Entertainment For Lively Minds
So now we have been going about three years on here and created a sub culture of sorts........
......who out of the contributors are:
1. The "hit seekers" - they ask open questions looking for maximum response and feel that anything less than 20 comments is a miss.
2. The "cult" contributors - Not all readers get them and their responses may be low but they don't care and have a loyal following with some quality postings that not everyone understands.
3. The "sycophants" - They always respond to David Hepworth's posts.
4. The "normals" - they post every now and again and feel thrilled if they connect with anyone at all but feel good about getting something off their chest and mostly just read the blog every day in the moments at work when they wonder what the flop they are doing sitting at their desk whilst life is passing by. But they're good people.
5. The "Breaking Newsers" - "AN Other" musician has died RIP (I'm the first to break it).
6. The "cynics" - This is all rubbish but I can't resist it.
7. The "self deprecators" - Put themselves down so they think that they may get people onside and feel loved.
Peace & love.
- More from marsonator.
- Login or register to post comments
-
You Missed Out 8.
the Suicide Bombers. Those who post content likely to aggravate 80% of the blog - current leader 'You'
[smiley emoticon]
Well.....
that's rock n' roll grandad.
Love you.
You missed
"the sad bastards" who have the blog open while they are working and post rubbish
anyway, back to work.....
You forgot "The Desperados"
... who crave affirmation and up arrows.
*makes puppy dog eyes to all and sundry*
I don't think
there's been any serious up arrow bombing yet. Perhaps now...
I wasn't even aware of the
I wasn't even aware of the up button until a couple of weeks ago.
The self-pleasurers –
those who keep their own threads afloat by responding to every comment on their blog
Bring out your dead!
Also, Plague Carriers: those of us who wander the Word blog, drifting like wraiths into healthy discussions and killing them stone dead with a faux witty comment.
Bet you're keeping your fingers crossed then!
I have the same knack but its usual accidental rudeness not faux witticisms(looks round nervously...)
Oh aye
Boy, was I ever relieved when Badger King posted below me.
Mutation
Do Plague Carriers include boring bastards who manage to shut down a thread even without the aid of a witty comment? Which see my own contribution to the genre by putting an end to discussion about Lord Prescott with a wiki quotation about reorganisation of the railways in 1921. Beat that if you dare.
When I close down a thread stone dead..
.. I try and console myself with the thought of people sitting there nodding and musing 'wise words indeed' - perhaps they start to type in a reply then hesitate and think - 'but what could I add?'
On the whole not very likely. I think more likely - I have tried to surf the zeitgeist and ended up in the outfall
Alternately
the more likely scenario is the final post on a very lengthy, and occasionally quite profound,thread on The World at War which came to a sudden and untimely end when someone posted a YouTube video of Culture Club's "War Song" (War is stupid and people are stupid etc.)
Tumbleweed drifted, wind howled, a thread died.
Well that one at least wasn't me
Probably a joke along the lines of the unprovoked cute animals that crop up in long threads but still - ouch
ThreadEnders
I've done so many of these I'm thinking of changing my name to Captain Tumbleweed. With an icon of a fat lady clearing her throat.
(nervously awaits reply)
Well, now I have a dilemma... do up arrow or not?
If I up arrow, will you take it as an affirmation of your general splendidness and wittiness?
Or will an up arrow appear to indicate that I'm supporting the notion of Captain Tumbleweed?
(I mean the former, by the way)
I'd like to think I'm a 3
But I know I'm nearer a 7...
The "Breaking Newsers"
should be 'The Grim Reapers' or 'The Ambulance Chasers'
Guiltily admits t being
Guiltily admits t being pathological no.7. What can I say? I've had therapy and everything...
Duplicate post
D'oh
Pattern seekers?
Those that seek, nay, crave some explanation for something by way of a formula or overriding insight that might just hold water. Malcolm Gladwell and Sigmund Freud spring to mind, but they haven't posted on here for a number of weeks.
I'd plead guilty to that
my (sycophantic) defence is partly that DH is clearly a fellow pattern seeker, but much more sceptical of his own tendency than I am. But, like many modern entrepreneurs, he's clearly realised that i) pattern spotting is a USP, and ii) no-one is going to tell him anything useful for free (though crowds can, of course, be sourced).
