Entertainment For Lively Minds
Springwatch: Budget Edition
Posted by Fraser Lewry on 10 June 2010 - 4:54pm.
This isn't the greatest wildlife footage you'll ever see, but it will give you an insight into the state of the Word kitchen. It features our local rodent, the fearless Dizzee Rasquirrel, brazenly stealing food almost from our very mouths. Immediately prior to the footage captured here, Dizzee had unscrewed the top from a jar of peanut butter, and stuffed his chubby little rodent face with its contents.
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I have recently acquired a shot gun licence,
and my per diem rate is very competitive. Kindly move anything you don't want drilled with lead out of the kitchen over the next few days, and have a disposable spatula and a bin-liner ready when I call round. Warn the neighbours about the possibility of a few loud bangs.
Lost our chickens last night
Lost our chickens last night to a badger. Can you come down with your new toy please.
It might have been a fox I suppose. Can you account for your whereabouts between 10.00pm and 4.00am?
I, er, um,
oh dear. It must have been a full moon.
At the previous Fox Towers, we had our own chickens slaughtered by the local vulpine villain on the single night that I forgot to close the chicken run door. It was not at all pleasant. What's worse, the poor devil himself came to an even grislier and more horrible end when he strayed onto the lawns of the vile and unpleasant example of Homo Sapiens next door. Now there was a worthy target. But that's another story.
Intelligent animal life on planet rock...
Fabulous. I wish I had a pet squirrel. You lucky, lucky people...
Play it some Mahavishnu Orchestra... it'll love 'em.
Hmmm
I wouldn't say he was a pet, exactly.
If you keep that door shut...
The problem is solved!
If I find out you've cooked him, Fraser...
I'm cancelling my subscription!
He's so sweeeet!
He's an interloper.
This chap belongs here.
A pox on the greys.
Not sure about the feng shui in that kitchen Fraser ...
...but the squirrel seems oblivious.
It's a rat
"Ees a squirrel."
IT'S A RAT! Do you not have rats in islington or did Hepworth have them all shot in the punk wars?
Don't move! Vermin!
We haven't got any this week, Major.
Fraser
Give Mark E Smith a Call-ah
Has he been trained
By Andrew Collins ?
Illustration Of D.J Squirrel
for next months cover.Executed in a lurid psychedelic palette.It will fly off the shelves.
Someone needs to
fix the front of that sink.
Tsk.