Entertainment For Lively Minds
Students - Can't Live with Them......
You have read my previouse blog on the great student question.The question is are they hard working misunderstood academics or was "Bottom" a searingly accurate critique. My son is just completing his first holiday at home from college. My only comment is that summer is going to be bloody long, particularly if he does not get a job.In the the dark and distant past when I was a student (fags 12d a packet, four course meal for 6 and still have change from 19/6d)I hated being away from home. I counted the weeks off on a calender and my parents were pleased to see me back. Scan forward 30 odd years and times have changed. He is at home under sufference (his and ours)on top of which no temporary student jobs can be found this side of 2015.
He is not a bad lad, just that the house is not big enough for the 4 of us. Any body in a similar situation?
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A pedant writes...
Bottom wasn't about students. Are you thinking of the Young Ones?
I was
an insufferable git when I came back home during the summer (this was nineties). I think everyone was happiest when I got night-shift work at a factory.
I sympathise. This too will pass...
The Young Ones
Sorry yes, they blend in to one in my mind as I could not stand either. Those halcyon days of comedy ....
I must have
been a nightmare. Always drunk, turning up late for meals (drunk), taking up a strong left wing position purely to start arguments with my Dad, all the usual stuff.
The problem was that I was used to doing what I wanted and living my own life. Having had a glimpse of total freedom, it was hard to go back to living under someone else's rules. Particularly as I was used to drinking or taking drugs most days. Some of those holidays seemed to go on forever.
In the end I stopped going home for summer - stayed in my uni city, got a job (or not) and just hung out. I split my time between home and my digs for the other holidays. It was good - taught me stand on my own two feet and also to respect my time at home a lot more.
Easy
Some are hard-working misunderstood academics and some are like The Young Ones. You can't make a sweeping generalisation about a group like that.
It is difficult returning home from university for the holidays though, for students and parents alike. I can see why you're not looking forward to the summer but look at it from his point of view:
- He's just got used to a life of independence and suddenly he's back with the family
- Jobs are not easy to come by. I can't speak for your son but I really tried to get a job when back from university and found it incredibly difficult to land one. Employers aren't willing to take people on temporarily; what's in it for them?
- Loads and loads of free time, but no money. It's basically not too dissimilar from being unemployed
I'm sure you're a lovely person, N2Peach, but I'd wager your son isn't exactly relishing the prospect of a summer back with you either. It's a question of compromise on both sides - he needs to make concessions for the fact he's not away any more and you need to realise he's a different person from the one who left to start higher education.
Just wait until he's graduated and moves back in. Then the fun really starts ;)
This
^^^^ Is right
Funnily enough, I slacked at University - 10 - 12 hours of lectures. Spent the rest of the time reading, drinking and either emptying quiz machine or feeding Star Force.
Holidays at home? Worked my proverbial off. Admittedly a great job, but I worked hard.
Worked out for the Wrinklies and me.
In my experience of parenthood...
....the eighteen plus years are the most fun. And best of all is the bit where they start bringing home boyfriends and girlfriends. As soon as they do that they have to start behaving like adults.
My experience has been that
they are keen to take the benefits of adulthood - boyfriend "sleepovers", a car to drive, allowed to drink - but none of the mundane responsibilities - empty a bin, clean a kitchen etc. I now understand why my Mum would rant about providing a hotel, not a home.
For me
Came home to spend the Summer of 1972 with me folks after 3 terms at Uni... me old Mum (Gawd how I miss that woman) said to me: "Right, some ground rules. I have got you a summer job. (which she had). You will give me £3.00 per week board and lodgings, you will have your old room back, and you can come and go as you please. But remember, under my roof, you will obey my rules or find somewhere else to stay. And you don't need to cut your hair. Just wash it every now and then."
Well, no room for dubiety there. And I did obey her rules, gave some stuff up temporalily, and we got on just fine.
Perhaps Peachy something similar might work?
The Job - Aye there's the rub
The girlfriend did indeed invoke more adult behavioure. He only kept that up for 2 months then she had to go, poor girl. The problem will be the summer job or the getting of one. 5 days a week at the "coal face" gives your life structure, you can salt some funds away and your not such a pest.
A part of the problem is we live in an area where parents can afford to indulge (or spoil)their offsprings. We do not and can not afford to follow that path. I think Peachy Junior has only become aware of that with the onset of college. When parents are buying a new car as an 18th birthday present you know you are in another league (all be it still quite a comfortable one).
I can see a summer of voluntary work in the charity shops looming...
Going 'home' for holidays.
Except for a week at Christmas, it never crossed my mind to go back to my parents' house for the summer holidays while I was at college.
Mind you, I'd already left home before I went away so it wasn't 'home' it that sense. Even so, I'm sure most of us stayed and worked through the holidays.
Were me and all my friends the only people who didn't go back to the parental home?
My older kids all came home for the holidays
although they did a couple of Inter-rail jaunts in the long vac.
The younger kids are both talking about going to a University within daily commuting distance of home so they don't have to live away.
I knew some people who didn't go back
But I always did. The twin combination of seeing old friends and not having enough money to stay for the whole summer pretty much sold it for me.
Home is not where the heart is...
The fly in the ointment of staying away to work is Unite. They are the landlords for a very large number of students. When you pay over £3k a year that does not cover accomodation for the summer holidays so what are you to do....Try and get other accomodation or return to the bossom of your family? Not easy, it all hinges on where you can get a temporary job. As Peachy Junior is at college in Liverpool I think he will be returning to the Derbyshire Dales ancestral home.
@ JoLean . reading through this
and finally a post that reasonates with my own experience. left for college never went back (to stay), bizarre to think otherwise.