Entertainment For Lively Minds
Songs of Exhortation
In this bossyboots world in which we live in, as it nearly says in "Live and Let Die", not only Big Gordon and his cohorts tell us what to do.
I have a violent allergy to dancing, and yet so many songs over the years have instructed me, often quite crossly, to "Get Down On It!" "Shake Your Booty", and even, and most peremptorily "Dance, Dance ,Dance, Dance!"
Shan't...my booty remains unshaken to this very day
Mr Bowie puts it more gently.."Let's Dance", he suggests.Well, let's not. And if he can't make me, no-one can.
This made me think about all those other songs instructing one to do, or not do, things..what if you lived your life by the careless urgings of popstrels, even for a while? All manner of potentially dangerous and illegal events might cause you to get into trouble. If you can sue McDonald's for recklessly encouraging you to eat lard, you could probably get Blue Oyster Cult bang to rights for directing you not to Fear the Reaper. Why, someone might decide to take Aha up on their heartfelt, if obscure, exhortation to "Take on Me"? Has anyone ever, actually DONE the Strand? Or Ridden a White Swan (that could really get you in a fix with her Majesty..), or "Opened Up Their Hearts? "
These songs range from the seemingly harmless "Let's Get It On", to the downright rude "Go Now".Perhaps a fading stand-up comedian would like to produce a pointless book, called something like "The Year of Stupidly Following Instructional Pop Songs", because it HAS to be a year, I believe, to make it a proper book. I don't think they would make it through the night, frankly. Not with "Let's Start a War", and "Kill Your Sons" around to provide a Darwin moment or two.But I bet you someone will have a go.
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Plans for the evening
Don't know what anyone else in the house's plans for the evening are, but I'm going to Wang Chung tonight.
Isn't that a euphemism. . .
for getting it on and banging a gong?
You mean
a la Scott Walker? -
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/how-can-039kids039-be-so-musically...
I Wang Chunged last night ....
..... so tonight I was just going to Use it up and Wear it out. Obviously I'll put some newspaper down first.
Pass the peas while shaking everything you've got . . .
and half of them end up rolling under the settee.
I'm sorry, your honour...
But it was Sir Paul McCartney who urged me and the Mrs to 'Do it in the road'...
Let me give the world to you
Van Morrison - Shake It Mable: In which Mable discusses her plans to ‘shake it' on the funky Broadway. No, you may not come with her.
Sufjan Stevens - Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing: Fawning entreaty to God. References to "flaming tongues" and the "mount of Thy redeeming love" speak of repressed sexuality, as is generally the case in religious music. The song was published in 1758 by Robert Robinson.
Robbie Robertson - Go Back To Your Woods: A warning shot across the bows. Part of Robertson's Storyville concept album.
Sham69 - Tell Us The Truth: Punk philosopher, Jimmy Pursey, hypothesises that "If only we could get together then I know we'd live forever" and warns you not to let him or his band down.
Midnight Oil - Tell Me The Truth: Peter Garrett - now better known as Australia's Environment Minister - wants to know the truth about you.
U2 - Stay (faraway, so close!): Bono invites you to adopt a superposition.
Dave Graney ‘N' The Coral Snakes - You Need To Suffer: Dave Graney once played himself in the Australian soap - Neighbours.
She - Don't Go Home Tonight / Don't Leave Me Baby: Suggestive garage rock from 1960s girl group. Why weren't this band huge?
Dizzy
Sit Down - James
Stand - REM
Turn turn turn - Byrds
extra bonus track
Flamin' Groovies - Shake Some Action
Not tonight
No Marti Webb, I don't want to hear from you till the weekend, you can Tell Me On A Sunday.
Fifty Fathoms
'Glub,glub,blug...' (suddenly surfacing from beneath the icy waters of the bathtub)'er...sorry, I was just doing as one Mr David Toop once told me to when he commanded 'Do The Bathosphere'!
The only tune connected with table manners
"Pass the peas" by the JBs.
Well, there is one about a delicious dessert
"My Sweet! Lord!"
(We already did the peas the other day, by the way. Do try to keep up.)
I've got a media empire to run
Can't be everywhere.
Let me know when there's a category for my all-time favourite song title, "Let A Man Come In And Do The Popcorn".
See Subsection1(a)
I think we have to start an advisory sub-section for that.And perhaps also "Songs of Mild Incredulity", as in "Is She Really Going Out With Him", and "Is There Something I Should Know?
Oh, I like this one!
"Is that all there is?"
Litmus Test
The "Mildly Curious But Lacking In Real Urgency" category is defined by whether or not "Oh, by the way.." can be used as a convincing prefix, as in the case of .."What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?"
"Where Do The Children Play?"
In my experience you can usually hear them.
2,4,6,8 Motorway..
or is that just wishful thinking?
Look Up (To see what's coming down)
Salad - Drink the Elixir: There must be other songs that end with a power chord. At the moment I can't think of any.
Baader Meinhof - Meet Me at the Airport / Kill Ramirez: Taken from a typically perverse Luke Haines side project: Ten songs about the Red Army Faction - a West German urban guerrilla group responsible for a string of murders, kidnaps and a plane hijacking. The lyrics of Meet Me At The Airport ("Do it for God, Do it for Allah") have taken on an even more disturbing resonance in the wake of 9/11.
Cousteau - Jump in the Water: A fitting title from a band named after the famous underwater explorer.
Steely Dan - Throw Back The Little Ones: Despite its title this is not one of the numerous Becker and Fagen songs that dwell on the subject of older men dating much younger women.
Mable John
"Don't Hit Me No More".
Unambiguous. To the point.
To be played immediately after. . .
"Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick".
Specifications
As is "Give Me (Your Dirty) Love". You know where you are, don't you, and exactly what is expected?
The Doors - short story
Touch Me
Light My Fire
Love Me Two Times
(The End)
No woman no cry
Might seem to be a philosophical reflection on the pain free existance which comes with the unattached bloke lifestyle, but a closer listen reveals that Bob is actually telling the "woman" not to cry because life used to be much worse and things are now looking up. Sort of crap yesterday/jam tomorrow 'ting.
Several Shades of Ambiguity
Now we seem to have moved into an entertaining sideline about songs that don't do what they say on the tin, no?