Entertainment For Lively Minds
Shops we would like to open
Posted by Brookster on 26 January 2011 - 12:13pm.
I've always fancied opening a floor coverings shop over here in Munich. The name of said emporium? Carpet München.
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Curry House
Called "Ring of Fire".
Only plays one song gently in the background.
My local
In my favourite local curry house the hand driers in the gents are made by a company called Redring.
In our Krakow hotel ...
... Schindlers Lift
Just noticed the posts below
Hotel lifts by Schindler are not uncommon.
Also in
Chartered Accountants Hall, just off Moorgate in the City of London
Record shop with a deli attached
Rock and Roll.
For those who remember 'Open All Hours'
and Arkwright's hapless assistant, there is a shop in Wymeswold (I think) called G G Granville's
Or there could be a shoip selling sporting memorabilia from Belfast's favourite football son, plus German foodstuffs, called 'Best and Wurst'
Dairy emporium in the Middle East
Cheeses of Nazareth.
eyethangyew
(Stolen from somewhere but can't remember where)
Knockin in Shropshire has a shop
Guess it's name?
And right next door
is Salop(y) Seconds
sells old coats - just off to get one
Clothing store for Hassidic Jews
"I can't believe it's not Schmutter"
A hotel and pub in Glasgow...
... called Moan Inn
there's a
Loch Inn pub in Edinburgh. Never been in: looks scary!
There's a carpet / vinyl flooring shop
in my hometown called Lino Richie
If your hometown was Clondalkin
there was a Kebabylon next door, to say nothing of the Balbriggan video rental gaff called Planet of the Tapes. And yes, I know I´ve posted these before...
It may be apocryphal
but I've heard of the Jewish butcher called Halal, Is It Meat You're Looking For?
er, pedantic
but v unlikely a Jewish butcher would have "Halal" in its name. indeed, it may well cause an incident.
With heavy emphasis on
the "ish" would that work?
There was a kebab wagon in Durham...
...years ago called Jason's Doner Van.
I've also seen one
(with the appropriate logo and 'probably the best chips in the world' advertising board)
Carl'sburgers
Elevator Repair Service
" Schindler´s Lift "
Don't Schindlers
Actually make lifts?
http://www.schindlerlifts.co.uk/
Isn't there a shop somehwere called the "Merchant of Tennis"?
Disppointingly
Otis [lifts] do not appear to have an office in Reading, as the urban myth goes.
Shame
Otis regrets..
And continuing the David Jason theme..
See earlier comment, there was a roadside sandwich van called:
'Only Foods and Hors D'Oeuvres' which I though a bit contrived.
A takeway sandwich shop
Prawn To Run.
No pun
but I was always amused by a hairdressers in Bermondsey called Spend Loads Please.
Strange
My local bordello uses it as their slogan.
It seems to be hairdressers
that have jokey names. Just round the corner is 'Get Ahead' and I have seen Hair Port (in Hannover, Brookster), also 'Curl Up and Dye'.
Another hairdresser
Beau Locks. Can't remember where though (presumably down South)
Hairdressers
Somewhere between Stoke Newington and Hoxton called 'It Will Grow Back'.
I can't remember where it was
but I saw a hairdressers called Belle Hair.
I used to work at a salon
called "Fringe Benefits" over the road was "Cutting Remark".
Hairdressers do seem to have a pun-fetish. I saw one recently, too, called Scissor Sisters. I did wonder if they knew where the band got the name from.
Hairdressers near me
called "Hair-o-Dyenamix"
?
Please explain
*whispers*
*it means lesbians...*
Reminds me of getting my hair cut one time
where the lady chopping - in a break with "been on holidays yet" tradition - spent the whole time telling me about her other job working in a gay bar.
It must be a while ago because the "scissor sister" thing never crossed my mind...
A gent's barbers
just round the corner from New Scotland Yard was (five years ago, at any rate) called Clipper Of The Yard
There really is a snack van...
...in the car park at Hound Tor in Dartmoor called "Hound of the Basket Meals".
Not mine
http://www.hairwaytoheavenllc.webs.com/
Common name for a hairdressers apparently...
SoFa So Good
They sell couches
A real shoe shop in Brighton...
Our Soles
There's an R. Soles
on Camden High Street (or at least there used to be).
Also in Brighton...
An walk-in ironing service called....Creased Lightning.
Went passed it at lunch time.
I saw a pizza shop in the Yorkshire Dales called
All Pizzas Great and Small
There's a place in Pompey called The Hard.
