Diamond Dogs... but I am not typing that out.

In ancient times,
hundreds of years before the dawn of history,
lived an ancient race of people.
The Druids.

No one knows who they were
or what they were doing.
But their legacy remains.
Hewn into the living rock
of Stonehenge.

OK, Gil Scott Heron B-Movie, if memory serves about 5-6 minutes? Great, Reagan jabbing stuff.

On a hot summer night...

'Is she really going out with him?'.

The only versions I've heard start with JJ singing 'Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street...'

???

Ya can't come in.
Ya can't come in.

I'm singing for you covered in sequens *chuckle*

of naffness. Jim'll and DDDBM&T.

In Spanish, too.

Patti Smith

And you kids
get on your feet now
And get ready and it's rock and roll
Showaddywaddy

... "Alright. Here it is... again...and it's called...

12XU!!"

Everybody be cool, this is a robbery.
Any of you flippin sticks move, and I'll execute every motherflippin last one of you.*

Not heard the Dury version above before. Clear enunciation- my mum used to like that sort of thing.

*Other versions of this opener are available.

...when to go aht
I know when to stay in
Get fings dahn."

Oh, and one of the 12" mixes of Welcome to the Pleasuredome (with the fruit bowl on the cover) with Geoffrey Palmer's Coleridgean intro which inexplicably ends with with "Welcome to the PleasureDROME".

Or maybe I should get out more often.

(apologies if it's bindun, I'm on my phone so can't view any of the clips above).

(ps it would be hugely helpful if anyone else posting clips put the title and band as part of their post, please)

Watch this!
This is the heavy heavy monster sound.
The nuttiest sound around,
so if you're coming off the street
and you're beginning to feel the beat
then listen Buster
You'd better start to move your feet
to the rockingist, rocksteady beat
of Madness
One...
Step...
Beyond!!!!

[carnage ensues]

I saw the nutty boys at the very first Madstock. This (natch) was the first song. Chas just started with "Hey" and the *entire* audience was shouting it out with him. Famously the noise levels were such it was like an earthquake was erupting.

The Leader Of The Pack by The Shangri-Las have a spoken intro.

Butthole Surfers (fades in v gradually)

Sugar Plum Fairy...

...entangle the entire area..."

CSNY "Almost Cut My Hair'

The Beatles "I Saw Her Standing There"

Jane's Addiction's Ritual De Lo Habitual.

"Hwanna's Addicsione!!"

Fish and Chips Part II, by Eddie and the Hot Rods

'And on thith nek-tht track...'

"Shall I do the aaahs or do them later...?"

Phase one, in which Doris gets her oats."

Well I'm a US Male cause I was born
In a Mississippi town on a Sunday morn
Now Mississippi just happens to occupy a place
In the southeastern portion of these here United States
Now that's a matter of fact, buddy, and you know it well
So I just call myself the US Male
And that's a M-A-L-E son
And that's me.

Naff vid but nice song

where Edith Piaf used to say "use your faults, use you're defects, then you're gonna be a star."

Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Grace Jones...Jones, Slave To The Rhythm.

... time for lunch

...it can only be: Minstrel In The Gallery by Jethro Tull.

(Surprised no one's mentioned Dexy's This Is What She's Like yet - which has about 10 minutes of rambling speech before any music happens)

I'm particularly partial to the studio chat at the beginning of this. Has a Firebird ever sounded better? They are clearly playing live in the studio, and it shows. In a good way.

Remarkable that someone thought that was a good picture for the album cover!

I'm surprised not to see a mention of Prince's Let's Go Crazy yet. I can't find the proper opening of the film Purple Rain, which is one of the greatest openings to a film ever (there's what looks like a heavily edited version on youtube). When the drums kick in and we see the front line with Prince, Wendy Melvoin and The Other Guy moving in perfect synchronisation, it has a very powerful effect on me. Pure sex and charisma. Anyway, here's a none-too-shabby live version.

For those of you watching in black and white this one's in technicolour

in the black minin' hills of Dakota....

I've always thought of this as spoken but now that I submit it I realize maybe it's not.

Also seems to be a dispute as to whether the word is minin' or mountain. I've always heard minin'.

Jimi Hendrix - 3rd Stone From The Sun (with added voice from Chas Chandler).

