikeys or the f-f-f-fade aways?
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Naff Off!
© Norman Stanley Fletcher
Nerk!
Nerk!
Norks!
;-)
Twunt
Covers both bases!
Fudge
Fudge
"Bunnies!" or "Bobbins!"
Both stand in for 'bollocks', which is my word of choice in moments of exasperation.
Belgium
© Douglas Adams
Mother
Hubbard
Jupiter !!
Emperor Nero via Danny Baker
or you could learn to swear in Czech.
"Kurňa !" should cover all bases.
Muddy Funster!
Does this count
I really enjoy adding a swear word to into swearing substitute phrases.
Fiddle De F*cking Dee is it satisfying!
Forget You, Melon Farmer!
I watched Jackie Brown on a plane about 10 years ago and the replacement swear words to make it all OK for family viewing were hilarious. Interestingly, De Niro shooting a young woman dead in supermarket car park (for nagging) was just fine.
"What the...
... blinking flip!?" is my fave.
These days I usually go with...
... Holy Funkadelic!
Feck!
A stroke of genius, that.
not to mention
"Arsebiscuits!"
Bluedigga bonk...
...swearing I made up when I was about 5. My dad adopted it for when he felt sweary, to the great confusion of all.
Thanks to Red Dwarf
Smegging gets a daily usage, and Gimp / Gimboid are on fairly regular rotation as well.
Bummocks
one of the few things gifted to the English language by Sarah Kennedy*, who once read a letter from a listener whose three year old had used this particular rejoinder unexpectedly.
I must also admit to a an occasional predilection for: blinking flip, smeg, gimboid and feck from time to time.
* yes, yes, and White Van Man as well.
Bunnocks!
This was from my (then) three year old.
t has remained in the vocabulary ever since.
"By the cringe!"
Following on from the 'forget you' suggestion, does the BBC still dub films anymore? One of the great joys of watching flicks in the 80s/early 90s was the bad dubbing.
lummacks
not sure if that's how best to spell it.
My brother
is a born-again Christian, so he doesn't swear, as a matter of course. When he is particularly narked by an event or person, his phrase of choice is 'Dear LIFE!' The amount of venom he can inject into the word 'life' is simply unbelievable.
Since hving kids
Curses! Good grief, good Lord and chuffing have all been engaged to various degrees. Good grief, being the one that work mates take the piss out of most.
Oh, and at the risk of waking up the Blog's class warriors*, can I just observe that in my experience the 'middle classes' (if you can tell who they are any more) are just as, if not more, likely to swear/tolerate swearing in public as their 'working class' counterparts these days.
*no further correspondence on the subjet of class will be entered into, by me at least.
Just being facetious, as per
The various middle classes, like children and the elderly, swear pretty much continuously when they are just talking to each other.
Or when talking to themselves...
*searches in vain for youtube clip of opening to Four Weddings and a Funeral to back that up*
Sweariest opening to a film ever?
Oh, since having kids.
There's a truth. I'm a fairly sweary sort of chap, to be honest - not to excess, but just enough - but since the Boblets were born I've noticed myself saying "crumbs" and "hell's bells" around the house a lot.
Nuts
© Charles Schultz
Letters of the alphabet are good too. Started with the obvious 'Eff!' moving on to the equally useful "See!" and more restrained "Pee!".
All quite unnecessary nowadays. My children are more likely to swear then I am.
From Stan Lee
Stan had a number of great words/phrases ("Excelsior!") that he shoehorned into his Marvel comics editorials in the 70s. The one that always stayed with me was "furshlugginer", as in:
"Where the heck did I leave that furshlugginer thing??"
Is it something derived from Yiddish? I'd love to know.
Furshlugginer...
...used to get used in Mad magazine a lot, so he probably picked it up from there.
*update* What I said: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/furshlugginer
Thank you
This place is an education in itself....
My 7 year old daughter's current favourites...
"Bolly!"
"Bummywhackers!"
"Oh goodness, oh gracious!"
And not forgetting...
"Good grief Charlie Brown!"
My giddy aunt
and Gordon Bennett make frequent appearances at my house. My GLW being a Weegie does not understand my reluctance to swear in front of the kids.
Sugar!
I just spilled my coffee
One more I forgot
OMGA = Oh My Giddy Aunt