[Aside: Physicists are, of course, trained to be arrogant pattern seekers (;-)), and it is currently an interesting and lively question as to where the limits of the physicist's approach, as opposed to say the chemist's, biologist's, ecologist's, economist's etc etc, really are].
And so I have a love-hate relationship with that Uber pattern-seeker, Adam Curtis, a man brilliant at dissing others for doing it, even as he builds ever more baroque ones of his own:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/adamcurtis/2010/02/the_economists_new_clothes...
All of them
I am
not a number.
Done most of them plus
The Drakers - Those that put a name such as Drake, Thompson or Martyn in the title to get a guaranteed response of about 30 replies.
The Buggers - Those that insist on embedding video links to all replies just to make it hard for those trying to make the blog look like work whilst reading in an open office.
Never once seen a thread about Charlie Drake
maybe I don't spend as much time here as I thought
Sorry, but I had to check!
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/charlie-drake-wizard-progressive-r...
Nice to see my Great Uncle Charlie getting a mention
Now how about my prestigious ancestor Sir Francis?
But don't mention Auntie Vera. We don't talk about her after that nasty scandal.
blimey - I stand corrected
- I must pay more attention
The Suicidals.....
...."Kevin Rowland", "Soundgarden reunion gigs", "Babyshambles to play debut album in entirety", "Gene boxset £5:99 on Amazon".... all guaranteed to result in a kamikaze-like end to your thread....
I've only tried one of the above but give the others a go if you dare...
I like Gene
does that mean I go to Jail and not pass GO?
The Random Tangentialists
Who try and start a conversation about something completely unrelated in the middle of a thread.
I LOVE Gene. And I was only yesterday thinking I should start a thread praising them to the heavens. Their 'best of' is, quite simply, one of my favourite albums.
Any takers? No? My Plague Carrier status continues unblemished (apart from the bubonic sores etc).
A fan? I don't know how to break this but....
...the thing about the box set was made up..
Hey now...
Thread ender and ambulance chaser (Clement Freud and Oliver Postgate as I recall). I only belong to category 3 if Backwards7 posts.
I hope I'm a 4
hence my Prescott post yesterday. And thanks Warwick!!
Pretty sure i'm a normal......
.....and happy to continue being so.
Then there's the smug plagiarists...
using other peoples' work in an ill-fitting quasi-humorous fashion to make up for their own sad inadequacies.
I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
The Listers.
1)People who start Lists.
2)People who respond to Lists.
3)People who collate Lists to extrapolate pointless conclusions. :)
Care to..
Give us the top 5 examples of this?
Analysis
I copied this list into an Excel spreadsheet and, after I'd tidied up the formatting a bit, applied some formulae to analyse what this list tells the Massive about itself.
Turns out we like lists.
Can I get that conclusion
in a Venn diagram to go please? Hold the vulgar fractions.
me
1. Me
2. Me
3. Me
4. Me
5. Me
6. Me
7. Me
what about:
8. Gits that don't respond to important things I POST.
9. Egotistical self absorbed people who turn every post into something about themselves.
I am normal
I think I'm closest to "Normal" but I've long accepted that close to normal is the best that I'm going to get. It is normal to post here isn't it?
We are all normal
and we want our freedom
I am normal
and I dig Bert Weedon
Also...
...bad puns. Dangerously addictive and can send threads haywire. This has happened on several occasions and I remember one poster writing that he had to stop as he wife was looking at him in a suspicious manner as he kept going in and out of the computer room and emerging with a smirk on his face.
yeah
My wife also suspected I was doing puns in there. I had to tell her I was wanking a lot
Sherry down nose.
Good work, Captain.
That reminds me
must clear history
Normal? Me?
Well, yes. Very astute marsonater. I used to think I just didn't matter so being normal is definitely an upgrade.
I'd like to be a 2 ... or
maybe even a 6, but I know I'm only a 4. Or does that make me a 7?
Normal...
... But i've done them all at various times. It's particularly hard to resist the urge to reply to your own comments occasionally. "If only I hadn't posted that at three in the morning, I'd be in that hot topics list for weeks" and the like.