Chip Douglas: "7A." (referring to the take of the song)
Davy Jones: "What number is this, Chip?"
Chip Douglas and others in unison (annoyed): "7A!"
Davy Jones: "Okay. I mean, don't get excited, man. It's just 'cause I'm short, I know."

Isaac Hayes turns the intro to a Jimmy Webb classic into a movie script in itself.

Now, like all real life experience stories, this also begins once a polly tito, and Happiness Stan, whose life evolved the ephemeral colour dreamy most, and his deep joy in this being the multicolour of the moon. Oh yes. His home a victoriana charibold, the four-wheel folloped ft-ft-ft out the back. Now, as eve on his deep approach, his eye on the moon. Alltime sometime deept joy of a full moon scintyladen dangly in the heavenly bode. But now only half! So, gathering all behind him the hintermost, he ploddy-ploddy forward into the deep complicadent fundermold of the forry to sort this one out.

on The Way We Were by Gladys Knight and the Pips. "Well you know everyone's talking about the good old days, the good old days.....try to remember that kind of September when life was slow and oh so mellow... and if you remember, follow....why does it seem the past was always better, we look back and think,'The winters were warmer, the grass was greener..." etc etc

One of the best ever soul records - four minutes or so of tortured wittering from I believe the great J Blackfoot who died this past week (very full tribute in the Guardian's obit pages). The opening line "Are you going out..again tonight?" is real shiver me timbers stuff building to some really pleading wailing about his wife slippin' around...

Lovely Joe Tex song with great spoken intro...

Harold Melvin - Be for real - feat.Teddy Pendergrass

Could pick from any number of Bobby Womack songs - this is a belter!

I hate purity, I hate goodness ... not me I hasten to add.

Hi there, nice to be with you,happy you could stick around. Would like to introduce "Legs" Larry Smith, drums..Sam Spoons, rhythm pole...Vernon Dudley Bohay-Nowall, bass guitar... and Neil Innes, piano... come in Rodney Slater on the saxaphone... with Roger Ruskin-Spear on tenor sax... hi Vivian Stanshall, trumpet...big hello to Big John Wayne, xylophone... and Robert Morley, guitar... Billy Butler, spoons..and looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler, vibes...nice.... etc etc etc

Of course you are, My bright little star
etc. etc.

Moody Blues - In The Beginning from 'Threshold Of A Dream'

this is the theatre of the stars!

Intro to 'Zodiac Sign' by Imperial Drag.

(love to know who spoke the words - very Leslie Phillips)

You Best Believe I'm In Love - L U V

New York Dolls - Looking For A Kiss

begins with a very stoned voice saying "Have you ever had gassssssssss before?"

...the three travelers, men of Willowdale, emerge from the forest shadow.

The finest example of Dungeons & Dragons rock there is

..a cousin of mine who's gone on..but we'd like tuh..."

Shania Twain's "You're Still The One"
Jacko's "Heal The World"
Lonnie Donegan's "Rock Island Line"
Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True" (I really mean that much to you? - yuk)

but I'm also shoehorning in "Greased Lightning" - hyyyyyyyyydromatic!

I bought Horace and Boris and Doris and Maurice, they said OK Ken.

Stan Webb - Chicken Shack on Remington Ride

(We've done this before, haven't we?)

Billericay Dickie

I Want To Be Straight.

Apologies if already done, can't see what unamed YouTube embeds are on mobile device.

"'Allo".

Glass Spider, from the much maligned Never Let Me Down, an album which i find a lot more listenable these days despite the slating it always gets from die-hards.

The narrow archway; the layers; the scroll of ancient letters.
We worship the flaw, the belly, the belly, the mole on the belly of an exquisite whore.
He spared the child and spoiled the rod. I have not sold myself to God.

You've always been searching for something

Big Jimmy YEAH Burn it down YEAH Oh for God's sake, burn it down!

What really went on there, we only have this excerpt

I want all you skinheads to get up on your feet
Put your braces together and your boots on your feet
And give me some of that old moonstomping

Wreckless Eric Pop Song

You know, when you say your marriage vows, they're supposed to be for real. I mean, if you think back about what you really said, you know, about, honour and loving and obeying till death do us part and all. But it shouldn't be that way, it should, it should, it shouldn't be lies because it turns out to be lies. If you don't honour what you said, you lied to God. The words should be changed.

Ouch.

"Ok Lets do it." Might be a bit more to it but can't recall right now.

"What really went on there. We only have this excerpt-ah".

