"brave" because, as far as pop music's concerned, "brave" means "unlistenable"

A "cult" act can sometimes mean one that's only caught the attention of an enlightened and lucky few. But more often than not it's a synonym for useless.
And, it goes without saying, it is imperative that you don protective clothing, swiftly remove from the premises and thoroughly dispose of any track or album that is "one for the completist"

I'm always wary of a track that someone tells me is uncommercial. It can mean two things either a possible grower or more usually utter tuneless garbage.

Can we add "quirky" to the list especially when associated with "humour". It's code for not funny (unless you're a pissed student)
"on a jazz tip" usually sends a chill down my spine.
"Popular live attraction" ie rubbish on record.

Also being contary I usually take against a band if I hear a hollywood star is "big Fan" or the words "Geldof" and "Peaches" are mentioned in the article.

"Going in a new direction"...abandoning what made them so successful in the first place, ie. commercial suicide

...in the real world means 'it sounds a bit rubbish these days'.

Either 'out of tune' or 'first take, couldn't be arsed to either rehearse or do it again properly'

In a jazz context:

free = tuneless

harmolodic = tuneless

explorations = tuneless

avant-garde = tuneless

I believe this to be on the Word reviewers banned list [ from a dim & distant shed cast ] its never a good synomym for "sounds like" cos more often than not, they wont...oh and the suffix "ish"

Can there be a more career damaging tool in the reviewer's lexicon than the phrase: ‘Championed by Noel Gallagher.' Applied to illegal firearms, this tagline would ensure overnight that handguns lost their outlawish cool forever. If only DEMOS, or any of the other government think tanks, would reply to my many emails on this subject.

It doesn't have to be Noel Gallagher. It can be anyone who, upon reaching elder statesman of rock status, finds their drive and creativity sinking into a terminal rut, as their wealth and self-importance increases. What better way to recapture their lost youth than by offering a leg-up to some dreadful indy no-marks, who in a true meritocracy would play the biggest gig of their career in the back room of a pub in Salford.

Under-rated - means no-one likes them!!

Acquired taste - means you are not likely to enjoy them

Overblown - lengthy, tuneless solos

One for the diehards - Means you will only like it if you are the mother of the lead singer.

a new/interesting/fascinating take on - they forgot the chords of
audacious - laughably misguided
awash in - ruined by
blues-tinged - everything was in E
bold - see audacious
call and response - the keyboard player kept showing the guitarist what to play
committed to their craft (esp. "admirably") - huddled around the drum riser with their backs to the audience
coruscating - anything the writer wants it to mean, except what it really means: bright and glittering (Michael Stipe could equally have sung about "coruscating happy people"; in fact, it might have been a slightly better song if he had)
crystalline - "Weren't loud enough!"
dark and edgy - surly and miserable
defiant - trudged on regardless as the Stella cans rained down
eclectic - a covers band
established empathy with the audience immediately - ran on and said "Hello, Lee-sester!", to which the audience responded in unison: "Wanker!"
flowing - interminable
full-bodied - too bassy
funky - a bunch of white blokes with sequencers
fusion - neither one thing nor the other
immediate - under-rehearsed
inchoate - messy
influential (esp. "hugely") - dropped by their record label after two albums
intense - humourless
intimate - the bar staff outnumbered the audience 3-to-1
intricate - the band thought they were playing one song, the drummer another
loose (esp. "refreshingly") - out of tune and out of time
primal - crass
pulsating - chest-heavingly, lunch-losingly loud
raw - inept
redolent of (esp. "somehow") - shamelessly ripped off from
soulful - tuneless
soundscape (esp. "vibrant") - Goddod-awfulful acousticsics
sparkling - too trebly
tight (esp. "impressively") - ooh, look who got a drum machine for Christmas
uncompromising - unsignable
unhurriedly paced - inter-song tune-ups lasted twice as long as the songs themselves
warm and rich - muddy
wired - they hate each other

"naked and apologetic"
"grimacing passion"
"mix and match version of his old bandmates"
"jaw dropping concert"
"strange, typically enigmatic set"
"a few truly rare gems"

Can you tell who it is yet?

clever: sounds like XTC
jangly: they've heard the Byrds
post punk: can mean virtually anything
post/sub-rock: guitar based and sounds like a 45 playing at 16rpm
proto punk: short, fast, shoutey
techno flash: although I haven't seen this one since the 70s, it was usually included in a review of anything by the Mahavishnu Orchestra