Mr Jones who was referred to as Bender Jones. He was a games teacher. And Mr Bullard who taught metalwork and he was called Beer on account of his ample belly.

Mr Hawes didn't have a nickname. He was aptly named.

My O level Geography teacher was known to all as Piggy Joy.

Why, you ask ... because he had twice as much BO as anyone else.

Sweat stains to his waist and straggly beard. That the one?

Our staff room was jam-packed with teachers with PhDs. Teeming with them, it was. There must have been at least... er, one of them. (The gasps when the governors hired him were as loud as when Real Madrid nabbed Zidane.)

The gent in question happened to be from Edinburgh. Cue the inevitable: "Doc Jock".

...our geography teacher, who was considerably overweight and whose first name was Patricia, was concisely nicknamed "Fat Pat". It was only after I left school that I realised she was a lovely woman and our hilarious nickname probably hurt her a great deal.

...used to have a teacher called Mr. Wolf. If you asked him the time, even genuinely, you would probably get sent out.

… name of Mr Harlow. He'd been there a fair while and at some point the perceived resemblance of his hair to a certain piece of sanitary equipment had earned him the nickname 'Bogbrush'. By the time I started there, this had been shortened to merely 'Og', having apparently undergone a transitional 'Ogru' stage for some years (sometimes still employed during my tenure).
A lovely chap, by the way. He once remarked on my school report that my 'occasional appearance on the sports field was more down to my willing nature than any actual interest in or desire to play sport' (or words to that effect)…

Brute, Goofy, Poofy Sam and Bone. (No, I never understood the derivation of the last, his name being Young.)

Commonly known as Spiny Norman*.

No idea why at all. He just was.

(*Monty Python Sketch, for the youngsters).

Richard Dick was Dick Squared.
A baker in a shop I worked in was a slight, wan fellow, 6 stone soaking wet, sandy/fair balding pate, permanantly covered in flour, was known to all and sundry as "The Dark Destroyer".
Jimmy Calderwood, ex Dunfermline Manager is known to all in that town as "The Fat Orange Tangoman Judas Bastard". (They don't like him, you see).
Finally, (sexist joke alert) a rather tall (almost 6foot) skinny skinny BUT with genormous boozoms was called "Tits On A Stick"

...for a bald teacher.

Mr Lubbock (Games): Micky Bollocks

Mr Dumbrill (Geography): Humpty

Rev Woodhouse (School chaplain, RE): Rave Dave (He was prone to sudden near-psychotic rages. I saw him literally foam at the mouth one day, when Simon Watkins arrived late for class.)

Mr Mitchells (English): Junior (My entire class, on our first day at 'the grammar', was convinced he was a prefect, so youthful were his looks.)

Mr Hurdley (English): Muttley

Mr Leslie (Maths): Pastie (Perhaps for his considerable girth.)

Mr Gooden (German, French): Bleary (No idea why. Lost in the mists of time.)

Mr Stevens (History): Snebbs (No, nor that one.)

Mr Goodsell (Groundsman): Rip Van Groundsell (Some thought him less than industrious, but this was, I think, a slur based on snobbery : working class, must be lazy.)

Mr Allen (Physics): Grubby (Not a personal hygiene matter, more to do with the cricketer, Gubby A.)

There was another Physics teacher known as Bamber, for his uncanny resemblence to Mr Gascoigne. Slightly worryingly, I can't remember his real name.

Mr Buisseret (Latin, French): Bruz or Skull (Anyone who looked more like a corpse would've spent all day warding off over-zealous undertakers.)

Mr Thomas (Technology), being Welsh, was imaginatively dubbed Taffy.

And I'm not even going to hint at the name some used for Mrs Johnson, another French teacher, except to say that boys' schools can be appallingly misogynistic places.

And finally, when the school was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the twentieth century (1974) by going co-educational, we acquired a female deputy head, Mrs Danter, known as Heather Pedanter.

Miss Clifton, known as Miss Cl*tfun
Dr Crowther, known as Crazy Al
Timothy Winkle, known as Twinkle
Steve Shipley, known as David Boatley
David Gunn, known as Banger (his sister Melanie was known as Lemony Gunge)

Nicknames were fairly mandatory for the boys of my childhood, with Fishy, Kippers, Spud and others making appearances in different contexts. Those without nicknames invariably had an 'y' or 'ers' added, football-style - Smithy, Bellers, etc.

It seemed to be a male thing - most of the girls at our school didn't seem to use them to the extend the boys did.

Mind you, I teach at a Primary school and the children don't use nicknames at all - we all had them from around 9/10 on...

was known as Killer Whale

My theory is every school had a Penfold. Ours was a particularly close likeness to DM's chum and taught computing.

Our head was a portly chap, nicknamed "The Loaf". Having had triple bypass surgery, he lost a lot of weight, and upon his return to the school, his nickname was changed to "The Slice".