"When what used to excite you does not. Like you've used up all your allowance of experiences."

Taken from Robocop but great intro nonetheless. Never heard anyone else remark about its similarities to Firestarter by The Prodigy.

Rain is wet
Sugar is Sweet
Clap your hands
Stomp your feet

Hey,
now just get in
And close the door
And put your foot down

OK, tape's rolling
This is about Joyce McKinney in the naughty naked nude
Keep it slow
OK, OK

how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find

'In his autumn before the Winter comes man's last mad surge of youth.'
'What on Earth are you talking about?'

alright, bill?

If you let me stay - Terence Trent Darby

Tribute - Pasedenas

Great example of Steve Albini production where its very quiet and then gets very loud.

Oh boy I loved this when it came out. Still do.

The following tone is a reference tone recorded at our operating level.

...girls and f*cked 'em at school
All I know is that
There were rumours he was into field hockey players
There were rumours
- So he applied basically
- He was gone the next day
- And went off with the team
- It's like - he was got - they'd just like
It was like so hush hush
They were so... quiet about it
And then the next thing you know...

and the Shawn Colvin one above reminded me of Robbie Robertson - Somewhere Down The Crazy River, not sure why

You broke my heart
'Cause I couldn't dance
You didn't even want me around
And now I'm back, to let you know
I can really shake 'em down....

Turning Blue - Iggy Pop

See a black Eldorado
Oh, rolling along down below my window
That black girl in the back looks pretty good
Christ! She's beautiful
You know how soft she is
Just what you feel like

Oh, I'm so far away from her
Jesus...this is Iggy

Every song he ever did, especially...

Take it off
Baby, take it all off
I wanna see you the way you came into the world
I dont wanna feel no clothes
I dont wanna see no panties
And take off that brassiere, my dear
Everybody's gone
I'm taking the receiver off the phone
Because baby you and me...
This night....
We're gonna get it on
To love serenade....

Robbie Robertson spoken lyrics plus some excellent drumming !

...they keep you regular, they're real good for ya.

'E's a real tasty geezer!

When we tread this land we walk for one reason, to try to help another man think for himself.
The music of our heart is roots music, music which recalls history because without the knowledge of history you can’t determine your own destiny.
Music about the present because if you’re not conscious of your present, you’re like a cabbage in this society.
Music which tells about the future, and the judgment which is to come...

'It's Warhol actually. Warhol. Hole as in holes. Andy Warhol (laughter). Somehow it's the perfect contrast to the excellent sounding guitar into.

One month ago today, I was happy as a lark. Now I go for walks, to the movies, maybe to the park. I have a seat on the same old bench to watch the children play. You see, tomorrow's their future, but to me it's just another day. They all gather round me, they seem to know my name. We laugh, tell a few jokes, but it still doesn't ease my pain. I know I can't hide from a memory, though day after day I've tried. Friends keep saying "She'll be back". But today, again, I (write? - never sure of that word)...

Seven inches of pure cheese. Chi-Lites, "Have You Seen Her". Perfect.

"Get ready. You're in heaven when you hear Big Seven."

Not sure if any other Judge Dread records have speaky bits at the start though.

Also - can't view the vids above at the moment, but is this mentioned anywhere?

"I don't know where my baby is
But I'll find him, somewhere, somehow.
I've got to let him know how much I care
But I'll never give up looking for my baby..."

Will I ever get tired of hearing this? According to one site it is this but in the clip he says something different.

I am the magnificent

I'm backed by the shack of a soul boss most turnin' stormin' sound o'soul

I am double u o,o,o and I'm still up here again

You don't see rabbits being walked down the street
And you don't see many cats on leads
Dogs pet dogs dogs rapacious wet dogs
Owner of dogs slow-witted dog owner
Owner of rabid dog saving fare for tunnel
Euro-dream of civil, civil liberation for dogs
Society secret society inevitable nightmare
Of drift dog pet dogs street bullshit
Dog shit baby bit ass-lick dog mirror
Dead tiger shot and checked out by dog
Big tea-chest-fucker dog
Black collar sends East German refugee back switch and crap pathetic
Of earth-like lousy dog role model for infidel doghouse continent
Most citadel dog-eye mirror hypnotic school slaver and learn
Rot from dog on grass and over nervous delicate dog
Detracts light from indiscrepant non-dog-lover
Dog pet dog come home to ya
Come home we'll talk shit to ya
Dog the pet-owner-owner blistered hanging there death dog
Plato of the human example and copier dogmaster pet mourner
Dog is life

But now here in Willesden Green...yes, brrr...it's a bit chilly, but no matter, because here comes a gentleman and we're going to talk to him about shirts!