Thread Seekers
Hope I'm a four on a normal day, but I guess I'm a little bit of all of them.
Don't know what I am.
Sort of a 3 but not entirely. I normally respond to Mr H's posts by having a gentle dig.
I'm 1, 6 and 7
What do you think?
Not that I care - everything is shite, eh?
Silly, daft, fat, old me.
Beezer, in the spirit of No. 7
I'm on your side and I love you.
In Berkshire this evening
a daft fat bloke exploded with delight.
Reciprocated!
You forgot the "Dammits!"
People who would like to join in but have never heard Mott The Hoople's bootleg from the 1973 Leicester Poly gig and so are instantly precluded from the discussion.
Number 13
The sad and lonely who post far too often in a desperate attempt to get some much missed social interaction. Poor sods whoever they are, hello, anyone there? No, oh hum.
Yes,
poor sods
I quite agree,
poor devils
I fully concur
bless 'em.
Can I claim
Number 69 when we get to it? A bit of a tongue-in-cheek posting.
Might not be tongue in cheek
Depends on who's being the other 34.5
What about...
Sad insomniacs who find themselves in the Word blog perineum time frame? That is, the time between UK posters going to bed and the Aussies and Yanks joining in.
That's me.
Although who is the 'wizard's sleeve' and who is the 'rusty sherrif's badge' between said perineum is still up for grabs.
and a sub category
Sleep-deprived Parents
I'm typing this while the little girls watch "Fifi and the F***ing Flower Tots" (may not be entirely accurate programme title), at Stupid o'Clock on a Saturday morning.
*yawns*
Stupid o'clock TV here too.
Hark! I hear the inevitable sounds of 300 Sky+ episodes of Charlie and Lola being played downstairs while my long-suffering GLW mainlines tea and Weetabix in an effort to stay conscious. While I post on this blog on my phone while supposedly having a shower. Oops.
I'm in Oz and I woke up in the middle of the night.....
...worrying that I would probably be in a new group by the time I woke up this morning.....Number 10. "The Pariahs" (I am already in number 9. The suicide bombers.....). I love this community.
The posters who arrive late in the day and.....
decide to post on a two day old thread that has already been relegated from the front page and is basically dead.
They will post something rather pointless that nobody will read anyway.
We part company on that one
This is not a popularity contest (thank Christ). Sometimes a subject will plant it's slow-releasing bomb in your brain and then days, weeks later even, you may have something to say about it. The subject's recency or profile on the front page isn't a factor, personally.
I was trying to be amusing by doing what I was sayin
in my post.
No comment on popularity or your other points intended.
Oh well.
I am so sorry
I am the Major Misunderstanding character in Viz, who misses the point regularly. I am so sorry for being uppity. What a goon.
Yep
I'm with you on that one. Pointless posts are a cancer. ...hello? Anyone there?
Meta-bloggers.
Blogging about blogging.
Blogging about blogging about blogging.
4
but fear I may be a Plague Carrier.
(It is a dis-heartening feeling when you open the thread to see any new comments and yours is STILL the last on the page)
Conversely, its a good feeling when you actually get a reply to anything you've posted
I Like Armadillos
They are soft in the inside, and crunchy on the outside.
I Like Armadillos
They are soft in the inside, and crunchy on the outside.
I Like Armadillos
They are soft in the inside, and crunchy on the outside.
I Like
3 armadillos.
I Like
3 armadillos.
...
or is it 6?
No mention of the *imbibers*
who get carried away after too much red wine and wake up the next morning with *the fear* that what had seemed fascinating the night before might now appear banal. Not that i know anyone like this...ahem.
Seemed like a good idea
Good job I kept the idea I had about footballs making random animal sounds over the p.a. when kicked and thus making last nights final funny, to myself and not post it.
Now
that is funny!
Friday night specials
all that broken glass on the saturday morning to clear up.
The Apprehensive Nervies?
I have a greater nervousness about launching a new thread on here than I do about most other things in my life.
Imagine if it gets no interest whatsoever and hangs around on the first page reminding me what a boring fecker I am...
