Take a load of utility bills and credit card statements with you and spend the evening chucking them onto the fire - 'Bernadette'

Wrap a small piece of gold foil around your index finger - 'Goldfingerrrr'

covered in a large green outer covering and say its "Michelle".
( runs for nearest exit )

As the party is on a Saturday you could get a t shirt that says "Friday On My Mind" and go as "Yesterday".

aren't fancy dress parties only held by people who don't actually like their friends. A friend even got an invite for a wedding recently that was fancy dress WTF.
If you feel you have to go didn't the Dead kennedys have a song about the outcome of indulging too much and it's effects on returning home. That or John Wayne is big leggy!

It's like Stimpys goldfinger, but with sandpaper. O, and not a finger.

...with twenty pounds of headlines stapled to your chest, but failing that you could always just go in a long black coat?

And go as 'A Whiter Shade of Pail'.

(My dad did this to a similarly themed party in his expensive-costume-avoiding yoof).

I think it could be improved by taking a cream-cloured bucket with you as well, just to highlight which one is 'whiter'.

Wear a hat with the word "Always" pinned to it (Always On My Mind)

Wear one glove (Hand In Glove)

Bring a box of matches (Firestarter)

Wear Baggy Trousers

There must be umpteen possibilities with the socks / sex pun?

you spend the entire evening in the kitchen.

Why make the effort of assembling a costume when you can pinch the best bits of other people's fancy dress. In particular pay close attention to anyone who has come as a Beatles song. As the evening wears on you should aim to become increasingly boorish. Be sure to announce that you have "The best f**kin' costume at the party."

When someone asks you what song you have come as, simply reel-off the title of a random Oasis track.

If this feels like it will be too much effort, you could always take the easy way out and just Come As You Are.

Take a brush and a tin of black paint? If the hosts have a red door you could maybe offer to paint it for them.

Alternatively, go round to the rear of the house and enter via the back door. This is another facetious suggestion that is probably not allowed.

has the solution to your problem. Go back to 1991's second best album, Nevermind, where the third track and second single is the song Come As You Are.

Blue Jean
Favourite Shirt
Red Shoes

Go dressed as Albert Einstein, frizzy hair, white lab coat, specs and if anyone asks you..you say, " You can Call Me Al..

Ripped jeans
Grubby T-shirt
and a few well placed sticking plasters

Done

Mr. Tambourine Man?

River Deep, Mountain High.

laser-etch a picture of a baby onto your retinas (retinae?) and go as 'The Man With The Child In His Eyes'

Just stay in the kitchen.

...for 'Come on Eileen' but you probably don't want to hear it.

arm yourself with a swiss roll, give it a pat now and again - Beaver Patrol by Pop Will Eat Itself

Standard fireman's outfit? ('Fire Brigade', The Move)

Stick-on moustache and Adidas trainers? ('Mercury', Bloc Party)

I'd love to think of a way for you to do 'Dancing Queen', but cannot.

How about wearing a lampshade on your head and going as "Living on The Ceiling".

so what about:

These boots are made for walking
Handbags and gladrags
Sunglasses at night
You can leave your hat on
Pink glove
Brass in pocket

Or go for full drag and do 'Man I feel like a woman'.

you could paint your John Thomas with the norwegian flag and be Norwegian Wood.

you could wear Joy Division Oven Gloves.

You could lose a dangerous amount of weight and go as "4st 7lb"
Go as an obscure entertainer from the past, and if anyone asks who you are, say "your mother should know"

and be Tangled Up In Blue

you could put on some class of beak on your face, and sport some blue feathers

"I'm a road runner"

alternatively, dress up like, I dunno, Jeffrey Dahmner and be a Psycho Killer

and you can be The Who's classic I Can See For Miles.

When asked what the song is (after all, I'm sure there'll be a few non-Word readers there), just shrug, look puzzled... and say the title.

song reference is, I hope, obvious.

Get some pink paint and... well, you can guess the rest.

As backwards beat me to the Come as you are idea, I offer They Might Be Giants' Whistling in the dark as a different choice in the same wain, the refrain goes:

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you,
Be what you're like,
Be like yourself,

or something similarly tasteless and out of date, on a t-shirt:

"I always knew jade goody was a racist but I think becoming a skinhead was a step too far."

and you'll probably have everyone at the party say the title for you...

..."That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore!"

[Apologies to any sensitive types. The joke is here for demonstration purposes only]

a 20 minute drum solo, and hey presto - you're Moby Dick!

Wear Black - Man in Black
Wear White - Man in White

White face, black shirt
White socks, black shoes
Black hair, white Strat
(bled white, died black, Sweet Gene Vincent)

to turn up naked...hey presto, we have "The Ace Of Spades"!

Turn up a a dead Elvis, (you know, skeleton mask, Elvis wig, smelly torn rhinestone clothes...."All The way From Memphis".
OR
Dress as a baby (nappy,bottle,afterbirth etc) and a pair of running shoes with a number pinned to your cheast..."Born To Run".
Cover yourself in excrement hey, an instant "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Ok, I'm going now, to find a life.

... Like a Rolling Stone!

= Free Nelson Mandela

as erm "all tomorrow's parties...." am too late or too early with this one?

Unfortunately the inspiration didnt flow. But i did find a crocodile hat and had a rock in my pocket (or was I just pleased to see....?) - Crocodile Rock. Hmmm. Not great I admit.

Best two were the Joneses who cam dressed identically in Jeans, T-Shirts & Jackets. On his t-shirt it said "me" and her t-shirt "mrs jones" - Me & Mrs Jones!! Simple but worked.

Other one was a bloke who had loads of big bras coming out of each of his pockets - Bras(s) in Pockets. Ho Ho

thanks again!