There is some singing in it so the bit that comes before it could be considered an intro.

Rab100 is absolutely correct with his OP, "Intro's" being a contraction of "Introductions". But is the word "Intro" suficiently well known for the unhyphenated plural form to also be considered correct?

To kick off the excellent 'Todd' double album. Rundgren that is.

"Sweetheart listen, I know the last few pages haven't been good for the both of us and I've caused you a lot of grief but put those bags down, OK? Before you make a decision like that, please listen to me 'cause I don't want you to leave. I definitely don't want you to leave. Just hear me out"

Eric Clapton on the into to "We're Only In It For The Money', followed by:-

"Hi, boys and girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black and I'm the Indian of the group."

Now the flames they followed Joan of Arc
As she came riding through the dark
No moon to keep her armour bright
No man to get her through, through this smoky night...

Various versions of this had great spoken intros.

"If anyone should die whilst in the shelter, leave their bodies outside. But remember to tag them first for identification purposes."

Anyone got a can of spraypaint handy for the tagging?

Late entry

"I'd like to adopt it as a fashion trend among the YOUNG people"

Is it Sarge? NO!
Is it Rosemary, the telephone operator? NO!
Is it Penry, the mild mannered janitor? Could be...

and of course, the cartoon featuring David Bowie's finest moment:

"Are You Ready Kids?"
"Aye Aye Captain"
"I can't hear you"
"AYE AYE CAPTAIN"
"ooooooooo....."

Most of the song is spoken - here is a flavour: -

There was a story in the San Francisco Chronicle that I forgot to save,
But it was about a lady who lived in the good ol' days
When a century was born and a century had died,
And about those good old days, well, the old lady replied:
"You know, there was just a lot of people who were doin' the best they could."
She said that the good old days were just a lot of people doin' the best they could.
And then the lady said that they did it, pretty up and walkin' good.
Whatever happened to those faces in the old photographs?
You've seen them, the little boys...boys, hell, they were men
Who stood knee deep in the Johnstown mud.
It was during the time of that terrible flood

Apparently producer Nick Venet told the musicians (Nashville 'A' Team, I suspect) a tale that the song was about Stewart's father who had just passed away (untrue) - so that they played up a storm on the track and brought it to a crescendo through the spoken parts. This may have been recounted in Omaha Rainbow or Zigzag, I forget which. (Incidentally what happened to Pete O'Brien - Omaha Rainbow Guru?)

Canyons of Your Mind.

Viv Stanshall "singing just for you, covered in sequins"

Good spoken intro: Good evening, I'm from Essex in case you couldn't tell. My give name is Dickie. I come from Billericay and I'm doing very well ...
Bad Spoken intro. (Well maybe not "bad" but certainly corny): The continent of Atlantis was an island which lay before the great flood in the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean. So great an area of land, that from her western shores those beautiful sailors journeyed etc etc.....

but, by Jingo, it's British Rubbish!"

Temperance Seven (I think)

"F*ck the serious stuff, let's get down to some 'eavy f*cking about, come 'ed" (Peter "Pedro" Gill)

Alpha beta, gamma hubba dubba ...yey

ok, im riding around in this car with a woman im close to a couple times a week. im noticing she's looking out th window and noticing other women. how thins on looks, isn't her hair lovely? what a nice outfit. i said "babe, what is th deal!? your noticing all these other chicks. maybe... your a lesbian" she looks at me and she says "i wish i was a lesbian" now at that point, i wanted to say "you mean you wish you were a lesbian" because grammatically... but i let it slide i didnt want to ruffle any feathers. but you know that sentence that retort "i wish i was a lesbian" kinda stuck in the old loudo's mind. kinda guestated there for 7 8 minutes. and this tune popped out.

It warrants quoting in full:

"Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time, for y'all have knocked her up.

I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe.

I was not offended.

For I knew I had to rise above it all....

... or drown in my own shit"

[this last word pronounced in the Clay Davis style]

Cue ten minutes of insanely slow space-rock guitar from Eddie Hazel. GENIUS.