Dear KB
Remember - you are among friends.
Group hug!
We Are Normal
I'm a 4, I think. Although I've brought my share of threads to a wheezy halt, I check in daily, chuck in the odd comment, and just indulge in the Massive's collective ebb and flow/cut and thrust/wow and flutter/sturm und drang. Top stuff.
We Are Normal
and we dig Bert Weedon.
"And, uh, here come some normals.
They look like normal... Hawaiians.
Well, uh, you didn't mention what month.
You think you're normal?
Yes, quite normal.
OK, here comes one.
Go inside! (tee hee hee)
Well it's, ah, it's not for me to determine really, is it? I mean
it's for a psychiatrist to determine these things, isn't it?
I like their food, and dey arr veddy nice people.
Ooh, its alright, innit?
That a face?
Smart. It's your backside.
Oh, they're just typically normal.
No! This is not manly!
Well, it is unusual.
Well, it's like a rabbit! He's got a head on him like a rabbit!
I don't know, it's just not like normal people do.
You're not runnin' around in your underpants are you?"
Now THAT'S a lyric.
I'd like to be a 4
but I have a secret confession. Sometimes there is a glitch in the Word matrix and that allows the poster to give themselves an up arrow. I usually up myself. Am I the only one?
Yes me.
See above.
I'm a 4...
...with definite thread killing tendencies. (Just watch!)
Meanwhile, in a far distant corner of cyberspace, another on-line community in which I participate is entering the early stages of meltdown, as cliques and factions vie with each other to be the most childish, vindictive and vituperative. The poor site owner is losing both hair and sleep over this lunacy.
I do so love to return here where civility, gentility and adultness reign supreme. Massive, I salute you!
In the name of civility
I will make sure you won't be the last post on this thread...
( I've just had a drink, so I'm feeling full of good will towards humanity! )
Thank you, kind sir...
...damn, now look what I've done!
You've only gone and offended a woman,
that's what you've done...sir! :)
Oops...
...those tendencies are definitely getting more complex. Time for one of those drinky things, you mentioned. That may help.
Predictables and Reasonables
Predictables - Pavlovian inability to ignore a gambit e.g. "prog is great" inevitably leads to "this is what we fought the punk wars for". "I love the Velvets" inevitably leads to "they are shit" (which is obviously the case, but we move on to...)
Reasonables - perfectly good rant about something, stifled with "ahhhh, but that is the way of modern pop music y'know" or "it's all pop music anyway, even a bloke singing on a chain gang only did it to be popular" etc. A dry version of the Plague Carrier I suppose.
If each of those were a band/artist:
1. The "hit seekers" - they ask open questions looking for maximum response and feel that anything less than 20 comments is a miss. Lady Gaga
2. The "cult" contributors - Not all readers get them and their responses may be low but they don't care and have a loyal following with some quality postings that not everyone understands. The Fall
3. The "sycophants" - They always respond to David Hepworth's posts.The Love Trousers
4. The "normals" - they post every now and again and feel thrilled if they connect with anyone at all but feel good about getting something off their chest and mostly just read the blog every day in the moments at work when they wonder what the flop they are doing sitting at their desk whilst life is passing by. But they're good people.Half Man Half Biscuit
5. The "Breaking Newsers" - "AN Other" musician has died RIP (I'm the first to break it).Mitch Benn
6. The "cynics" - This is all rubbish but I can't resist it.Morrissey
7. The "self deprecators" - Put themselves down so they think that they may get people onside and feel loved.Elbow
Some of those weren't quite right, but they were the best I could think of.
I guess that makes me
Half Woman Half Crumpet...no ?
Brilliant, just brilliant
Up-arrowed, young lady!
all of god's children
gotta have their freedom
free-dom...
..
I think I may be a number two
And not as in I´m shit. But "Not all readers get them and their responses may be low". I usually don´t get my responses myself and it would be presumptuous to assume anyone else to.
Although I´m not sure if there is anything less cult than proclaiming yourself to be cult. Possibly with the only exception of questioning the fact that there´s nothing less cult than proclaiming yourself to be cult.
This was the part where I lost myself. Proven right, then. You ARE cult, Mr Claesson.