Man 1: "I prefer fish sticks myself."

Man 2:"You like fish sticks? What are you, a gay fish?"

"Careful! You can't go home to the wife with your fingers smelling of fish"

"You skin it, I'll fillet."

I've no shame.

"Hey Bud, I thought Ethel Merman would have been a lot older"

...always wanted to meet the Fin Brothers."

I've just remembered where I left me bike!"

fins ain't what they used to be!"

execs still looking for long tail.

Back at the lab testing of the female condom prototype was not going well!

Or ...

Stirling Cooper's campaign for the latest in feminine hygiene products was never going to get past Advertising Standards.

the FA Cup draw receives mixed reception.

tonight's performance of 'Salmon-chanted Evening' lacked sole, while 'Cod Only Knows' had been a little flat in plaices.

...totally addicted to bass

....

"It's not quite what I mean when I ordered ginger snapper!"

..is strrraight back to Peterhead the neet!
We'll be gettin' a fair price for this at the market.

please stop staring at my gills.

and slowly ever so slowly, start to stroke and gentle mind don't rush. Then when you're sure you've got them nice and relaxed, a quick flick of the wrist and flip'em out of the water and on to the bank and whack! On the head with a stick...."

Excerpt from Unbroadcast episode Of "the Likely lads" Oct 1964. Title "thou shall have a fishy..." embargoed By BBC Board of Trustees.

It didn't look like this on the tin

...I've got a terrible migraine."

"No son, that's just a bad haddock..."

With apologies to the Viz book of something or other...

"When you said there was a Plaice in this film for me, i thought....."

" Are you sure it's called "Whiting for Godot ? "

"No,I called Heads"

... "I told you these weren't the scales she wanted!"

The old Stoop Solo track, from his album, 'How Could You...', comes to mind. 'She Was Only a Fishmonger's Daughter, But She Lay It On The Slab And Said Fillet'.

Cheers to Eric Idle and the rest of the Rutland Times editorial crew.

Although not everyone was convinced by their techniques for practising scales.

1940s equivalents of Ant and Dec help failed singing mermaid auditionee on original version of Britain's Got Talent out of her costume and tell her that if only she'd been a frumpy old spinster she would have fared so much better - 'they need a compelling narrative you see, so they can say you've been on a journey if you get to the final.'

Is that a flipper in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

"You skin it - I'll fillet"
"Okay, you fillet, then I'll flipper."

...she's got crabs on her plaice, poor sole.

...I bloody told you letting Richard Curtis rewrite Coming Up For Air would be a mistake..."

the business, the money...and now you want to put my sister in a fish suit...??

Girl-"Well if this doesn't get Jackson Browne to fancy me ,nothing will"

NB:A knowledge of JB's personal life might be needed

Simon Cowell's laboratory, the Susan Boyle make-over process was gathering pace

...I think I've found the sex pistols

abandon attempts for this week's Cod-cast.