I'd like to open a newsagents there. Martin's. On The Hard.
Or a bike shop...
"The Hard Ride"
A bike shop for gays
Bike Curious.
the best chippie in London
'Rock and Sole Plaice'
one in Sheffield called .....
.... Codrephenia
In Belfast
In Cod We Trust.
In Cod We Trust
Also used to be in Grimethorpe (of the famous colliery band) in Barnsley. Featured in "Brassed Off".
Codroephenia......
I have t-shirt with that one. Made by Weird Fish.
Has a Cod riding a Lambretta with the target background.
Didn't there used to be Chinese takeaway
called Ho Lee Fook?
I saw...
...a werewolf with one of their menus in his hand once.
What was ....
....His hair like ?
(I bet I have got the lyric fucked up havent i?)
His hair was perfect.
Arooooooooooooooh!!!! Werewolves of London (fur coats a speciality).
Lee Ho Fook
It's in Soho
Sik Teh Fok
was one in Edinburgh.
Near Leigh (just north of the East Lancs Road)
Fu Kwai.
As in "I'm going for a Chinese tonight."
"Fu Kwai?"
"Cos I fancy one, Ok?"
Sandwich shop in Stafford
Sandwich shop in Stafford circa 1999: Roland Butter.
A toilet emporium called...
Bog Standard.
A kids' clothes shop still in Glasgow (I think)
(and you may need a Scottish accent to pronounce the name properly)
"Weans' World"
Since I like Tennis, Soul, Reggae, White Button Down Shirts
and Sebago Loafers I would like to open a shop called "The Shop That Sell Tennis Equipment, Soul and Reggae Music, White Button Downs and Nice American Loafers And Other Stuff Like That"
Pretty catchy I think.
Probably catchier than mine.
"Power Pop, Beck's, Books and Wank Mags"
Too bad
I prefer Peroni but otherwise definitely worth a visit
That could give the rather fine
Power Pop, Peroni, Print 'n' P**n.
(I'm only putting the stars in cos I'm still at work).
A fantasy/science fiction bookshop in Los Angeles:
Force of Hobbit.
Edinburgh florist
Bloemen Ecke
It's on a corner. I'm going to guess that the owner is German.
Plumbers merchant, Sunbury on Thames
Edison and Crapper
My parents recently bought a new suite from....
Sofa king, genuine shop in Northampton.
Puppy and gardening emporium...
Bitches & Hoes
(sorry)
The new Keys & Gray shop
Do Me A Favour Love
One from Dave Spikey, as told at show in Bury tonight
Hairdressers in Burnley (so say it in the accent, dropping the aitch), Val Does Hair.
Hairdresser
Hank Wangford found this real one somewhere. I notice they don't seem to be in business anymore...
From the inside of "Hard Shoulder To Cry On" by Hank Wangford & the Lost Cowboys (Sincere Sounds HANKCD001)
Builder's Van
I used to quite regularly see a small green builder's van in Abbot's Langley, Hertfordshire, with "Thunderbuild 2" in large red block capitals on it's side, just like the title lettering from a certain vintage TV series.
My old friend Rick, a plasterer, threatened to start a business of his own called:
"Plastermind - I've started, so I'll pink finish it."
Slightly off topic, but...
I think the steel magnate and multi-billionaire Lakshmi Mittal missed a trick when naming his company Mittal Steel. Wouldn't it have sounded better if he'd called it Mittal Metal?!
There is a chippy near me.....
Called "In Cod we trust"
And on a similar note...
...Gay plumbers from Brighton...U-Benders.
a second hand record shop called....
The Vinyl Resting Place....I saw a photo of it once I remember
Or (from Bill Bailey)
The Vinyl Solution
A Sense of Hummus
..always wanted open a hummus cafe !
Falafel
There used to be a falafel and hummus based eatery in Soho called "Just Falafs".
Brilliant. Not there now.
A teutonically themed hairdressers called
There's a domestic appliance shop in Cardiff
called 'Sell Fridges'
Mae 'na siop offer domestig yn Caerdydd a elwir Gwerthu Oergelloedd
(All posts relating to Wales have to be bilingual or I'll have the Tafia on my case)
A Gormanian thread this
Lots of these - and many other top retail groaners - are currently being rounded up by Dave Gorman on his radio show.
Here: http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/djs_shows/shows/dave_gorman/features/pun_...
I'll apologise if I've let the cat out of some secretive bag.